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Forum
-> Working Women
-> Teachers' Room
amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:11 am
What do you consider a nice tip?
I can’t afford a lot, I wanted to give $20 each but my DH says that’s too little. I much rather give nice chocolate with sweet thank you letter, but I feel everyone wants money.
What should I give?
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keym
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:13 am
This is for sure community specific.
But give what you can afford.
End of story.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:14 am
Brooklyn NY (Flatbush area)
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keym
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:26 am
I'll say this under my screen name.
Both my husband and I work in "seasonal tipping jobs" in Lakewood.
Not going to say more to out myself.
But every Chanuka we get ranging from a few donuts and coffee, $5 gift cards all the way to $180 check.
I really, really, really don't remember who gave what. And it really doesn't change anything.
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tigerwife
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:28 am
The class mother usually arranges a chanuka gift. I don’t think it’s more than a few dollars a family.
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jellybelly94
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:30 am
I'd say for a morah forsure 20 is good. Rebbeim get a little trickier cuz it has to be more choshuv so idk...
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amother
Hotpink
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:41 am
My dh is a rebbe in NY. Some kids give nothing, some give 18, 25 36 on the other end some give 180 weve even gotten 250 before but the most common amounts are 75 and 100. Dh definitely remembers who gave him the very large amounts but does not remember more than that. Give what you can and if you can't give anything - Don't!
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amother
Oak
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:29 am
Just give what you can afford. I'm in Flatbush as well and I don't allow myself to feel pressured to give more than that. I do make sure to write a long, detailed card with specific examples of things we are grateful for
Last year I gave the rebbeim $18 because we were really not doing well financially after covid. This year I will give $25. For the English teachers and assistants, the entire class chips in. Last year I contributed $10, this year I will contribute $15.
The school also asks us to contribute for the secretaries but I ignore that.
I think one school is also going to ask us to contribute for the preschool director.
I also have a lot of therapists to give (2 OT's and 2 PT's).
Also, we started using bus transportation this year, and I may want to give the bus drivers a small amount as well.
It's a lot and it really adds up. My husband and I do feel that it is important to show appreciation, so we give what we can afford, even if it's a small amount, with a card.
I will say that I work in a field where I get chanukah tips, and anything is appreciated. Nothing is too "small." I absolutely do not keep track of who gives what, and do not have any hard feelings against those who do not give.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 2:33 pm
Thank you for the replies!
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amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:02 pm
Any morahs like to chip in their thoughts?
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amother
Rainbow
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Any morahs like to chip in their thoughts? |
I used to be a morah and I always felt so bad for the mothers if they felt pressured to give and they couldn’t afford. But some people rely on it I guess
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amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:56 pm
Not a morah but in a similar type position, and to me the card that comes along with the cash/gift is more important than anything. I am not the type to keep cards and notes but I have 2 beautiful poems someone wrote to me last year that almost made me cry.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:59 pm
And yes, I LOVE CARDS!!!
you can send me a card without money and I'll be thrilled.
Best types of cards are the personal ones.
(I'm the morah who rants abt this on every imamother thread.)
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amother
NeonPink
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 10:59 pm
I was a morah for more than ten years. And honestly I don’t remember who gave what amount unless it was way more than everyone 50$ One kid. I do remember the one time I got a useless bicycle shaped holder filled with a few candies for Purim and a nice note how she appreciated me. It was probably from the dollar store but I was so grateful and it’s about 10-11 years ago. Give what is comfortable for you. Just remember to express appreciation!!
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amother
Mintgreen
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:00 pm
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote: | I'm an English teacher, so not quite a morah.
To be perfectly honest (and I know some teachers won't like this answer), I really am not affected by the gifts. I get anything from nothing to tchotchkes and chocolate, to monetary gifts and gift cards.
My dh is the one who gets excited by my gifts!
Of course I appreciate them, and actually I think the most memorable gift I've gotten was a gift card for jewelry. I'm not a big jewelry person, but I felt so good wearing a new piece of jewelry (first since I got married 10+ yrs ago).
I love your kids regardless, or I am having a challeging year with your kids regardless.
The worst feeling is When THE MOST challenging parents (note- I said PARENTS, not kids) give the biggest gift and you feel like they're trying to buy your favor. |
I am kind of shocked you say this. I do give a nicer gift to the teacher that has my most challenging child...to show her I appreciate the effort she is putting into him. I know she has to work harder for him than she would with a typical, well behaved child, and I feel like this is a way to express my appreciation for the extra work she is putting in.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:03 pm
amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote: | I am kind of shocked you say this. I do give a nicer gift to the teacher that has my most challenging child...to show her I appreciate the effort she is putting into him. I know she has to work harder for him than she would with a typical, well behaved child, and I feel like this is a way to express my appreciation for the extra work she is putting in. |
She specifically said most difficult parent not kid
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amother
Apricot
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:05 pm
amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote: | I am kind of shocked you say this. I do give a nicer gift to the teacher that has my most challenging child...to show her I appreciate the effort she is putting into him. I know she has to work harder for him than she would with a typical, well behaved child, and I feel like this is a way to express my appreciation for the extra work she is putting in. |
She literally said a difficult parent, NOT a difficult kid
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amother
DarkRed
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Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:19 pm
What would you say is typical to give morah in Lakewood?
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