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-> Working Women
-> Teachers' Room
amother
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 Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:13 am
| amother [ Burgundy ] wrote: | | If it’s a sheltered type of BY school, there ain’t no guidance counselor |
Not necessarily.
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amother
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:25 am
| amother [ Indigo ] wrote: | I didn't say the counselor should be telling her about s*x. I said the counselor should be helping her with her need for attention or social cues. Clearly she needs help with one of those, or both. Just telling her "talk to your mother" won't help her with either. She will just continue to say inappropriate things to get attention. At least this time it was private and not done in front of her peers--which would have negative ramifications on her social standing. Next time it might not be.
I can think of girls who acted like this when I was in school. Unfortunately the counseling situation was a joke back then and they struggled socially even after they graduated. Thankfully most schools are more aware now of the need for trained counselors. |
One has nothing to do with the other. It seems like the girl was talking to her teacher on the phone, so that is not so inappropriate. She didn't ask in public. It seems like she has a connection to this teacher. Telling the guidance counselor that a kid could use some help is great. It's always the mother's decision what to tell her child in this regard, unless it is part of biology class or s-x ed.
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trixx
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:37 am
| amother [ Seafoam ] wrote: | | I wanted to hug you, but I was worried it would be seen as a dislike. |
Why would I need a hug for that?
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notshanarishona
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:45 am
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A high schooler is old enough to know that it’s not an appropriate question unless you were her science teacher. I would agree that parents should be the ones having “the talk”
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amother
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:49 am
| amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | | One has nothing to do with the other. It seems like the girl was talking to her teacher on the phone, so that is not so inappropriate. She didn't ask in public. It seems like she has a connection to this teacher. Telling the guidance counselor that a kid could use some help is great. It's always the mother's decision what to tell her child in this regard, unless it is part of biology class or s-x ed. |
I think you need to reread the op.
This really has nothing to do with s*x ed at all. That's the side point. You are getting hung up on that without looking at the context of this interaction.
It is very very strange for a teen, no matter how sheltered, to come up to a teacher and blurt out a question like that. This isn't someone who has been acting like a mentor or mechaneches to her etc.
There is obviously something else going on. Any normal socially aware girl who truly wants to know would ask a friend. Especially in a sheltered environment where she knows there is a layer of secrecy and this a topic that adults won't talk openly about.
It wouldn't be weird if a preschool kid blurted this out. But a high school girl? Very socially off.
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Hatemywig
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 2:45 pm
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Please find out if she comes from a functional home before talking to the mother.
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 4:18 pm
| Hatemywig wrote: | | Please find out if she comes from a functional home before talking to the mother. |
THIS.
My first impression is that she doesn't have a good relationship with her mom, where she can ask questions like this. The teacher obviously has "experience", and is warm and friendly, so the girl felt safe to ask.
She's probably tried to talk to her mom about this before, and got told "You'll find out in your kallah classes."  SO dysfunctional!
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Simcha36
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Sun, Jan 10 2021, 4:57 pm
| notshanarishona wrote: | | A high schooler is old enough to know that it’s not an appropriate question unless you were her science teacher. I would agree that parents should be the ones having “the talk” |
Some kids know more than others about social cues
some mothers more capable and comfortabe
some homes more functional than others.
Find out if its a functional home. If mother is capable to address.
in general I have heard in some BYs:" Kallas learn all they need to know. When youl are a kalla, you will have a one on one kalla teacher"
I dont know how much more the school/ homes would like kids to be aware of.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 13 2021, 1:12 pm
OP...what did u end up doing?
I started teaching 9th gr bio this yr and I was prompted by other bio teacher how to teach and handle questions. I was soo nervous.
So some girls are sheltered and a girl did ask how sperm and egg come together. She really asked innocently and I said to come to me after class as it isnt for class discussion.
At that pt I told her what I had been prompted-- some mothers tell earlier, some wait until they are kallas, so speak to your mother.
Unfortunately her friends decided to educate her instead and I had a couple of students a bit traumatized
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