Segula against intermarriage

↑ Rappel

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 3:22 pm

ChanieMommy wrote:

You see, I on the other hand, like the segula of going to Amuka to find a shidduch...
...because I can see how all those singles meeting in Amuka can lead to shidduchim...

THAT'S why the rabbi wanted everyone to walk around 7 times! If they didn't see a likely soulmate on the first pass, then they must spot somebody by the 4th or 5th, and then the prospective couple speed dates for the last few circles.

Genius LOL

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 3:43 pm

Reality wrote:

The way to combat intermarriage is through Jewish education.

I agree with you in theory. This person, a relative of mine, did have a Jewish education. Most of those providing the education did not have the greatest judgment and left her with a bad taste in her mouth about Torah. Add to that getting bullied by the frummest kid in her class and now she wants nothing to do with Judaism. Dating a very nice non-Jewish guy for a few years now.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 3:44 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Thank you for answering. I didnt mean anything bad about the question. I genuinely was curious how a segula could be verified.
If you do find out, I would love to know.

Of course, I didn’t think you meant anything bad at all. It’s a valid question and honestly I have the same one Smile

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 3:45 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

[u]
Tell me a single segulah in history that can be proven? Literally a single one? When the rebbetzin said *most* segulahs are made up, I'd have asked her which ones aren't? I mean don't get me wrong, most segulas are nice things. Baking challah, visiting a kever, saying certain tehilim, but which segulas can be proven to work? As far as I can tell, none. If I'm wrong, please tell me which segulas work?

Great questions… I’d be curious as well if anyone has info on that.

amother

↑ Tangerine ↓

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 4:02 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Try anything

What do you mean by "anything"?

Someone told me if I eat matza balls on friday night and shabbos day, I'll be wealthy. Another person told me if I bake brownie cake for simchas torah, I will live to see many generations. Are these made up more than the others? How do you know?

Elfrida

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 4:07 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

If you eat matzah balls Friday night and Shabbos day, you will feel full and consequently consume less meat. That will save you a lot of money, since matzah meal is a lot cheaper than meat. If you maintain this habit stringently for years, all the money you save will leave you relatively wealthy.

Still working on the brownie cake. Maybe all the generations will come to you for a slice.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 4:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm with you. My person has a similar story. Mine is already married, and got just enough of a connection to Judaism back to have the spouse do something they call a conversion.

I will bli neder daven for you and your person. Also, I asked for an eitzah and was told that since my person was spoken to negatively by others, I should work on my speech.

↑ Success10

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 4:15 pm

Elfrida wrote:

If you eat matzah balls Friday night and Shabbos day, you will feel full and consequently consume less meat. That will save you a lot of money, since matzah meal is a lot cheaper than meat.

Matzah meal is very expensive actually. Such a shanda.

↑ Reality ↓

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 4:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm sorry about your family member!

Try to think rationally. Will heating up a brick and davening do anything more to help then just davening?

If your relative is seriously dating a non-jew speak to a Rav that is very well versed in situations like this. Heed his advice and daven!

↑ shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 4:25 pm

ChanieMommy wrote:

You see, I on the other hand, like the segula of going to Amuka to find a shidduch...
...because I can see how all those singles meeting in Amuka can lead to shidduchim...

This made me laugh. Have you ever been to amuka? I went with a friend who was sure that that was the ticket. There is no social mingling. Its females davening on the female's side and the men davening on the men's side. Nobody is meeting anyone there. Trust me Smile

iyar ↓

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 5:00 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

[u]

Tell me a single segulah in history that can be proven? Literally a single one? When the rebbetzin said *most* segulahs are made up, I'd have asked her which ones aren't? I mean don't get me wrong, most segulas are nice things. Baking challah, visiting a kever, saying certain tehilim, but which segulas can be proven to work? As far as I can tell, none. If I'm wrong, please tell me which segulas work?

Segulas don't "work". A segula isn't like something out of Harry Potter. It's not a magical incantation that will instantly turn your enemy into a frog or give you the power to fly.
There have been rabbis who have mentioned things that can be done as a form of hishtadlus when a person needs something. If what you're doing as a segulah is a positive thing to begin with, like saying Tehillim or hafrashas challah, then doing that while davening for a good outcome can't hurt.
It's always a good idea to find out the source of a segulah. If you heard it directly from Rebbetzin Heller-Gottlieb, or a different person you trust and look up to, then there's something behind it. Even if you don't necessarily know what that is you might want to try it, while remembering Who is The Only One that can bring about the results you're asking for.

amother

↑ Blonde

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 5:11 pm

I learned a lesson from my kids though, when they heard it would happen they went and said Tehillim. What a pure response, and now I wish I'd thought of doing the same.

Instead I shrugged and figured there's nothing I can do about it. And just worried over how to get out of attending it by zoom Sad

avrahamama

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 5:16 pm

I don't see how it hurts to do it. Sometimes it's not the actual segula but how the segula affects your outlook. Maybe in the process of doing this mundane, physical, thing your mind clears up and opens you to a chochma of how to deal with the situation.

When I lose an object I'll go and do something else, like wash the dishes. And while I'm washing the dishes I think of where to look for my loet object.

Maybe each segulah and activity opens up a certain part of your brain that helps create change.

naturalmom5

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 5:19 pm

Reality wrote:

Is it common for people to believe in segulos like this? I'm shocked.

The way to combat intermarriage is through Jewish education.

Ya think..
If you send your daughter to PS and never teach her about yiddishkeit, something tells me the brick wont help you

Frumme

Sun, Sep 06 2020, 5:49 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Ya think..
If you send your daughter to PS and never teach her about yiddishkeit, something tells me the brick wont help you

?

Jews can go to frum Jewish schools and STILL not get the "education" they need. They can still go OTD or intermarry, chas v'shalom. It is more than just education... It's a mindset. I know a brilliant scholar who became a Rabbi at a young age. He eventually went OTD because, well... Never at one point did anyone ever instill in him that Hashem loves him. Not his cheder, not his top yeshivas. BH he eventually married a Jewish girl, but it was a real concern that maybe he might not even do that.

I have close family members who went to frum schools and still intermarried. In the case of one, she kept getting set up with really terrible guys who were "frum" yet would try to touch her inappropriately or spoke to her like she was a dog. She ended up marrying a non Jew who wrote her poetry, bought her flowers, and in general treated her like a princess. That plus the fire and brimstone version of Judaism she was taught of meant it was just an OTD/intermarriage just waiting to happen.

My point is, it can happen to anyone (cv"s). It's not as easy as saying that all you need to do is send your child to a frum school and you won't have to worry about such things....