LinkedIn Ladies & Men

amother

↑ Mocha ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 7:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

As a yeshivish lady how do you handle using LI properly to generate contacts but not going out and commenting in that free (dare I say flirty) way.

I just make connection requests and add a messge about why I wantnto connect if needed. Why comment and chat?

amother

↑ Mocha ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 7:57 am

amother [ Canary ] wrote:

I go through it on his phone for interest and entertainment sake. He likes to show me posts.

I must have very boring connections! Very Happy

I don't think I've ever seen anything entertaining there. It's all technical stuff and people talking about jobs, their training, and news relevant to my field (which happens to be interesting, but usually not entertaining).

allthingsblue

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 8:07 am

amother [ Mocha ] wrote:

I just make connection requests and add a messge about why I wantnto connect if needed. Why comment and chat?

When your connections post something on LinkedIn, you can like and comment on it. I see it all the time. And op I agree with you. If this is not something you’d say in person to this man or woman, don’t say it on linked in!

amother

↑ Canary

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 8:42 am

amother [ Mocha ] wrote:

I must have very boring connections! Very Happy

My husband likes to share and discuss posts with me and I don't mind going through it with him.

essie14

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 8:52 am

amother [ Mocha ] wrote:

I must have very boring connections! Very Happy

Me too!
I have no idea what OP is talking about at all.

amother

Lily

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 9:07 am

I agree this is a big problem and makes me very uncomfortable with LI. It kinda feels like a mixed kiddush....A frum woman gushing in a comment about a man's talents, things like, You were amazing!! feels wrong. I cant imgaine that conversation happening in real life.

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 9:22 am

I signed up to LinkedIn and within a few days I had requests from guys like my husbands cousin and other men ‐ none who worked in a field related to my business. I decided I'd rather delete my account. HKB"H is able to help me without LinkedIn.

amother

↑ Mocha

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 9:23 am

allthingsblue wrote:

I know it's something you can do, but I was specifically responding to OP asking "how do you handle using LI properly to generate contacts but not going out and commenting in that free (dare I say flirty) way."

You can just connect with people without commenting on posts at all.

amother

DarkYellow

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 9:26 am

I feel like the difference people are talking about has a lot to do with how sheltered you live.
I have linked in and have never even heard of such conversations nor any flirting. People post things or job related things come up. Thats it. How boring.
I feel like for some the bsnter back snd forth is exactly how they interact with people of the opposite gender in life. But for people eho are more sheltered, the same banter just feels wrong.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 11:34 am

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

I work in non Jewish company with men and women

I’m often shocked by the kibbitzing and banter between genders within the comments onLI. It’s respectful but I have a hard time believing they speak to the opposite frum gender this way in real life.

Yup that is exactly my point. I was once commenting on a man's post then went back n forth few times and afterwards I was blushing I would never talk to this man who I dont even know at all like this in real life. But it is so easy to get carried away and all in the name of parnassah

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 11:37 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

There's a lot of discussion, not on LI, about using pictures or not. A lot of women will do caricatures.
But fully made up? Maybe that's up for interpretation. I think the ones I've seen are basically made up but yeah, of course looking good. Just like they would at a business meeting, nothing more.

Not talking about profile pictures. Talking about a post where it is a picture of a nice frum looking lady sitting at her desk or whatever she is doing and she's posting about it.

She gets alot of comments and engagement in the post that may turn into prospective clients.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 11:38 am

amother [ Mocha ] wrote:

I'm on LinkedIn just to have a presence for my career and for networking, but relatively new to it. Honestly, I felt very uncomfortable adding men, especially men in my community, as connections but it seems it's a normal thing. I've never spent time looking at feeds and commenting. Is this just for fun or is there a purpose to being more active on LinkedIn?

Client/ service based businesses can get many clients through LI.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 11:40 am

amother [ Lily ] wrote:

YES YES YES!!! mixed kiddush sums it up perfectly!

amother

Butterscotch

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 11:41 am

I have no idea what you're talking about, OP, but other people's behavior is not your problem. Just make sure your own communications are businesslike and professional and your contacts will get the message.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 11:42 am

amother [ DarkYellow ] wrote:

You have a point. I disagree as a rule since I know some people in real life who would never speak to the opposite gender in that chummy way in real life.

zaq

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 1:28 pm

amother [ Lily ] wrote:

A frum woman gushing in a comment about a man's talents, things like, You were amazing!! feels wrong. I cant imgaine that conversation happening in real life.

It's also a highly unprofessional form of expression and makes that woman sound like a fourteen-year-old.

amother

Chocolate ↓

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 3:39 pm

I dont know how linked in became I site to connect to people you dont know. I only add people who I have actually WORKED with, or for, went to college with, etc. I dont even add my siblings. Its professional contacts.

I do notice women on linked in with titles "mommy at home". like aren't there enough social media sites to be on. If I cant ask you to serve as a reference for a job, you're not a connection for me.

Mommyg8

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 4:01 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am on LI for work and I sometimes cringe from the ladies and men interacting/ commenting on eo posts.
As a yeshivish lady how do you handle using LI properly to generate contacts but not going out and commenting in that free (dare I say flirty) way.

If you disagree with my sensitivity no problem! Please do not knock it I am asking opinions and advise from imas who share this sensitivity.

TYIA

Ok, OP, I'll say it - any interaction between a man and a woman is not ideal from a yeshivish perspective. There are many people - men and women - who share your sensitivity. The men stay in kollel/go into chinuch and the woman become teachers/work only in a school setting with women and girls.

Once you go out into the business world - and I'm talking about either gender - interactions are inevitable. Whether on linked in or IRL.

Once you put yourself out there, so to speak, you lose your right to talk about "your sensitivity". I'm sorry but it's just going to be inevitable.

Signed, someone who's DH is not in kollel/chinuch and neither am I.

amother

Maroon

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 4:35 pm

I'm active on LI and am always very careful not to become too chummy with my connections. I don't have a profile picture of myself. If I compliment someone, it'll be about their work and not them personally; afaik that's ok.

However, a key part to marketing yourself on LI (if you're a business owner, freelancer, or do sales) is to connect with as many people within your target audience. So when I first started out I'd fire off around 20 connection requests daily, mostly to men and women from within my community.

Twice, I bumped into creeps.

The first one was like "Hey, thanks for connecting!"
Me: Likewise. If you're ever in need of xyz service, feel free to reach out!
Guy: Sure. Can I see a picture of you? I like to know who I'm dealing with.
Me, thinking: Er, what?
Me: I didn't have my professional headshot done yet.
Guy: It doesn't have to be professional, can be a selfie.
At this point I decided to ignore him.
2 mins later he texts: Or from a wedding.
2 mins later: whatever you have is fine.
2 mins later: hello?

(I blocked him after that.)

The other guy just messaged me a long message how he loves my posts. With heart eye emojis. Okay...

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Feb 04 2022, 4:48 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

This seems like really black and white thinking to me.
It’s wonderful for people that are able to stay in such sheltered environments, and I’ll admit I’m grateful to be one of them.
But if a person has to be out there in the business world, they can and should maintain their standards. I’ve watched people do it. It takes constant evaluating and adjusting, and sometimes even limiting their opportunities business wise.
OP by all means keep questioning, keep reevaluating, keep being mechazek yourself.
Hashem should give you the koach and sechel you need to navigate this challenge.