Late to School | Imamother

TzenaRena ↓

Fri, Sep 16 2005, 7:40 am

My eight year old has been late too many times already, in this new school year. He is now trying harder to get up on time, get dressed and ready quickly. But getting up on time is no guarantee to be on time. He has a habit of dawdling and daydreaming, or getting deeply engrossed in anything and forgetting about time.

Then he starts to cry when he realizes that he's going to be late, and his Rebbe will be strict with him.

Today he cracked me up when he said innocently: Write me a bubbe meise! Write that I had an appointment in Boro Park. (we live in CH).

I never cease to be amazed when I see that kids this young have it all figured out...(and know they have me completely wrapped around their finger.)

Anyone with advice about it? (the dawdling and lateness).

imaamy

Fri, Sep 16 2005, 8:01 am

We have the same thing! Our son is 9 and my husband caught him staring at puddles of water on the sink/floor instead of brushing his teeth this morning. We tell them 5 min til breakfast is over and take it away if they aren't done. They are to get dressed before coming down for breakfast. We get as much ready ahead of time but mornings are still tough. Do you lay out clothes, serve simple breakfast, etc? Maybe even have to set a timer to remind him of how much time he has.

jewgal84 ↓

Fri, Sep 16 2005, 8:07 am

How's his bedtime? Lots of kids react in the morning due to previous nights!

My aunt is very strict about being late to school- she wakes her kids up at a certain time and tells them that by this time ie 7:45 the car is leaving if you're ready or not ( or if he walks, you tell him he must be out at a certain time) At 8 a kid is old enough to be responsible. Usually her kids will be on time, but she had a "dawdler" as well. And guess what it came a certain time, that he had to leave the house bc they had busses, she took her kid with pjs on (cloths in a bag) walked him out the door and brought him on the bus. Did he dawdle after that...

Kids have to be responsible for their own timing, lazy, slow or not. If he's old enough to figure out he can maybe make up an excuse for being late, he can prevent himself from being lazy.

Good luck!

↑ jewgal84 ↓

Fri, Sep 16 2005, 9:38 am

Kids learn from their own mistakes!

It's the same method as "love and logic" as mentioned in my previous post under toddlers: how many tantrums a day..

You forwarn them and give them their own choices. At a particular time, the kid has to leave, weather he is ready or not, it's his choice. When the time comes, he may be ready or not, you tell him the time is here you must go, he'll complain and say he's not ready, so you say, I'm sorry it was your choice "mammy" gave you enough time to make your own decision and now it's my turn to choose, you're going to school.

You can help him out and say you can either go to school all grumpy and upset bc you chose to not be ready on time or you can take ie a bag of cereal with you and eat your breakfast during your ride.

The key is -you can't give in bc you left it up to him to make his own choices!

The next day will come and you'll remind of the previous day's scenario, this time when you give him his particular time he has to be out, you'll remind him that it's his own choice and that you trust his decision of weather or not he'll be ready bc you wouldnt like doing what you've done the previous day (him not being ready and whining).

Quote:

( I know I sound like a WIMP, and I probably am.)

It won't be easy as you've said it's a habit of his and you haven't tried out this method b4, it may not work the 1st time bc he may know his mommys a whimp ( Wink

<- you said it not me!!) And you may give in to him but you have to put your feet down and show him who's boss!

Good Luck!!

raizy ↓

Sat, Sep 17 2005, 9:20 pm

I know I am going off topic but in my house their is no such a thing as staying home from school. I tell my kids I dont care how but you are going to school today . even if it means in p.j. and clothing in a bag. b"h I never had to resort to that threat yet.

I see to many mothers who let the kids stay home from school bc the poor darling doesnt want to go to school.or the poor darling missed her bus. I dont know what this world is coming too....

↑ raizy ↓

Sat, Sep 17 2005, 9:21 pm

↑ TzenaRena ↓

Sat, Sep 17 2005, 10:30 pm

jewgal84 wrote:

How's his bedtime? Lots of kids react in the morning due to previous nights!

