Behavior at school

↑ timeout ↓

Tue, Jan 15 2008, 3:20 pm

Update: We started behavior therapy with my son B'H so far so good!

P.S. In my sons class since there's only 15 boys it has nothing to do with the size.

↑ happymom

Tue, Jan 15 2008, 7:07 pm

I was refering to the post about 30 boys in the class..

↑ timeout ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 9:53 pm

I was just clarifying my situation

↑ tzatza ↓

Thu, Jan 17 2008, 9:59 am

timeout wrote:

Update: We started behavior therapy with my son B'H so far so good!

P.S. In my sons class since there's only 15 boys it has nothing to do with the size.

Timeout, how did you know he needed this type of therapy in the first place? And what does this therapy involve? Thank you for info.

↑ timeout ↓

Thu, Jan 17 2008, 5:09 pm

We didn't know anything my DH comes from a chassidishe backround where all the kids are a little boisterous, my son though is in a litvishe school double curriculum lots of sitting and learning very hard for any 6 yo.

They explained to me even though he is B'H extremely bright his tendency to do things without thinking leads to stress in the classroom. B'H we have a Rebbe who wants to work with us which is not always the case and it does help tghat we are not blaming the school saying it's all in there head, we want to work together.

The therapy is geared differently for each child with individual modification that's started by the person observing your child at school and also sometimes at home and speaking to all those involved for input including you.

Hope this helps

↑ tzatza ↓

Fri, Jan 18 2008, 8:54 am

if you don't mind me asking, do you have to pay the therapist? And would you recommend him/her?

↑ timeout ↓

Sun, Jan 20 2008, 9:38 am

u definitely have to pay since it's private, and I would recommend our therapist he worked very well with the school which helped me tunz.

↑ tzatza ↓

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 9:38 am

I would definetely appreciate a referral info. Thanks a bunch.

↑ timeout ↓

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 1:13 pm

His name is Yitzi Goldberg Rockaway Phone #is (516)376-6572 u will probably have to leave a messge.

G'luck

Let me know how things are going believe me you're not alone I've been handling this for .............. forever with my son, I'H this will do the trick.

↑ tzatza

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 2:41 pm

Just out of curiosity, have you ever tried setting up a reward system for your child in such situation?
DS Rebbe starts his day with 10 points for each boy. As the day goes by, he can take away points for misbehavior (I.e. getting up in the middle of the class and disturbing others). Ds used to get 3, 4 points left at the end of the day (but, sometimes, he gets 6 and even 9). Rebbi advised us to set up a reward system in order to encourage more points and, thus, better behavior. Do you think it can work out?

↑ timeout

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 7:54 pm

It can definitely work, and it's a very good way to keep up with the Rebbe's behavioral system he's set up in school.

It's very important to be very structured at home and show your child what behaviors are allowed and not allowed the more times you do things the more it becomes integrated.

ffbmom

Fri, Feb 01 2008, 7:42 am

[quote=

Quote:

"tzatza"]BH, DS (1st grade) is a very bright boy. However, his teachers told us he has a habit of getting up in the middle of the class and talking to other children. Teacher insists we do behavioral testing, but I am very weary of it. Anyone had to deal with it?

[/quote

Though this is an old post, I think there are some important questions to ask. Firstly, what is the teaching style used during the course of the day? Are the kids required to sit at their desks, in rows, all day? What is the classroom like? Are there toys and manipulatives for kids to use? Do at least some of the activities require group work and ability to move around? Teachers need to be teaching to all learning styles before they even mention testing behaviourally.

2manyhats

Sat, Feb 16 2008, 9:34 pm

Quote:

I only joined this site a few days ago, and happened to read your post.
So excuse the lateness of my reply. But I have to say, it is comforting to know that 'school behaviour'- or lack thereof - is not specific to location and school. I am a mom of an 8 year old boy, in Grade 3, with 29 kids in his class, and have been having this problem since my son was in Grade 1. As he got older, it intensified. I've never wanted to take too seriously all the teachers' 'suggestions' of getting my son tested. But he is now in Grade 3 and the teachers are still nudging me to get him tested.

For a while at home things were also very tense, probably moreso than at school. I mean his behaviour was off the mark at home as well, that I could see what the teachers' were saying. So, I relented to get him tested. I even started to take him to a psychologist. But the truth of the matter is that no matter what the school is saying - most of their suggestions are for their own comfort of having an orderly class - or what the psychologist is saying - he only sees my son once a week so what kind of picture can he possibly get - I think this is something that he will just have to outgrow. Our children are not born adults, they have a lot to adjust to and it is the teachers and other authority figures that are impatient for that to happen.

Granted that sometimes there is some truth to what teachers say, in some instances, but ADD/ADHD, is way too overdiagnosed. It is the fallback diagnoses for any child that does not fit into the mold of an 'eager-to-learn, easygoing student'. If you think about it, our children are young. Schools especially, expect so much of them that it is almost unfair.

B"H, it is the 2nd half of the school year, and my son has made some amazing strides in school. Socially, he is still having difficulty but I know that part is age-related. I'm not going to read too much into that.
Because of the mountain-out-of-a-molehill that the school made out of all this, I was looking at my son as if he really did have something wrong that he wasn't meeting up to. But the minute I stepped back and began to really enjoy all the Ma'alos that the has, and the fact that hs is only a kid, I realized that I was sinking into what the school was suggesting.

I guess that, in a nutshell, I'm saying that you are the mother and you know best what would benefit your child. All anybody can give you is advice or similar experiences that they have gone through, but at the end of the day do what the Gemara says 'Chanoch l'naar Al Pi Darko'. That is the best advice of all. I'm pretty sure they didn't have such a thing of ADD/ADHD back then.

Good Luck