When do they learn common sense?

SharonaB ↓

Thu, May 01 2008, 8:30 am

My ten year old likes to roam out and about near our house (we live in Israel on a yeshuv so it is safe to do so). However, he has told me that he likes climbing and has shown me a few of the places he climbs. He has also shown me a couple of deserted, half built houses he likes to visit.

One side of me feels I should ban him so that he is safe and the other feels that if I ban him he may go back secretly anyway.

Would I be better letting him do some things that I feel uncomfortable with but helping him to develop his own sense of risk/danger? Perhaps limiting where he can go, what he can do but letting him do some of the 'dangerous' stuff?

He is a boisterous boy. In the old days boys used to climb trees, vanish into the woods, climb and jump about. I think we have become a little cautious in the modern world and cosseted out children a bit too much. On the other hand, I would hate him to have an accident. What would you do?

grin

Thu, May 01 2008, 9:33 am

IMO he shouldn't be so far away that he couldn't get necessary help in case of an accident, r"l. I think that's something he should be able to understand also. There must be trees to climb that are near enough to people's houses, no?

↑ SharonaB

Thu, May 01 2008, 1:53 pm

[quote There must be trees to climb that are near enough to people's houses, no?[/quote]

Yes, but the point I am trying to get across is that irrespective of where he goes, he is doing stuff that could result in an accident. (He is with a friend so even if he was not close to home, someone could raise the alarm).

Do I act like a protective Jewish mother stereotype and say not to do dangerous things (perhaps resulting in him stopping; or maybe resulting in him doing them without telling me...) or do I trust him and allow him so that he develops an awareness for himself of what is dangerous and what is not...

I guess the core of what I am saying is, how do kids develop common sense around their own safety - is it by listening to their parents advice or by trial and error themselves...?