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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
Mevater
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 Tue, Mar 04 2008, 11:39 am
What's your opinion from what you've gotten and given?
I'm asking about wedding gift (money) for one couple staying for the meal.
Does the fanciness of the place have an effect on what you give? Does what those people gave you....
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rikismom
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 11:44 am
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$75 I think is average. Sometimes when u buy a gift u can get away cheaper. U buy something nice and it looks presentable and doesn't have to cost $75.
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Lani22
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 11:49 am
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I recieved btw $180- $250 a couple.
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Mevater
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 11:53 am
| Lani22 wrote: | | I recieved btw $180- $250 a couple. | I'm familiar with fancy crowds and that is very high for the people I know, unless closely related- aunts and uncles.
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Lani22
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 11:56 am
| letsbehonest wrote: | | Lani22 wrote: | | I recieved btw $180- $250 a couple. | I'm familiar with fancy crowds and that is very high for the people I know, unless closely related- aunts and uncles. |
ok. that was not my experience.
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ss321
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 11:57 am
| letsbehonest wrote: | | Lani22 wrote: | | I recieved btw $180- $250 a couple. | I'm familiar with fancy crowds and that is very high for the people I know, unless closely related- aunts and uncles. |
that seems like a high estimate to me too. I would say 100+. Anything under 100 (well, anything that LOOKED like it was worth a great deal less than 100), didnt seem to be the norm.
Now granted, if you go into a nice store like the yellow door and get some mackenzie childs pitcher for 72 dollars and its all niceley wrapped and everything, im sure it would be greatly appreciated.
but Honestly, when I got these clearance no return final sale items (like glass bowls with a silver flower painted on the side, picture frame in 10 year old box) from grand sterling that were selling for 20-40 dollars, from people who can clearly afford much more (based on lavish lifestyle choices), it was just strange, and almost insulting....
just my $.02
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his_sweety
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 12:07 pm
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I just got married, it varries greatly, I received a bunch of $18 & $36 and then also tons of $100-200 all the way up to $3000 from family members
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red sea
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 1:37 pm
I think the average minimum goes for between 100 & 150 depending on which circle. But thats real brooklyn thinking "average minimum" as in you must give the average as your minimum 
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YALT
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 1:43 pm
it depends greatly on the community (of which there are many in Brooklyn), lifestyle, relationship, affordability, and other things.
I also got checks from people of all types, many $18-$36, $200-$250, and a $3600 check.
I even got a check for $5 (from someone I expected a bit more).
Some of the lower valued checks were from richer people, some of the higher ones, from people who can barely pay for a night at the restaurant.
Each person has their own cheshbonos.
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imokay
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 4:38 pm
I wud also say it depends on your stage of life. for a newly wed couple, ppl expect less than for for a more setablished couple.
it also depends on your relationship with the newlyweds. a closer connection, and more is expected. less of a connection, and less is expected.
it also depends on what they gave you...
I wud say the low average is 100 and ppl will of course vary on either side of that number.
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lamplighter
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 4:39 pm
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WOW, I guess my crowd is not average.
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chocolate moose
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 5:24 pm
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Lubavitchers don't tend to give gifts. I mean, you can't generalize, but that's what I see. Certainly not extravagent ones.
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Mevater
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 8:42 pm
| brooklyn wrote: | | 150 minimum. | So suppose in a month like June with socially active people going to three weddings a week, they give that to each couple?
Nice that they can.
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mother48
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 9:04 pm
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wow!! sure wish I was part of your community when I got married!! I thought 36-72 was the norm.
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Atali
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 10:20 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | | Lubavitchers don't tend to give gifts. I mean, you can't generalize, but that's what I see. Certainly not extravagent ones. |
People do give gifts, but not usually in that price range
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amother
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 10:42 pm
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The average is about $100 to $175 for neighbors all the way up to $250 for a neighbor. And yes it is crazy in the summer my parents can be giving out more than $1,000 a month on neighbor's children wedding gifts. But we live in a high society world what can we do.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 05 2008, 5:54 am
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I agree about the exorbitant cost. It's always a question I've always had. suppose a friend invites you to a Shabbos meal, let's say you are a couple with two grown children. Maybe you give them a bottle of wine, flowers, or some cute home item, just a token to say Good shabbos or a thank you. You don't walk in empty handed. Why is it that when we get invited to a wedding, which they need to make and have people there to enjoy and share the simcha, we feel that we need to pay so much more. Where I come from, close friends and neighbours make sheva brachos in a nice restaurant. This already costs about $100-125 per couple. Then to give a gift too. And, Baruch Hashem, we are in the Parsha with a lot of weddings. Even two a month can cost a lot of money. Some of these weddings are lavish affairs hosted by really wealthy people who really don't need the money. Even $200 would be a drop in the bucket and couldn't hope to repay even a fraction of the cost. Some of us work for a salary and work really hard. I really want to go to these simchas and many are people I've known for many years. But the cost is really high. Anyone else been to such situations?
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VogueChic
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Sun, Mar 09 2008, 8:29 pm
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it depends on the crowd, I say $180 per couple is the norm some ppl give $50 a person others give $72 I guess it depends where they are coming from but regular I'd say is $180 a couple. I know some people have wedding every other night so it may be tight to give that much but for someone that goes to 1-2 wedding a month and have a stable income I'd say $180.
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koolmother
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Sun, Mar 09 2008, 9:01 pm
I decided not to give money but to actually get a gift and something that everyone apreciates and can be used for th enext 30 years is silver. and it never looses its value and you can get something for $ 30 or for $500 its up to you to decide how much you want to spend and how close you feel to the couple.
I get a salt holder that they can use on shabbos and they start from about $30. so far the most I spent was $70 on a close cousin and silver has a value so its always nice and also I think every time they use it they will think oh so and so gave it to us as opposed to money it just comes and goes and in 10 years they will never say oh this we bought with so and so's wedding money gift.
thats why I decided to stick with a gift
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