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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:26 pm
Blessing1 wrote: | Where does semicha come in here?
The key word hear is a Rav allowed it. The first response to OP's post is that she can report them, no mention of asking a Rav was made. No, she can't just report them. I find it so ironic that on a frum site when someone says you can report, no one makes anything of it and if one mentions that it's assur to report, she gets so much backlash. Such middos tovos going on here. | So make a spin-off thread about reporting people. It’s unfair to hijack threads because you don’t like the first response.
Besides, op clearly said that wasn’t the kind of advice she was looking for. So the argument is irrelevant here.
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ShishKabob
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:27 pm
Unfortunately, nowadays many have forgotten the harbkeit of Messira. We are not talking about exceptions.
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:29 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote: | Why should she have mentioned a rav? I will quote what you replied to me up thread:
"Yes it's assur and everyone knows that.
I thought it's self understood that when a frum jew has a sheila, they ask a Rav. I didn't think I need to spell that out to a frum women." |
So why are you attacking me and not that poster? Only I have to mention a Rav? When one posts that she should do something against halacha, she doesn't need to mention asking a Rav? Only those that point out that it's assur gets bashed?
I shouldn't be surprised, this is typical imamother.
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:31 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote: | So make a spin-off thread about reporting people. It’s unfair to hijack threads because you don’t like the first response.
Besides, op clearly said that wasn’t the kind of advice she was looking for. So the argument is irrelevant here. |
I didn't hijack the thread, I was just replying to Frantic Frummie that said OP can report.
Those attacking me for saying that you can't report are the one's hijacking the thread.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:32 pm
Blessing1 wrote: | So why are you attacking me and not that poster? Only I have to mention a Rav? When one posts that she should do something against halacha, she doesn't need to mention asking a Rav? Only those that point out that it's assur gets bashed?
I shouldn't be surprised, this is typical imamother. | You are making my point. You gave me hell for what I replied with, yet your issue was with not asking a rav. That was already not said way before I replied.
ANd in terms of typical imamother, typical is that you have women of all walks of frum judaism. You are never going to have everyone agreeing with everything all of the time at all.
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:48 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote: | You are making my point. You gave me hell for what I replied with, yet your issue was with not asking a rav. That was already not said way before I replied.
ANd in terms of typical imamother, typical is that you have women of all walks of frum judaism. You are never going to have everyone agreeing with everything all of the time at all. |
Let me get this straight. You posted that if anyone does something illegal "they better be reported", no mention of a Rav here either, and somehow everyone is fine with this statement.
Yet I nebach say that it's assur to report and I get attacked as if I said the worse thing??
When posters say to do something against halacha they don't need to mention a Rav? Only when someone says it's assur they need to mention a Rav? What's the policy?
This is astounding. I guess not everyone realizes the harsh things it says in the torah about reporting a jew.
Last edited by Blessing1 on Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:38 pm
Blessing1 wrote: | I didn't hijack the thread, I was just replying to Frantic Frummie that said OP can report.
Those attacking me for saying that you can't report are the one's hijacking the thread. |
You started off very aggressively in multiple posts in the beginning of the thread about there's being nothing op can do because of course frum Jews know they can't report.
It was a thinly disguised guilt trip that we all saw straight through.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:41 pm
pause wrote: | And here we go again....
Dina demalchusa dina does not give you the right to report. One person's sin doesn't make your sin permissible. The neighbor is wrong, but it doesn't mean you can now do wrong as well. |
Dina demalchusa dina was to blessings insinuation that it's none of our business when our fellow Jews engage in blatant illegal activity. It wasn't a call for op to report.
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:43 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | Dina demalchusa dina was to blessings insinuation that it's none of our business when our fellow Jews engage in blatant illegal activity. It wasn't a call for op to report. |
Dina d'malchisa still doesn't make it our business what other's do.
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:44 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | You started off very aggressively in multiple posts in the beginning of the thread about there's being nothing op can do because of course frum Jews know they can't report.
It was a thinly disguised guilt trip that we all saw straight through. |
I'm sorry, I don't think I was being aggressive and I didn't mean to.
I wasn't the one that brought up reporting.
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pause
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:01 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | Dina demalchusa dina was to blessings insinuation that it's none of our business when our fellow Jews engage in blatant illegal activity. It wasn't a call for op to report. |
I responded the way I did because on another recent thread posters seem to feel like if one person is doing something against the law and being oiver on dina demalchusa dina, then it's ok to report them.
