Let's write an awful children's book!

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:10 pm

Can you contribute a few verses?

Menashe and Daniella Learn How to Take Responsibility

Once upon a time, Menashe and Daniella,
A brother and sister with hair that was yella,
They made trouble a lot, you'll see
That they need to learn to have responsibility.

thinkpositive ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:16 pm

They had a habit of theiving anything bright,
From silver and gold, to markers and lights,
So their mother decided the time was ripe,
To get them some help so they don't end up her 'type'.

effess

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:26 pm

They took a trip
With a very large ship
Across the sea
To learn about
responsibility

↑ thinkpositive

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:30 pm

They reached an island strewn with money,
That some pirates had dropped whilst in a hurry,
So they gathered their finds and boarded once more,
And off they went to spend it instore.

top mom ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:31 pm

Their mother's chinuch was A- okay
No matter the time of night or day
Always smiling and sweet
With lots of energy in her feet

(Is the awfulness over the limit here? TMI

)

amother

DarkOrange ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:45 pm

Then the mother smiled and said, "Good morning, children!
Let me sit and talk for hours with you, with patience built in!
Meanwhile I'll fold the laundry and wash the floors
And have dinner ready for Abba when he walks through the doors!"

She said all this with her shaitel on her head
And a great matching outfit, while she perched on their bed
Alternatively, she wore a tichel with tails
And had absolutely no shape (except that of a rail)

amother

Catmint ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:00 pm

top mom wrote:

Their mother's chinuch was A- okay
No matter the time of night or day
Always smiling and sweet
With lots of energy in her feet

(Is the awfulness over the limit here? TMI

)

She offered them dinners, the choices were many
They turned up their noses and didn't want any
But the angel their mother just smiled and said
Tell me what you do like, I'll cook it instead!

content ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:06 pm

So the children started to yell and scream
For chocolates and cookies and candy ice cream
So mom called the doctor and the doctor said
Put your kiddoes right to bed

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:17 pm

Daniella and Menashe the sister and brother
Became Tzaddikim like no other
They listened to Mommy right away
And kept the yetzer hara at bay
They were suddenly perfectly well behaved
And all of klal yisrael was saved!

(Sounds like my dd's mitzvah note)

↑ content

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:19 pm

The Leined krias shema with lots of kavana
Closed their eyes and smiled at the levana
Quietly drifted off within fluffy clouds
And their mother was so very very proud.

theoneandonly

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:21 pm

Menashe and Daniella one day were sad
Because they used to be bad
But being sad is bad middos according to morah!
We need to be careful to always follow the Torah!

So now the duo is happy as can be
And this is a lesson for you and also even for me
We just be good yidden and be strong
So moshiach can be here before too long!

happytobemom

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:32 pm

Round of applause!!

Thank you everyone for the laughs!

(Feel free to continue...)

amother

↑ DarkOrange ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:36 pm

Then suddenly they learned their lesson--we don't know how
It didn't take years of Mom having a cow
It didn't take tantrums or therapy sessions
Or growing up and having bigger problems before learning their lesson

Something just clicked in their storybook brains
And together they solemnly vowed "never again!"
And with bright cheery smiles, they stopped what they'd done
Because Menashe and Daniella are second to none!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:38 pm

Now mommy could say, "come here Menashe
Supper is ready, it's broccoli and kasha"
And happily he would come and at the table he'd sit
And Daniella would follow in a bit.

Rubber Ducky

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:40 pm

But Menashe and Daniella one day had a relapse
Something went wrong with their brain controls's synapse.

"Who needs all this midos stuff?" the two twins lamented.
"Good is so dull, we don't feel contented.

"This story's not over, we're bored and we're sad,
As all of of know, it's more fun to be bad."

amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:43 pm

Without further ado they reversed their direction
Erased all the good will and deep introspection
Instead they planned schemes of trouble and sins
Competed with each other for tfhe craziest wins!

amother

Natural ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:44 pm

because kids that is how it should be
you should know how it feels to be properly free
you might be a girl but you feel like a he
that's also perfectly as fine, you see

amother

↑ DarkOrange ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:45 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

Without further ado they reversed their direction
Erased all the good will and deep introspection
Instead they planned schemes of trouble and sins
Competed with each other for tfhe craziest wins!

(This plot twist was needed, for the author had in mind
A long running series all of the same kind)
And so they moved on to a new type of trouble
That fit neatly into the title of the series' next double

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:46 pm

So in came Michal the Middos Meidel,
Who was - Rolling Eyes

- so tziusdik and eidel
She taught them to listen only to the yetzer tov,
And give their Tatty and Mommy nachas l'rov!

amother

↑ Natural

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:47 pm

You should do what you want
its great to be bad
your mummy will appreciate
that youre not sad

you can ruin your friends crafts
you can topple there stuff
and just close your eyes
if they leave in a huff