How right you are! My son "dawdles" when getting to bed as well! Sometimes I can put him to bed, and an hour later realize that he never went..... It does take about a week or two at the beginning of the year to adjust from the relaxed summer schedule.

raizy wrote:

I see to many mothers who let the kids stay home from school bc the poor darling doesnt want to go to school.or the poor darling missed her bus. I dont know what this world is coming too....

It really is a problem when the school is not around the corner, if my daughter misses her bus it's a bigger problem. It has happened that she had to stay home because noone could take her. B'H she rarely does that, she is usually out about fifteen minutes earlier than she has to be.

But last year she had a tough teacher, and she somehow woke up with a headache very often... that disappeared later in the day, after she got to stay home.

elisecohen ↓

Sun, Sep 18 2005, 7:05 am

Try what we do with developmentally delayed or autistic kids. Make a scheduling panel with little cards showing what needs to be done in order--one card for getting up, one for modeh ani, one for negel vasser, one for getting dressed, one for brushing teeth and brushing hair, one for breakfast, one for packing the backpack, one for putting on the jacket, and one for reading/playing of they're ready on time (obviously, make your set to suit your child's needs). Use stick on velcro to attach them to a sheet of cardboard or plastic or to the wall, with a little box or bag at the bottom. When they finish each step, they put that card in the box and go on to the next step.

This is really therapeutic and really does help them see that the set of tasks is coherent, finite, and important. It helps them stay on track, feel they're accomplishing something, and know what do next. Plus, if you're in the middle of nursing the baby or changing the toddler's diaper (or actually eating your breakfast), you don't have to tell them what to do next, just keep directing them to the scheduling board.

↑ TzenaRena ↓

Sun, Sep 18 2005, 7:45 am

Thanks Elise, it sounds really good. I can't wait to try it!

And lucky, Motzei Shabbos is always a late night in our house too. I need a little recuperation time after Shabbos before I start with cooking and serving again Exclamation

for Melave Malka, noone wants to eat Shabbos leftovers, my "bosses" say it's gotta be fresh and milchig too, so the required waiting time has to have passed etc..

But it's also a special time, we watch a video of the Rebbe, everyone listens to a shiur Chassidus on the radio and finishes any chazarah they have to for tests the next day.

Then getting up on time becomes a feat the next morning.

carrot

Sun, Sep 18 2005, 10:00 am

SaraYehudis wrote:

raizy wrote:

I see to many mothers who let the kids stay home from school bc the poor darling doesnt want to go to school.or the poor darling missed her bus. I dont know what this world is coming too....

I know a family that lives far from the school, impossible to walk. there was one kid who kept missing the bus. the mother told him that next time he misses the bus, he must pay for a taxi out of his own money. that happened a few times then he changed his habits.

obviously you can only do this if it is safe, the kid is old enough, etc.

stem

Sun, Sep 18 2005, 10:03 am

I think Love and Logic would say to make the kid pay the parents for the extra ride, as if they are a taxi. If they can't pay, they should do chores to pay off their "debt". Or, alternatively, make the kid have to stay home, and pay for a babysitter while he's home.

↑ elisecohen

Sun, Sep 18 2005, 1:30 pm

I should add--if you want graphics we use (they're called PECS) for the scheduling systems, try this weblink www.dotolearn.com It's free to print off the PECS symbols in any size.

It's great for the younger kids. It's not a Jewish site so they don't have ones for things like negel vasser but they do for all the other kinds of everyday things.

↑ Purple Hug Bunny

Sun, Sep 18 2005, 6:03 pm

LOL Elise ,I checked out the link.. it reminds me of what I used to make. I made for alot of speech therapists, boards for their students.. this is made with boardmaker right??
I looooved making them. but I would play around with it alot, add pictures, it was fun.