I thought you were insinuating permission to report by saying that both actions are equally assur.
And I agree with what Blessings1 said. It is not our job to police others who engage in blatant illegal activity. You can give them tochacha like you would for any other sin you observe someone engaging in. The fact that OP is being personally bothered by the neighbor's sin does not mean that the sin itself is her business, and it shouldn't factor in at all with how she deals with this issue. She is bothered by the noise which in and of itself is not illegal. Put it this way, if OP's neighbor would be operating the day camp legally, what recourse would OP have?
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:02 pm
another aside: please do not project your own feelings and say "we all"... when you purple amother feel a certain way and maybe some people agree with you in which case they will hit the like button or otherwise indicate
you most likely did not mean it like this but it is a bullying tactic I take issue with
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avrahamama
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:10 pm
pause wrote: | I responded the way I did because on another recent thread posters seem to feel like if one person is doing something against the law and being oiver on dina demalchusa dina, then it's ok to report them.
I thought you were insinuating permission to report by saying that both actions are equally assur.
And I agree with what Blessings1 said. It is not our job to police others who engage in blatant illegal activity. You can give them tochacha like you would for any other sin you observe someone engaging in. The fact that OP is being personally bothered by the neighbor's sin does not mean that the sin itself is her business, and it shouldn't factor in at all with how she deals with this issue. She is bothered by the noise which in and of itself is not illegal. Put it this way, if OP's neighbor would be operating the day camp legally, what recourse would OP have? |
You know I once learned that you can't just give tochacha for what you see. You have to be sure the place you're giving tochacha from is of pure love for that other person and for HKBH. It's not like oh I see someone doing something wrong and illegal and they need a talking to .... It's oh no, this is hurting them, it's hurting their neshama and it's hurting HKBH and so I must say something. If you can't come from that place. Better to just mind your own business.
In the place of OP. Probably would be hard not to bear a grudge if she approaches them and it doesn't work out. And probably wouldn't even help in the long run to snitch as it's just a seasonal thing and neighbors are for longer than a summer
Maybe make a deal that the camp has rest hour or storytime or quiet play during baby's nap time and see if that helps a little...
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:11 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Guys, enough. |
I'm sorry OP.
And I'm sorry if I was being aggressive, I didn't mean to. Sorry.
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pause
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:21 pm
avrahamama wrote: | You know I once learned that you can't just give tochacha for what you see. You have to be sure the place you're giving tochacha from is of pure love for that other person and for HKBH. It's not like oh I see someone doing something wrong and illegal and they need a talking to .... It's oh no, this is hurting them, it's hurting their neshama and it's hurting HKBH and so I must say something. If you can't come from that place. Better to just mind your own business. |
All that is true and important of course. Giving tochacha is not a simple matter either. I threw it out there because someone mentioned that OP can't just mind her own business when her neighbor is sinning I.e. she should report.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:52 pm
ROFL wrote: | I can see the headline :
group of 20 children are COVID positive with symptoms of Kawasaki disease.
Neighbors did not report illegal camp cuz Rabbi Blessings1 on ima mother said it is assur ! |
You would think OPs neighbor is the only one doing a backyard camp. I live OOT, and even though it was legal to open daycamps, many decided not to because it would be practically impossible to go along with all the precautions. So all the high school girls (who couldn't go to sleepaway camp), many bochurim and yungeleit, are making backyard camps. Half of the town has 'neighbors who are making a backyard camp'! Nobody would ever dream of reporting.
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amother
Babyblue
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:40 pm
Backyard daycamps are actually safer than regular big daycamps right now! (They might be noisy but I would much rather send to a backyard camp than a huge daycamp!)
No busses, 15-20 kids instead of 200 kids! The less ppl the less risks of exposure!
Sorry OP for the noise, it's not fun!
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amother
Azure
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:45 pm
You have a right to complain and be unhappy but don’t think you can stop them. I think if you say something you won’t be friendly neighbors anymore
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amother
Peach
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:54 pm
Blessing1 wrote: | I'm assuming you are a jewish women and you follow the torah. I assume that you know that it's assur for a jew to report a jew.
It is absolutely none of your business if someone is doing something illegal. A Jew that says that another jew "better be reported" and is thinking about reporting another jew, especially when it's not about pekuach nefesh, is a Rasha.
Hashem is the judge, not you or me. |
I hugged you because others dont get it, but I do. What does Hashem want from us? More infighting and problems? Its not going to help bring Mashiach!
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