Finished the Seder 11:00

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amother

↑ OP

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 4:33 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

What time did you start?

right on time around 9 o’clock.

fbc

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:07 pm

Sounds ideal to me. We were at family, sedarim ended about 230 both nights. First night I went to bed at 145, second night I went to bed about 1230. I'm an early to bed person...

amother

↑ Acacia

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

right on time around 9 o’clock.

It is great you could go to bed at a normal hour.

We finished at 2.30 and 1. But we shlepped cos of the kids.

Am just curious though to fit it all in 2 hours, do you have a very quick actual meal?
Are you a few ppl?

amother

↑ Lotus ↓

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:16 pm

I am literally sick from going to bed at 4am last few nights. I wish we would end earlier. We did end earlier than 4 but since it’s my house I had a lot of cleaning up to do and there were many guests. I’m not sure how you did everything in 2 hours but it sounds like you did everything you were supposed to do so why worry about it? At least you had a nice seder without extreme exhaustion the next day.

amother

Antiquewhite

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:34 pm

I'm green with envy. First, we started after 10 because... not really sure why. Then it dragged because DH and I were both too tired and we kept taking breaks. Then pouring the wine each kos took forever. Then everyone took a break after shulchan aruch. No good reasons...

amother

Dandelion ↓

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:36 pm

We finished before 11. Began right away and didn't drag anything out. Nobody was hungry so barely had a meal. What's the point in dragging things out just to end later? Later end time has no correlation with how amazing your seder was.

amother

Teal

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:42 pm

Family of 6. 4 kids aged two to eleven
Ended at 1ish

amother

↑ Hunter

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

This isn’t at all about a competition. I just wonder if there’s something more we should be doing. We don’t rush, we go at a normal pace but unless the kids speak up on their own we don’t do a lot of divrei torah. My husband gets the kids involved at all the opportune times- ma nishtana, makos, etc. he also sings whenever there’s a song. We just don’t drag anything out.

No. Your way is the best because the kids can see more of the seder. None of my kids made it through the whole thing. I had a 6 YO kid who took a serious nap so he saw a lot. I would prefer it end earlier and the kids could get the whole experience. DD4 would've loved to eat the matzah and marror, but it was too late for her. My almost 9 YO didn't even make it that far.

doodlesmom

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 5:58 pm

If your family is happy, you’re good! It’s all that counts!

pinkpeonies

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 6:03 pm

Lucky you! Earliest we have ever finished was 2:15 in my whole life… I’d love to finish at 11, we can have an enjoyable Seder without tiring out parents and children

amother

Emerald ↓

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 6:22 pm

The big question is, when did you start. Our sedarim (no little kids and not a large crowd) took 3 hours, both nights.
Another question is, what is shulchan orech like. We have egg soup, then a main course (protein starch veg), and then afikoman.
And I can see how a seder could have taken less time and still be full.

zaq

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 6:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

Pat yourselves on the back for being organized and efficient. The point of the story about Rabbi Akiva & Co. in Benei Berak isn't to imply that one should find ways to artificially extend the Seder till sunrise, but to encourage the telling of the story of the Exodus--which we accomplish by reading the Haggadah. Anything more is gravy.

You seem to have all the bases covered. If your children show an interest in more, great, but it's not mandatory. Flinging around toy frogs and squirting
red ink is fine for the preschool set, but if that doesn't ring your chimes, don't do it. IMHO multiple long-winded divrei Torah are best reserved for the daytime meals, not for the Sedarim when everyone is either hungry and chalishing to eat, exhausted beyond reason, or staying up well past bedtime and in danger of either nodding off or melting down.

amother

Hibiscus

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 7:33 pm

If it makes you feel better, my very frum FIL is a firm believer that "Divrei Torah can be shared during shulchan orech," and he leads his sedarim accordingly. We almost always end around midnight. We sing when there are songs, we do the maccos, etc, but otherwise we all go back to the bits we want to talk about once everyone has had a chance to eat. I love it. The kids get to participate in everything, everyone gets to eat and sleep at a reasonable hour, and everyone who needs to bow out can do so. There have been years that the younger set have stayed up till all hours after Nirtza singing and talking, but everything else had already been done. And everyone helps clean up! No such thing as only Bubby in the kitchen washing dishes.

amother

Quince ↓

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 7:38 pm

This year we finished second Seder at 11:30. It was fantastic. The reason our sedorim usually go longer is because the kids have so many divrei torah and they insist on reading them until we put our foot down. For a variety of reasons that didn’t happen this year. It was much easier.

cuties' mom ↓

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 7:39 pm

We're 3 people. We finished at 12:35 the first night and 12:10 (less divrei torah) the second night. We didn't rush or skip things, but when we finished the second seder, we heard our neighbor singing dayenu. It didn't bother me; I just thought it was strange that they were taking so long.

chocolate moose

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 7:44 pm

we went to friends who didn't start until mdnight the 2nd night and when we woke up the next morning we were still fleishic. we didn't go back

Amelia Bedelia

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:44 pm

We were probably only up to karpas at 11. Dh got home from shul way after 10.

notshanarishona

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:47 pm

I wish my husband could figure out how to make the seider faster, I always end up going through it on my own and getting to bed . Most people aren’t at their peak of energy at 10 pm after a whole day/ week of cleaning and cooking.

↑ NechaMom

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:51 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

we went to friends who didn't start until mdnight the 2nd night and when we woke up the next morning we were still fleishic. we didn't go back

What did they do from 9-12?
Of course you didn’t go back! Can't Believe It

amother

Denim

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:54 pm

For those who finish early, I'm really curious.
Do you read all the words?
Do you translate?
Do you sing the singing parts?
Does everyone say mah Nishtana together? (By us, each kid says it separately)?
How does the logistics of filling up all the Kosos, handing out proper amounts of matza, etc work out.

Because we have 5 kids from 5-17. We say all the words and translate each paragraph. Each of my kids was allowed to say 2 or 3 divrei Torah less than a minute apiece.
And both nights, we started at 9, finished maggid at 11:45, ate the afikomen by 1(chatzos) and finished the Seder by 2:15. (We sing the whole Hallel).

I'm not judging at all. I'm really curious how it can even work because we really didn't waste time and we kept on moving.

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