How is camp good and not good for the kid?

amother

Cerulean ↓

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 4:51 am

Are you talking about sleep away camp?
I’m laying in bed thinking the exact same thing. I’m sending my daughter tomorrow and I’m wondering who decided that it’s normal to send your young child away for a month??
There are some good and fun things but it’s also hard for the child to share a room, bathroom and shower with 20 girls. Not having laundry done on a regular basis… Not seeing your parents for so long… why is it okay?

DrMom

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:42 am

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

It gives kids the chance to develop some independence (but still In a supervised framework) and coping skills.

It also provides a beautiful change of scenery.

ysydmom

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:25 am

Camp is amazing it's fresh air, it's doing new and different activities, it's a change of scenery, it teaches kids independence, a chance to use talents like singing, dancing, drama, art in a Frum framework, a chance to build new friendships and discover ones strengths, it teaches achdus, meeting people from different parts of the country or world, learning about nature, learning how to live with what you have (for those that don't send potato kugel every erev Shabbos or ship packages).

essie14 ↓

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 7:36 am

ysydmom wrote:

I loved sleep away camp!
I went in the 80s. No packages, no calling home. I made incredible friends who I'm still friends with, 35 years later.
I agree with all you wrote.
It's such a fabulous experience.

amother

Latte

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 7:56 am

amother [ Snowdrop ] wrote:

Camp is amazing for kids. It gives them an opportunity to build independence in a safe way. It gives them time to shine in ways they might not have been able to at home. It’s tons of fun and they get to do special activities they might not have exposure to elsewhere. I made lifelong friends there and I keep up with them more than school friends.

I can’t think of how it’s not good for kids.

For introverted kids, putting them in an environment where they never get a moment of privacy or quiet is overstimulating, especially for a month or more. For younger kids, having them away from their parents for a month or more can lead to serious homesickness, which (from experience) you don't just "get over". For some kids, being in a mostly unsupervised environment can lead to spending a month getting bullied with no relief and/or being socially ostracized. For kids with certain food sensitivities, being away means being underfed for a month or more.

I'm not saying camp isn't great and wonderful for many, even most, but there are plenty of reasons why it wouldn't be good for every child.

Chayalle

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 8:29 am

amother [ Latte ] wrote:

I think the trick is to send a child when they are ready. I have two DD's who are introverted, and both LOVED camp (one tells me she really lives in the "machaneh" but she just came home for a 10-month visit. She has been begging me to go for the full summer.) - but I didn't send them very young. They each started at age 13, and had some wonderful summers. At a certain point I find my girls have had enough, and they stop going. But they treasure the memories and friendships they made there.

And like Chartreuse said, the spiritual benefits are also amazing. I found that camp strengthened certain things in my DD's - davening, tznius, etc...providing them with role models they looked up to (in terms of dress, refinement, etc...) and feeling part of a whole huge group of girls who know how to have a good time but stop to daven Minchah. Get up for Shacharis even if you're tired. My DD (14) has been telling me of the camp Rebbetzin's amazing workshops she attended - lessons for life - and she has quite caught the inspiration bug. These experiences are priceless.

Camp is amazing. It's true that it's hard to be away from home, and you have to figure out how to wash certain items or you won't have what you need, and you might feel homesick (and a friend might chear you up, and you will do the same for her when she needs), and sometimes they don't get enough sleep (I feel the camps could tone it down a bit there...) but overall there's a reason that we spent money that was hard to come by to send them. DH and I feel it's an important part of their Chinuch.

↑ essie14

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:37 am

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

No calling home sounds like camp sternberg!

LOL, yup!

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

I will add, there are tremendous spiritual advantages too. It was in camp that I learned to really love Shabbos and learning.

True! There is nothing like shabbat in camp. And Tisha B'av in camp is a one of a kind experience. I didn't have as meaningful a Tisha B'Av until I spent the day at the Kotel. Camp makes it really really meaningful.
I also davened more in camp than in school!

amother

↑ Cerulean ↓

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:56 am

So … my daughter is leaving to camp tomorrow. Very mixed feelings. On one hand it’s a great opportunity to forget about everything and be with friends. Outdoors, singing, games…. But my daughter woke up not feeling well today. It looks like she has a little virus. I wish she would be staying home this week. And I’m so worried how she will handle having her period in camp. She’s so new to it and doesn’t feel well the first day or two. Add trying to discreetly take pads to the bathroom…. Why am I sending her??? She’s not the confident type. She won’t initiate friendships but will reciprocate if someone reaches out to her. I so badly want her to be okay and happy the whole time she’s there… but my heart is in my stomach. I can’t wait till the end of august.

amother

↑ Cinnamon ↓

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:03 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

Why did you sign her up? Did she want to go?

amother

Honeydew

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:04 pm

Lol as a staff parent, I’m kind of jealous reading these responses. I always thought my kids had the best of both worlds. The whole camp experience plus a parent around for whenever you need them. But truthfully, they are missing out on the developing independence part.
Being on site in a camp, though, I can tell you that the whole atmosphere is generally super pumped and happy. It’s really the unlikely exception when kids are unhappy.
I hope your daughter has an amazing time!

amother

↑ Cerulean ↓

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:18 pm

amother [ Cinnamon ] wrote:

Why did you sign her up? Did she want to go?

Yes, she did want to go. She went last year. As it was getting closer she was remembering what seemed to be a nightmare last year- finding and schlepping her luggage in the pouring rain on the first day, waiting for the shower and just when she turned on the water someone started pounding that it was really her turn, not being able to find her bunk after she went to the nurse, not having linen to sleep on the last night because they were told to send in their luggage the night before they came home…. Hopefully.. I’m really hoping that the good times will outweigh the more difficult times. I’m hoping she will come home with good memories and good friends and it will all be worth it. I’m a mother. I worry. I don’t tell her all this. I tell her she’ll be fine and everything will work out. I tell her we’ll miss her and we can’t wait till visiting day.

amother

↑ Cinnamon ↓

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:27 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Sounds like your kids do have the best of both worlds. My kids are young, never went to camp, but super independent. There are many ways to foster independence without sleepaway camp.

amother

↑ Cinnamon

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 12:28 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

I'm sure she will be great. It's the last minute nerves. And normal for a mom to worry.