Aron Hendler | Imamother

amother

↑ Alyssum ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:08 pm

amother Iris wrote:

Please don’t. That’s really strange. And no im sure he doesn’t need ur care packages. He has a frum father and I’m sure Rebbeim and friends. Poor kid. I think he would most appreciate being allowed to be a regular boy.

I disagree. People like to get things, it makes them feel good. Look at all the boxes people are getting now from an organization for chanuka, and the presents that kids from single family homes or people who are struggling with illnesses and their families will be getting. Its a nice feeling that someone out there cares for you. Why shouldnt Aron know that people care about him as well? He has been through a lot for his age so its nice that he can get something to help him overcome the trauma (and yes, divorce of parents plus having to deal with a narcissistic mother who went otd and trashed his lifestyle and attacked him for his opinion on tv, etc is very traumatic). A care package would be nice. If op wants to send it for chanuka then fine but there is nothing wrong with it even she sends it on other days (like nosh for Shabbos, or snacks for midweek, etc).

amother

Tanzanite ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:13 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

There's a difference between receiving something from an organization and receiving it from a private individual. And this is a kid.

amother

↑ Iris ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:22 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

An organization is different than a random frum woman who saw him on netflix. No. Why would he appreciate being made to feel like something out of the ordinary. If he had a social media account then sending a message or comment would be an acceptable way to express admiration. But trying to track him down by posting on a forum, or messaging his step mom trying to get his contact info is just strange and not appropriate.

amother

↑ Alyssum ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:25 pm

amother Tanzanite wrote:

There's a difference between receiving something from an organization and receiving it from a private individual. And this is a kid.

I dont know if there are organizations that deal with such situations so I dont see anything wrong with someone wanting to send him a care package on her own. And this "kid" you speak of is 15 or 16 so lets not pretend he is a little boy. He was on tv so he had exposure that other teenagers dont have and he experienced a trauma on tv dealing with his narcissistic mother aside from other traumatic events he experienced (like being abandoned by his mother at a young age, having Bat raise him, dealing with a narc mother, etc). I dont see how it would hurt to send a care package to show support.
If op wants to organize it through imamother then perhaps she can reach out to Yael to see if there is a way to have money collected to send him a care package from the organization called "imamother" if that would make it more comfortable for you since you feel like it has to come from an "organization" instead of private people.

amother

↑ Iris ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:28 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

It’s bad enough his traumas are played out on a tv show. I can’t imagine random pple breaking down exactly what his traumas are and deciding to send him a care package when you have no connection to him or his family will make him feel any better. It’s a lack of boundaries to track him down and send him nosh or whatever

Highstrung ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:30 pm

To me it’s overstepping a boundary of sorts.
Like a stranger butting into someone else’s personal life just because she heard some gossip and wants to help out . There’s a time and place for everything. I just don’t think this is the place. That’s my personal opinion though and others could disagree with me.

*I see I cross posted with poster above

amother

↑ Alyssum

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:31 pm

amother Iris wrote:

The boundaries ended the minute he signed a waiver to go on tv. Now we are all familiar with him and concerned about him so if someone wants to show support and send a care package then there is nothing wrong about that. Its not like he is being stalked or having strangers show up at his dorm, he will get a care package delivery so stop making it out to be something weird when its not.

amother

Coral ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:37 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Oh please. I went through a trauma as a kid and I would never have wanted a stranger to send me a care package. I'm very sure he would not appreciate it.

amother

↑ Iris

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:38 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Nope. You still need to respect the kids boundaries even if he “put himself out there” you are the adult. Maybe be sensitive to the fact that he was put in tv. He’s still a frum teenage boy.

amother

↑ Coral

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:43 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Do you think he had a choice about signing any waivers? And do you think he had any clue what it was going to be like? He was a young kid at the time. Just leave him alone. It's bad enough that his mother exploits him for her narcissistic needs. He doesn't need other people using him to make themselves feel good.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:45 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

He’s 15. He didn’t sign anything. His parents did.

amother

↑ Tanzanite

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:51 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

He's a teenager. The fact that his life is not fully private makes these boundaries more important, not less.

↑ Highstrung

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 3:55 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Him being on TV is not in his control. His mother already breached his boundaries, and put him in this predicament . If you truly wanted to show support you’d show him respect and you’d respect his boundaries.

↑ sequoia ↓

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 4:14 pm

OP, you mean well, but getting a message from a stranger would not give him chizzuk. It would be a reminder that he’s not like others: a reality show star. It would be a reminder of his exposure. The best gift we can give him is privacy. Let him learn and grow in peace.

watergirl

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 4:17 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Not to be a dead horse, but to echo everybody else, he cannot give consent to anything as a minor. In America, no minor can sign a contract. The reality TV industry is the only one where child “actors” have no protection under the Screen Actors Guild/union. Children in reality TV shows are exploited by their parents. This kid never asked for this kind of attention and it’s not right for people to disregard the fact that he is literally a stranger. It is appropriate to send strangers things, even more inappropriate for an adult woman to send a teenage boy some thing, even just a note.

OP, the best thing you can send him are your teffilos.

amother

Pink

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 4:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok ya I get how that sounds super creepy! Honestly I’m just so impressed by him and wanted to give him a kudos, and maybe some chizzuk to keep standing up for what he believes is right.

I actually dont see anything wrong with this, he can use a lot of chizzuk im sure.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 4:23 pm

Highstrung wrote:

He really couldn't refuse?

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 6:17 pm

Just want to clarify I never said anything about a care package. I just wanted to send him a message saying he is brave and strong for standing up for his beliefs. I wholeheartedly disagree with a lot of you except the one person who suggested there might be a difference if he had a platform/social media account. I am certainly not planning to reach out to his family to try to get ahold of him. I guess I was wondering if there was a way to easily get ahold of him via social media (email even). Y’all are entitled to your opinions but anyways I wasn’t asking for them Wink

. If anyone has an email for him great, otherwise I’m happy ending the discussion here.

amother

Thistle

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 6:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

. If anyone has an email for him great, otherwise I’m happy ending the discussion here.

Why would anyone give you that especially if you are anonymous?