If you serve only challah, dips, and cholent for lunch

amother

Babypink

Sun, May 07 2023, 4:58 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

I think this is the typical standard shabbos more options is more comfortable but not necessary
night:
Challah
Fish/Dips/salads
Chicken soup
2 Mains Chicken/meat
2-4 Sides
2 Dessert

Day:
Challah
Fish /Dips/salads
2 Mains Chicken/meat
2-4 Sides
2 Dessert

This is what’s normal in my community (JPF NY).
Challah and dips are on the table the entire meal.
Fish is usually gefilta or salmon (sometimes both). In the day, it’s sometimes herring.
Chicken soup at night/ eggs and liver in the day.
Main is meat/chicken (usually schnitzel and one type of meat, two if there are a lot of guests) at night and chulent and cold cuts in the day plus potato kugel, some sort of fruit based crumble, coleslaw and 1-3 veg dishes/salads (ex: string beans, roasted cauliflower/broccoli/Brussels sprouts).
Desert is just chocolate/candy if there are no guest (or nothing at all if everyone is full) and cake/mousse/pie if there are.

I rarely eat chulent—everyone’s chulent is different and some are great and some are not my taste. If I only had challah and chulent at a meal, I’d skip the chulent and eat something when I got home.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:04 pm

amother Caramel wrote:

This. When I invite people (all the time) I always ask if there are any foods to davka serve or davka not serve. It’s called being polite. And when I’m a guest, if I didn’t tell them anything, it’s not my fault.
It sounds to me like OP is a person who expects everything and gives nothing. Maybe OP should be more open when people invite her.

Expects everything??? Ridiculous. Expecting to not go home hungry is a reasonable expectation.

amother

↑ Caramel ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:06 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Whoa, you just took offense at OP for no reason! Who said she invited herself, who said she told them they didn’t have enough food? And big assumption to say maybe she eats more than a typical person! Most typical people won’t be full from dips, challah and a small bowl of cholent and it really isn’t enough for any host to just serve that.
Why did her post anger you so much?

I’m not angry.
Why else would she post this? She’s obviously upset.
How small is the bowl of chulent?
I serve more food than that, but if people are gonna kvetch, don’t go.
I’m the type who makes a ton of food and then forgets to serve some of it…also embarrassing!
Maybe OP can ask to bring something?

↑ Cheiny ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:13 pm

amother Black wrote:

As it goes through you are making it sound worse and worse. First dips now one mayo based dip. Cholent is very satisfying if you eat a bowlful, a scoop is ridiculous.

And why do you need to be "taught"? When in Rome do as Romans do. If you see your hosts eating 3 or 4 slices of challa, assume that that is where you need to fill up. Just because you were "taught" not to fill up on challa it doesn't mean that when you're out as a guest you shouldn't fill up on challa. It may mean it isn't the healthiest, I'd agree there. But it's not wrong that you need to be taught not to do it.

I disagree. If I saw my hosts stuffing themselves with challah it would not signal me to do the same. I’d just assume they love challah.

Most hosts do not expect their guests to know to fill up on challah because they’re only going to be served a small bowl of cholent.

Last edited by Cheiny on Sun, May 07 2023, 6:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Black

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:16 pm

Cheiny wrote:

It's all about different people's perceptions of "normal"
Is it "normal" to eat tons of challa? (not in my house but maybe in yours?)
Is it "normal" to serve only cholent for the main course? (yes in my house but maybe not in yours)

and so on.

If you are going to someone else's house you have to go by their standards of normal. I think it's really a little unfair to expect your host to provide for your standards.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:17 pm

amother Black wrote:

I'm actually not changing anything, I'm just spelling it out really REALLY clearly because it seems people are not are not reading carefully.

I said in my OP all of this. I said a small pot of cholent and I said dips, and I said dips, not salads. Later on, I clarified since you and others interpreted "dips" to mean egg salad and chopped liver, and others may have thought when I said dips, I meant salatim (even though in my OP I said clearly NOT salads, just dips), so I made it clear, dips = chummus, babagenush (mayo based), red pepper dip (more mayo), jalapeno dip (more mayo). In my OP I also said small pot of cholent for a table of people = everyone gets a scoop, no one gets a bowl-full.

As for seeing what my hosts are eating and "being in Rome", - I don't stare at people and watch what they eat. Do you? I'd hate to think my guests are counting how many helpings I take at my table, and I don't watch my hosts or other guests take more helpings.

I'm honestly not sure what your angle is in this thread. I came here to say a thing that I've experienced a few times (BH not a ton), and since other people seem to think it's fine to serve that kind of menu, I thought I'd come here and shed some light. Or just share my opinion.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:20 pm

amother Amber wrote:

Why not 1 main, 1-2 Sides & 1 desert? As long as the quantities are sufficient I really don't get it.

I don’t like meat and my husband doesn’t like chicken, so we make both on shabbos. He makes potato kugel, which I don’t like except Friday before it gets reheated. Like I wrote in a different comment, neither of us like cholent, but we make it for the guests. I make multiple vegetable based sides- like 3 or 4. That’s my main meal.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:24 pm

amother Black wrote:

Expecting to not go home hungry are normal standards.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 5:27 pm

amother Caramel wrote:

Same

amother

↑ Amber ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

I agree with black. In my house when we serve challah Dips & cholent its large quantities individually portioned- each couple gets their own chalah (not a roll, a full size challah) & we have portion cups for dips, always more than is needed. Cholent is served plated a large portion with meat & kugel. I follow with fish & eggs but these are rarely needed because my large cholent course is so large & filling.

Op you only wrote later that it was a scoop of cholent not a full portion.

↑ Cheiny

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:07 pm

amother Amber wrote:

She did originally say there was a small pot of cholent which would mean a small portion per person.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:30 pm

amother Amber wrote:

Well, I did not think I needed to spell it out... I wrote in my OP it was a ; small pot of cholent for a table full of people; this means each person gets a bit. Unless one is so rude as to see a small pot and take more than their fair share, leaving others with even less.

amother

↑ Mauve

Sun, May 07 2023, 6:50 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

Challa - refunded white flour - my blood sugar would spike
Cholent gives me stomach ache - it's been hot for hours
Didn't realize I had such SPECIAL dietary requirements!! Wouldn't have dreamt of telling a host in advance !

If you can't eat regular challah, for sure that's something you should tell a host. And cholent is a normal main for Shabbos. If youre happy not washing and only eating sides then don't mention it. But also don't be upset if those things are served to you.