Wait two years after divorce

Imateacher ↓

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 3:47 pm

Is it true that a woman who got divorced must wait two years to get remarried if she has a baby? Does it make a difference if she had the baby before or after the get?

↑ Imateacher ↓

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:03 pm

gr82no wrote:

As far as I know a nursing mother shouldn’t remarry because the milk might change or something like that.

Right what if she isn’t nursing

happy chick

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:04 pm

Never heard of such a thing, but bh I've never had to know about such stuff.

If that's the case, would that apply to a woman who r"l lost her husband?

banana123

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:21 pm

I will remind you that a woman is considered a meineket if the baby is under 2 years old, regardless of whether she is nursing.

As to the source: S"A Even Ha'ezer, siman 13.

Those in this situation should ask a rav if there is a way to be matir the marriage before the child is 2. It does not *necessarily* have to do with whether the child is actually nursing or not, it is more correlated with the child's age.

↑ Imateacher ↓

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:22 pm

happy chick wrote:

Never heard of such a thing, but bh I've never had to know about such stuff.

If that's the case, would that apply to a woman who r"l lost her husband?

She waits a minimum of three months I believe so if she gets pregnant from the second husband there isn’t a doubt of the fathers identity

Blessing1 ↓

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:24 pm

Imateacher wrote:

Is it true that a woman who got divorced must wait two years to get remarried if she has a baby? Does it make a difference if she had the baby before or after the get?

She doesn't must wait 2 years, she has to wait till the child is 2. (And there are heteirim around it.)

Last edited by Blessing1 on Sun, Feb 12 2023, 5:01 pm; edited 1 time in total

BadTichelDay

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:36 pm

Imateacher wrote:

She waits a minimum of three months I believe so if she gets pregnant from the second husband there isn’t a doubt of the fathers identity

That's if she doesn't have a baby up to age two at the time.

I believe the two year rule was originally instituted to protect a helpless baby against neglect from a mother who might be distracted by her brand new marriage. Or as a protection of the mother stopping breastfeeding in order to get pregnant more quickly from her new husband. Before you throw the tomatoes, I think both of these situations could have happened, in the past maybe more than today.

↑ Imateacher

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 4:59 pm

BadTichelDay wrote:

Yes, I wonder if that applies today is the mother is not nursing, formula is easily accessible. Fwiw, a family member was considering divorce and she was told by someone she would have to wait until her baby was two to get remarried. She stayed married but she felt like that person just told her that to discourage her from getting divorced. She wasn’t nursing at that point and could easily feed with formula

↑ Blessing1

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 5:03 pm

BadTichelDay wrote:

I don't think so. I think the 3 month rule applies regardless if she has a baby under 2, so if she gets pregnant right way with the new husband, there shouldn't be confusion regardless who the father it is.
But realistically, most women don't get married within 3 months of their husbands passing.

Elfrida

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 5:18 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

She doesn't must wait 2 years, she has to wait till the child is 2. (And there are heteirim around it.)

My friend got divorced while she was pregnant, and was told that she shouldn't date before the baby was two, so it was a few months over two years in her case.

She wasn't aware of any heter, but she wasn't ready to date for some time after that, so she never asked.

YounginBP

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 6:42 pm

My friend had a small baby, was not nursing was also told to wait until baby is 2. She was also told to wait to start dating, not that let's say, wedding can be on baby's birthday.

keym

Sun, Feb 12 2023, 6:53 pm

A close relative of mine lost her husband while still pregnant.
Her Rav told her to put aside a certain amount of money (the cost of formula and food for 2 full years) into a trust controlled by the community Rav.
If she chose to remarry before the child turned 2, the Rav would use that money to feed the child.

The halachic logic is that a child's right is to nurse until 2. And his father won't take away that right to pressure his mother to get pregnant again. But a man whose not that child's father, may be less inclined towards that child's rights.