People saying how smart phones bad etc

amother

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 2:37 pm

Smart phone saved my life , and social media

For the First time in my life (since I got my phone 12 years ago) I am not as lonely as I was
When rabanim say to get rid of phone internet bad , I can't understand, this has literally saved my life
Does anyone relate?

effess

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 2:51 pm

Very few things on this earth are 100% good or 100% bad.
Of course smart phones are good for many people and it’s also very bad for some ppl.

I believe it’s good depending how you use it.
I’m glad it saved your life.

amother

Viola

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 2:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yeah
Staying home alone with a newborn is much easier now

weasley ↓

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 2:58 pm

I'll be honest and say for me personally it's more negative then good.

Theres no doubt it takes time away from my family when I could be connecting with them instead of whatsapping, perusing the web.

I'd get a hell lot more done in my life instead of a having a great handheld procrastinating tool.

But it's how I connect to my siblings and friends so yes more negative then positive but I'm not ready or able to give it up.

OceanRider

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:04 pm

weasley wrote:

I agree.

And I also like your screen name and avatar Smile

amother

Amber

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m not sure it’s really healthy if you’re relying on social media to “save your life.”
There are limits to everything.
Yes, there are plenty of things on the internet that can be very bad but there are also positives. It’s not all one way or another.
But you can’t deny people who’ve used the internet for bad things can really be harmed. Marriages have broken up because of it. Cheating and accessing p-rn have become unbelievably simple because of it. So I understand why the rabbonim are against it.
But it can also be used for good.

Saving your life? That doesn’t sound healthy, too extreme.

amother

Honeydew ↓

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yep. Everything that Hashem created can be used for good or bad. It is up to the person to make the right choice. Banning something is just the easy way out. The proper way is to teach and to provide guidance how to remain on the right side of the fence.

We teach and learn all the complexities about kashrus, taharas hamischpacha and hilchos shabbos. We can do the same for smartphones. Teach what's considered good use, what is to be avoided at all costs, and how to set limits around it. For those who feel that they need more restraint, then go ahead and set your own rules for it. But the current approach to ban all of its use will fail and it will only create further problems down the road.

amother

Dahlia

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:32 pm

I get it. It can be bad and is very frowned upon in the frum community where I live. Maybe everywhere it's like this.

For me it's my office, since I've become single and I need to keep on top of everything it's so helpful. I find it a huge hassle to get my laptop out. But sadly I do waste time on it sometimes and and get told off other times, why I'm not answering a call (when I decided to put the phone away for a few hours)

amother

SandyBrown

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:33 pm

weasley wrote:

Agree with this.
I feel so guilty about the times when I disconnect from my kids and dh. The time I spend on my phone to unwind would be better spent reading a book, but it’s so much easier to spend it on the phone than to focus on a book on the other hand in my experience the time spent to unwind on my phone cuts into spending time with kids and spouse a lot more than reading a book.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 3:37 pm

If not for social media I would not have learned about trauma and CPTSD and that my mother is borderline, and maybe would have just spent the rest of my life believing I’m just a pathetic miserable failure and not have gotten help.

I do use screens to numb, but without it, I’m sure I would have just found other unhealthy mechanisms, maybe worse. When I was a teen, it was vodka…

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 4:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Op, I totally relate. I am so lonely. Everyone is busy with their families. I have a small one and I find that people don't share very much with anyone besides immediate family. This applies to chassidish oilem. I'm not sure about other communities. I have good friends but the more we age, the more discreet everything becomes because people don't want anything to come back to haunt them when doing shidduchim.

My sister, who I'm officially very close to, recently said to me she can't share anything major even if I'm to be trusted, she can't share anything about her kids because it's not fair to them, it's pointless to share day to day things. My question to her is how do we define a close relationship if you don't share major or minor events in a person's life. The answer is "shidduchim ".

This makes me very lonely.

Thank God for smartphones. This let's me know what's going on in the community and connect with people

amother

Oldlace

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 4:38 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

I totally relate. The secretiveness in the chassidish community makes me feel so isolated with my challenges. It’s sad. And makes online support even more valuable.

amother

Pink

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 4:44 pm

Our Rav and Rosh Yeshiva have smartphones. whatsapp shiurim constantly and answers to basic shaylas on a shayla chat.
A smartphone is like a very sharp kitchen knife. Use it carefully and responsibly for good things.

amother

Steelblue

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 4:59 pm

amother Amber wrote:

You sound clueless.

amother

Snow

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 5:05 pm

Smartphones are no different from any technological development from fire and the wheel foreard. Anything can be used for good or evil. You don't even need technology; the human mind and body alone can be used , abused or misused.

When telephones first became available, rabbanim were opposed to them because they would serve as vehicles for LH and rechilus. Show me one rav who suggests not having a telephone today. Aderabba, it would be a sakonas nefoshos not to have one. One of these days a smartphone will be as essential to basic safety as a regular phone is today. It's up to people to control themselves and use these devices in a kosher way.