When does it get easier?! I’m drowning

amother

Linen

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 8:56 pm

I sent my twins from a few weeks old to a very competent Babysitter for a few hours twice a week, who was really like a Bubby to them. This kept my sanity along with taking vitamins such as B complex.
I also found that zantac calms screaming babies and it doesn't enter the blood stream.

hatzlacha

Fox ↓

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 10:13 pm

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

No advise but this thread is causing me slight panic.
Im expecting twins and will not be getting any help.
Family or hired.
No family help cuz of circumstances. No hired help because of my husbands avid refusal for hiring help even thou we can very much afford it. Banging head

Powderblue Amother, please tell your husband that if he doesn't hire or blackmail people to help you, Fox will be getting on a plane and moving in with you for a month or two. And I'm super annoying to have around the house!

But seriously, it is actually not safe for you to take care of newborn multiples on your own. You will get so sleep deprived that you won't be able to care for them properly. Yes, I know. Lots of women have done it. But not necessarily well, and I don't know any who felt they wouldn't have benefited from help.

I don't know what his objections are to hiring assistance, but it's not a luxury, and if he's uncomfortable with having strangers in the house, he'll be a lot more uncomfortable with a wife who's seriously sleep-deprived.

Teomima

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 11:01 pm

It really does get easier. In fact eventually you reach a point where they're almost easier than singletons, because they play together and entertain each other. That's a beautiful stage. There's still twice as many diapers etc, but they start to rely on each other instead of you for every ounce of attention and affection.

Just breathe, wear your babes as much as possible (it really helps), and I guarantee someday you will sleep again. Sleep helps everything seem more manageable.

amother

Azure

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 12:20 am

I’ll reiterate what a few ppl said... schedule schedule schedule! If they are on same schedule makes life sooo much easier .... I’m finding with my twins every stage is it’s own hard ..... because there’s two of them! Yes they are beyond adorable and when they play together there is nothing like it .... but boy do they egg each other on Can't Believe It

It helps to keep telling urself that this stage will pass and it won’t stay like this forever ....( and then the next stage comes and it’s like wait .... did I realy daven for the next stage to come ?? Lol Very Happy

)

Sleepymama

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 12:25 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Zantac was recalled in april. They say it has a cancer causing ingredient

amother

↑ Firebrick

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 5:39 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

I only nursed my twins, no bottles. I weaned them around their second birthday although they def could have nursed longer lol. For me it was easier to nurse them at the same time vs hold them both and feed bottles at the same time. But if it is something that would add stress don't do it. For me bottle feeding them would have been more stressful. You need to do whatever works best for you and your family.

I love nursing my babies. I have bottles on hand until my milk comes in but I generally don’t need it. I would like to try but I’m not sure how it’ll work between crying and burping. Op you survived the first three months. That’s major. I hope it only get easier. We have twins in the family and now I’m having. While it’s hard it keeps on getting easier as they keep on growing. If you made it till here hopefully things starts to be more manageable but boy am I nervous.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:15 am

Thank you all for the posts so far. They give me hope and make me feel human. I feel like people don’t understand how difficult it is.
We barely have dinners most nights. I’m in survival mode the whole day. Switching off between the babies or both babies at the same time. My older kids are getting zero attention bc I’m busy with the babies all day & have nothing left if I have extra time.
Most of you are saying put them on the same schedule but the same schedule is too hectic - they both need to be burped/ held/ fed
It’s too much!
Any other tips to survive?

finprof

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:31 am

I nursed my twins for 15 months. I went back to work when they were 3 months so daycare supplemented with formula. One slept in a swing for 4 months, otherwise she wouldn't sleep (she has a mildly flat head as a result but its symmetric and not enough to need a helmet). Neither of them slept through the night until about 9 months. We don't have the money for a baby nurse or cleaning help so the house was messy. The "older" (4 & 6) kids learned to do their own laundry- it makes it into the drawers but never really gets folded still. We ate lots of pasta and frozen meals (OOT so no takeout). It sucked but we made it through. They are now 2.

DML

Sat, Dec 05 2020, 6:49 pm

Mazel tov. I know you can’t believe it but it will get easier. When they are small it’s hard but by the time they are three it will be more doable. In the meantime, get as much help as you can and just enjoy them. Have lots of nachas and a lot of koach. I have more than one set bli ayin hara so I know what you are going through. Hatzlacha

amother

Tan

Sat, Dec 05 2020, 7:43 pm

OP I totally get u! I checked to see if I wrote the post...only difference is my twins are 4 months old and 1 has really bad acid reflux. I am DRAINED! I cook supper once a week the rest are noodles, pizza, noodle soups, eggs, pancakes...anything quick and ez. I am working on having more cleaning help then I do now since that's the only way to survive at this point. If you dont have twins people do not get how challenging it is in the beginning!!

And to the poster who doesnt plan on hiring help trust me he will want you to hire someone really fast unless he plans on helping out big time!!!

amother

Purple

Mon, Aug 28 2023, 5:48 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

I know this is very old! But just curious if you ended up changing your mind and getting help! I was insistent on not getting help.... Trust me I changed my mind!!
Just curious what you ended up doing and how you managed.