Am I the only one happy not to fast?

amother

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:06 am

A few times in my life I have gotten heterim not to fast for one reason or another, and honestly I’ve been quite happy not to have to fast those times. I’ve seen multiple posts from people who’ve also gotten heterim, yet feel so guilty. I don’t get it. Am I the only one who is happy when I don’t have to fast?

amother

Pewter ↓

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:08 am

Nope! Me. Thrilled. Elated. Grateful. Fought long and hard for this (High risk) pregnancy and I’m so glad to have a rabbi who
Gets it. Today my mitzvah was nurturing my baby.

tichellady

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:09 am

I hate fasting and don’t find it meaningful in any way. I much prefer when I have a valid reason not to fast

amother

↑ Pewter

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:10 am

tichellady wrote:

I hate fasting and don’t find it meaningful in any way. I much prefer when I have a valid reason not to fast

Yes! At baseline I’m a terrible and grumpy faster. For people who fast well or easily it may be harder to give up?

amother

Sienna

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 9:42 am

I'm with you. But it's "politically incorrect" on a basically right-wing website to admit this. Much more acceptable to moan about how bad you feel that you can't fast/go to shul/wtvr. I can't relate at all.

TY OP for "coming out" and letting me know I'm not alone.

PinkFridge

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 10:40 am

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

What about "relieved"? I think even the most RW would be ok with that.
I'll accept all pm's if anyone wants me to proofread a post to avoid flak.
Wink

rivkam

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 11:45 am

I have to say I agree. I find it hard to find meaning on fast days because I feel so awful. I just spend the day in bed normally

amother

Tan

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You shouldn’t be happy you should feel bad and still find ways to be in aveilus over the churnan

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:57 pm

Me too. Fasting only serves to re-traumatize me and it is zero percent fun. Once I had a heter not to fast and it was great because I didn’t have to recover from fasting for the next month. No guilt. Also zero guilt for not being able to daven.

amother

Lilac

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 1:03 pm

I think it makes a difference whether your were given a heter not to fast, or to try fasting and break if you don’t feel well. The people who posted had tried fasting and then broke it. I did the same yesterday, and it’s hard because you doubt if you were truly sick enough. If a rabbi straight up told me to not fast I would probably not feel guilty, which has happened in the past.

zaq

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 1:10 pm

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

You shouldn’t be happy you should feel bad and still find ways to be in aveilus over the churnan

She's not happy about the churban, she's not jumping up and down in glee "whee! I don't have to fast!" she's happy (or relieved) to have a burden lifted off her shoulders. Considering that one is exempted from fasting only because of a difficult health condition, it's seldom cause for celebration. (You may be thrilled to be pg or nursing but it's still a difficulty.)

amother

Ginger

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 1:12 pm

I was thrilled! Couldn’t stop smiling. Drank my coffee in utter joy

amother

Mauve

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 1:27 pm

Can’t say I was happy. I was relieved. Still feel knocked out just from fasting till Chatzos.