wwyd - kids playing with matches

suomynona ↓

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 1:45 pm

I was outside this afternoon with my kids. I passed by 4 kids who were looking at me with very guilty looks. There were 3 boys and 1 girl and my guess is that they weren't older than 7.
I looked more closely and they were playing with matches. There was a whole pile of used matches and they had one lit and then they lit a small branch. I did'nt know what to do. I don't communicate well in Hebrew. I'm not one of those tough ladies. I couldn't go over to them and leave my kids. They were right behind a 2 foot wall. Even if I would have, I don't know where they had the matches - for all I know it was in one of the boys' pockets.
So anyway, all I did was stare them down. They were getting really nervous from me being there and eventually they moved behind the building where I couldn't see them.
I felt like I should have done something but I don't know what.

e1234

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 1:49 pm

probably nothing you can do...
I go to a parenting class and last week she mentioned how boys hear have this thing with playing with fire... and you have to give your kid an outlet if he's the type so he knows his limits... scary.. but if she was talking about our own - imagine stopping other kids...

sometimes it's scary what I'll find out next is normal that goes on here...

louche

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 2:42 pm

Have you any idea who any of their parents are? If so, let them know what you saw. Even if it's only 1 kid's parents, at least someone in the group would know.

↑ suomynona ↓

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 2:49 pm

I haven't a clue.
I assume some of them live in the apartment building they were in front of but I don't know anyone that lives there and there are lots of apartments in each building.

GAMZu ↓

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 2:54 pm

If they were outside, and the only flammable thing was the branch.... and I think they're old enough to understand what they're doing... so my conclusion is let them experiment.

shoy18 ↓

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 5:26 pm

GAMZu wrote:

If they were outside, and the only flammable thing was the branch.... and I think they're old enough to understand what they're doing... so my conclusion is let them experiment.

please tell me your joking! you know that matches are really dangerous and they arent toys. you would let your 9 year old experiment with matches and branches???

gryp

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 7:01 pm

From the (comparatively) short time I spent in Israel I saw so many kids playing with matches, I wasn't the least bit surprised by your story, suo.

On one occasion, kids were setting a fire in my building's elevator- my friend saw that one and told them off. On another (in a different city) they were lighting matches and throwing them into a dumpster. I saw it other times as well.

I told the kids off who were throwing lit matches into a dumpster, and they laughed at me. Rolling Eyes

Oh well. It wouldn't quite be my loss if the dumpster would have caught on fire or the kids would have gotten hurt, but those who are responsible for these kids and the building next to the dumpster.

I gathered from these incidents, as well as other examples, that the Israeli mentality is to live on the edge of danger and survival is based on risk-taking. Hey, I can't stick around all day to make sure kids aren't throwing rocks at each other or setting fires, so I just took my American mentality somewhere else. What

↑ GAMZu ↓

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 7:11 pm

shoy18 wrote:

GAMZu wrote:

If they were outside, and the only flammable thing was the branch.... and I think they're old enough to understand what they're doing... so my conclusion is let them experiment.

please tell me your joking! you know that matches are really dangerous and they arent toys. you would let your 9 year old experiment with matches and branches???

I wasn't joking.
I mean, if they do it at home, like I did when I was 4, that's a totally different story.
As long as they are taught safety precautions like "Stop, drop and roll," what's the big deal?
I don't think I'd stop my 9 year old from playing with matches. I don't want my kids to live in bubble wrap. Do you know how important it is to learn about properties of fire?
As long as they don't use any flammable chemicals, I would even encourage them! And if they make fire from flint, that's even better.
Totally serious. Smile

↑ suomynona ↓

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 4:57 am

GAMZu wrote:

If they were outside, and the only flammable thing was the branch.... and I think they're old enough to understand what they're doing... so my conclusion is let them experiment.

I think there was also a burnt paper there if I remember correctly.

GR wrote:

I gathered from these incidents, as well as other examples, that the Israeli mentality is to live on the edge of danger and survival is based on risk-taking. Hey, I can't stick around all day to make sure kids aren't throwing rocks at each other or setting fires, so I just took my American mentality somewhere else.

I know exactly what you mean. I can't get over on lag b'omer when I see kids by themselves right next to the bonfires.

Lechatchila Ariber

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 6:00 am

When I was a little girl I was told that if you play with fire you will wet your bed while you are sleeping at night! shock

......
....umm....ok..well at least it kept me away from the matches as gullible as I was..

greenfire ↓

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 8:39 am

wow

I cannot believe you didn't go over and stop them immediately ... fire is one of the most painful torturess deaths - things burn quick - how could you take that chance - even if seemingly not so serious in this situation in the next one it can be ?!?!?!?!?!

Ruchel

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 8:42 am

EstiS wrote:

When I was a little girl I was told that if you play with fire you will wet your bed while you are sleeping at night! shock

......
....umm....ok..well at least it kept me away from the matches as gullible as I was..

same here, but it didn't prevent me from doing stuff with matches. Until one day my friend who loooove to play with matches set fire to his apartment, and the parents barely managed to stop the fire before it became bad.

↑ suomynona ↓

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 11:14 am

greenfire wrote:

wow

so you're saying I should have left my infant and 2 year old (who was not in the stroller) to go after them?

↑ GAMZu ↓

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 12:13 pm

That's why I advocate SUPPORTING the children in their experiments, so they shouldn't have to hide and be so afraid of being found out that they would create a dangerous situation.

Ima'la ↓

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 3:37 pm

(Parenthetical comment: I'm finding the responses of American posters to not be fully in touch with the mentality here. No offense meant - just pointing out that we are talking about a major culture gap. Not between you and suo, but between you and those kids, with suo somewhere in between, and also more aware of the gap btw her and those kids.)

Actually, I was (pleasantly?) surprised that they looked guilty. I usually don't say anything because I don't think they'll listen, although as my Hebrew and attitude have been becoming more Israelified, I am also becoming somewhat more outspoken. When I was closer to being in your shoes, glaring is definitely the furthest I would have gone. MAYBE I'd say something to the parents if I know them - but I suspect you probably don't. DH & I (well, DH took the job that time) did speak up when our upstairs neighbors' kids were playing with matches - and burnt matches and *still burning* paper were landing on our mirpesset. shock

↑ Ima'la

Thu, Feb 28 2008, 3:40 pm

gamzu, my reaction was like justanothermother's...But I'm assuming you'd encourage experimentation with supervision? After being given information and guidance? B/c that's NOT what we're talking about here. "Stop, drop, roll" does not mean the "SDRer" didn't sustain VERY painful burns!