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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:10 am
Also, while he gives his all to the business he still also has adorable children, who he will have a lot of joy from hopefully, but they don’t grow on trees you know.
They should share the money the same way they share the children even though money doesn’t either grow on trees.
That’s what marriage is all about.
How would be like it if Esti said she still haven’t decided which school to send their son too, she needs to discuss it with her parenting coach and think it through and she will let him know.
I don’t know if this is part of the authors point, as a moral to the story , maybe this is what she’s trying to bring out, among the other morals to this story.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:36 am
amother Poppy wrote: | If there's no will then yes, halachically everything goes to the sons. Yes, even today - the halacha hasn't changed. |
Do you know this from personal experience? Because IRL this is not the case. People should know this.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:41 am
amother Coral wrote: | OP you hate Eli?
I hate Dina. And the Dinas IRL. I promise you if you had such a sil, you'd hate her too.
She invites herself, makes her demands, and every time she cries, the family bows down to her??
She is entitled to everything she wants. She takes advantage of everyone around her.
Where is her husband in the picture? She lost her father, not her spouse or child. Her mother is a much bigger pity...(I just lost my father)
Everyone should stop babying her... Eli should stand up for his family, and stop tending to her craziness.
It's all family drama and nonsense. |
I wonder if she was sick as a child and was coddled a lot because of that and and they never got out of that mode of behavior
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:45 am
amother Whitewash wrote: | Do you know this from personal experience? Because IRL this is not the case. People should know this. |
Actually, if a person doesn't have what's called a "halachic living will" then I think everything (or at least pi shnayim) does go to the oldest son. The halachic living will states that an hour before his or her death the person leaves whatever they are leaving to the various children. This avoids the issue of pi shnayim going to the oldest son.
If the father of the beckmans hadn't made any kind of will then he would not have had this either since his death was so unexpected...
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:55 am
amother Whitewash wrote: | Do you know this from personal experience? Because IRL this is not the case. People should know this. |
Yes I know this IRL. Not from me, but from others.
Yes I know some people will share out to be nice, to fit with modern day sensibilities or whatever, but they have no halachic requirement to do so if there's no will.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:59 am
amother Daylily wrote: | I wonder if she was sick as a child and was coddled a lot because of that and and they never got out of that mode of behavior |
That would be a good dan lkaf zchus, didn't think of it
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 12:07 pm
Also it seems like there is more money being hidden that Esty doesn’t know about.
Like the friend she met at the grocery that told her about an estate being brought to Bais Din because of a dispute.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 12:10 pm
I also think Esty is being extremely immature and self centered. As much as she is upset at her husband for not telling her things and as much as she is annoyed by Dina, these people just lost their father in a sudden and very tragic and shocking way. And yet all she seems to care about is whether her husband is telling her things about his business and how much money he is giving to Dina. Dina is an indulged brat, but Esty is really not acting like a mentch either.
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birdie1
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 12:17 pm
amother Daylily wrote: | I also think Esty is being extremely immature and self centered. As much as she is upset at her husband for not telling her things and as much as she is annoyed by Dina, these people just lost their father in a sudden and very tragic and shocking way. And yet all she seems to care about is whether her husband is telling her things about his business and how much money he is giving to Dina. Dina is an indulged brat, but Esty is really not acting like a mentch either. |
I feel for Esty. She did try to overextend herself for her husbands family. But she’s human. She sees her husband bending over backwards for his family, and totally taking her for granted and more. I especially hated the way his other sister was like “oh I’ll make sure he makes himself available to babysit so we can have our girls dinner.” And he did.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 12:22 pm
amother Daylily wrote: | I also think Esty is being extremely immature and self centered. As much as she is upset at her husband for not telling her things and as much as she is annoyed by Dina, these people just lost their father in a sudden and very tragic and shocking way. And yet all she seems to care about is whether her husband is telling her things about his business and how much money he is giving to Dina. Dina is an indulged brat, but Esty is really not acting like a mentch either. |
Not a mentch to be upset that your husband is working overtime to support his sister's crazy indulgent lifestyle? That almost every cent he works for goes to his sister rather than them ever using it for their own enjoyment?
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 12:25 pm
amother Poppy wrote: | Not a mentch to be upset that your husband is working overtime to support his sister's crazy indulgent lifestyle? That almost every cent he works for goes to his sister rather than them ever using it for their own enjoyment? |
She's not presenting it to him in a mature way. She's always putting him on the defensive. They don't have healthy communication in their marriage. 100% agree that Esty has a right to be mad at her husband. But she still needs to present it to him with more thought and less emotion. And also to take into account the fact that they all just lost their father traumatically...
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 12:31 pm
amother Daylily wrote: | She's not presenting it to him in a mature way. She's always putting him on the defensive. They don't have healthy communication in their marriage. 100% agree that Esty has a right to be mad at her husband. But she still needs to present it to him with more thought and less emotion. And also to take into account the fact that they all just lost their father traumatically... |
Believe me, if my husband would do this, I would be far worse than Esty. Lol
No idea why she puts up with this.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:42 pm
amother Daylily wrote: | I wonder if she was sick as a child and was coddled a lot because of that and and they never got out of that mode of behavior |
There must be a reason, this is just too ridiculous
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:47 pm
amother Whitewash wrote: | Do you know this from personal experience? Because IRL this is not the case. People should know this. |
According to halacha, if someone doesn't have a will, everything automatically goes to the oldest son.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:51 pm
amother DarkGreen wrote: | According to halacha, if someone doesn't have a will, everything automatically goes to the oldest son. |
Everything goes to the sons, not just oldest son.
Oldest son gets a double portion, but other sons get as well.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 2:46 pm
Esty is being treated badly by everyone. Her husband is very disrespectful to her.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 2:47 pm
Girls don’t get anything of there is no will? What if girls are older then boys
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 3:04 pm
amother Cognac wrote: | Girls don’t get anything of there is no will? What if girls are older then boys |
Halachically not required but many do
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 4:07 pm
birdie1 wrote: | I feel for Esty. She did try to overextend herself for her husbands family. But she’s human. She sees her husband bending over backwards for his family, and totally taking her for granted and more. I especially hated the way his other sister was like “oh I’ll make sure he makes himself available to babysit so we can have our girls dinner.” And he did. |
Agree.
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amother
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Mon, Mar 20 2023, 4:10 pm
amother Daylily wrote: | She's not presenting it to him in a mature way. She's always putting him on the defensive. They don't have healthy communication in their marriage. 100% agree that Esty has a right to be mad at her husband. But she still needs to present it to him with more thought and less emotion. And also to take into account the fact that they all just lost their father traumatically... |
Right they have the worst communication ever, and every time he walks out on her he just comes home to another warm supper that she serves him, again.
He comes into their bedroom, says he’s tired and goes straight to sleep.
I hope most normal couples done act like that ,yes it can happen on occasion but not on a regular basis.
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