How do I pick a camp

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Nov 21 2022, 10:23 pm

My dd Is in 8th grade this yr. She has never gone to sleep away camp - and neither have I! But she is ready to try it.
I have nooooo idea how to pick.
We are out of town yeshivish, like me and dh are both professionals but dh wears black and white, davens w minyan 3x a day and goes to night seder. We have very little screen time, zero exposure to TV etc. Occasionally will watch a disney movie at her grandparents on vacation. My daughter will read secular novels only if they come from bais yaakov library. We don't care about brands or trends at all. She herself is super non-comformist, very unique and self confident to do things her own way. She told me maayan Midwest sounds fun but on another thread people said it's more modern. A good friend of hers is going to Camp Bais Yaakov but it sounds very stiff to me....
Ok, open to all suggestions

amother

Leaf

Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:42 pm

Following.
I have 8th grade dd too.
Someone suggested camp tehilla for her. Dk anything about it.
Description is somewhat similar beside that we live in Lakewood, my husband is in klei kodesh and my daughter is very conformist and pretty self conscious (we are way too simple for her taste! LOL

)

amother

↑ Dimgray ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 6:24 am

Quote:

That’s really sad.

Not sure what part of that is sad...
There are tons of girls camps in this country catering to all different hashkafas. The way a girl dresses definitely defines where she is holding hashkafically or what kind of environment she is coming from. (You may not like that, but you can't argue that it's not the way it is)

Chayalle ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:04 am

amother OP wrote:

Not sure what you mean by stiff....my girls all went to CBY. I would say it's pretty in-towny (and has become more so, since my older girls went there) and conformist though, and there definitely is a strong contingent there that cares about brands and trends (my DD who was not into that at all, picked it up there.)

I think Camp Tehilla is a bit more chilled than CBY, but it is still an in-town camp. Girls I know who go there are pretty yeshivish, but less into trends.

amother

Brunette ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:11 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

Quote:

That’s really sad.

I most certainly can argue that thats not the way it is.
We are yeshivish, fit right in with OP and other above posters, and our YESHIVISH Rav holds that covering the leg is not halacha, and ankle socks may certainly be worn halachicly.
So your lumping one of our Rav's yeshivish constituents as xyz based on her socks, is wrong.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:15 am

amother Brunette wrote:

I'm not that poster, and I'm not going to say whether it's happy, sad, or any other emotion. But if the average dress in a camp is not our standards of tznius, I would not want to send my DD there and I would want to know about it.

Our YESHIVISH Rav (and many of Lakewood's Rabbabim) hold that leg covering IS halacha. Parents have a right and an obligation to check if a camp's Hashkafa is in line with theirs. Or if the standard mode of dress in that camp in line with their Hashkafa.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:17 am

Camp Bais Yaakov and Camp Tehilla are both totally comparable/interchangeable and sound your speed.

Both fun, chilled, very Bais Yaakov camps and definitely not “type” specific, so all fit in.

(PS: You will have girls who care, or don't care, about ‘conformity’ wherever you go)

↑ Chayalle ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:19 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

I do think there are slight nuances/differences between CBY and Camp Tehilla. There are girls who would go to the one, and would not go to the other.

I agree with the rest of your post.

amother

↑ Brunette ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:21 am

Chayalle wrote:

Im not disagreeing with this.
But it is ridiculous to assume that because a girl wears ankle socks (in accordance with her yeshivish Rav's psak), she is a "more modern girl" even if she is exactly the same in terms of not watching any movies, only secular books from the frum library, no outside media influence, father wears white shirt black hat, etc. Every single thing can match up besides the leg covering-so that is not a smart metric to look at.

ETA also, your yeshivish Rav holds legs must be covered, mine holds the opposite. Not surprising, because there are different psaks among all Rabbanim. Yet no one seems to care that my Rav holds I can kasher my oven from fleishig to parve with just 45 minutes of highest heat, while my friend's yeshivish Rav holds she needs to self clean it. No one is separating girls by "type" based on their halachos of kashrus. You don't seclude your daughter from being in camp with mine even though we may hold differently with kashrus halachas, but you seclude your daughter from mine because of covering the leg halacha?? Why cant your daughter just understand that my daughter's Rav holds this way??

↑ Chayalle ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:24 am

amother Brunette wrote:

We can agree to disagree. Many poskim consider wearing ankle socks with knee-length skirts - IOW not covering the leg - to be a step down in tznius.

I respect the not watching movies, no secular books, limiting exposure to media, etc....but I would not send my daughter to a camp where that is standard dress code, because it is not our Hashkafa.

amother

↑ Brunette

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:28 am

Chayalle wrote:

I respect the not watching movies, no secular books, limiting exposure to media, etc....but I would not send my daughter to a camp where that is standard dress code, because it is not our Hashkafa.

I can understand not semding your daughter to camp with that dress code, but I can NOT understand classifying a girl as "a certain type" and more modern or whatever, based SOLELY on her socks.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:35 am

amother Brunette wrote:

ETA also, your yeshivish Rav holds legs must be covered, mine holds the opposite. Not surprising, because there are different psaks among all Rabbanim. Yet no one seems to care that my Rav holds I can kasher my oven from fleishig to parve with just 45 minutes of highest heat, while my friend's yeshivish Rav holds she needs to self clean it. No one is separating girls by "type" based on their halachos of kashrus. You don't seclude your daughter from being in camp with mine even though we may hold differently with kashrus halachas, but you seclude your daughter from mine because of covering the leg halacha?? Why cant your daughter just understand that my daughter's Rav holds this way??

Surprisingly, my Rav hold the same as yours with Kashering an oeven from fleishig/milchig to Parve.

But practically speaking, my teen isn't feeling peer pressure from how you Kasher your oven, but tznius is a real challenge for teens, and many teens go with the herd. Al Tivienu Lo Lidei Nisayon. Sending my DD to a camp where the standard of tznius is less than what we hold as Halacha in our home would be putting her in a situation of nisayon. It would be unfair of me to expect her to uphold our family's standard of tznius in such a situation.

I guess by the same token, if the majority of campers are not Makpid on Cholov Yisrael, which we are makpid on, I wouldn't send her either.

groisamomma ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:36 am

Can someone PM me with the name of a Yeshivish rav that holds that calves can be uncovered? DH won't allow it for my one daughter that wants it until he gets the psak directly from a Yeshivish rav and I can't find one. It would be a great help for me in resolving some "differences" between DD and DH.

(If OP is uncomfortable with the metric being clothing then Camp Bais Yaakov is not for her. Neither is Camp Tehilla. Both camps hold that knee socks are mandatory, regardless of exposure to movies, TV, and all those other things. She'd fit more into Mayan midwest.)

↑ Chayalle ↓

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:39 am

[quote="amother Vanilla"]

Chayalle wrote:

I do think there are slight nuances/differences between CBY and Camp Tehilla. There are girls who would go to the one, and would not go to the other.

How does Camp Tubby compare to CBY and Camp Tehilla?

I think it is somewhat more yeshivish, but not exclusively (there is a mix).