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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
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 Sun, Jan 06 2008, 9:03 am
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My dd has been a mother's helper a few times. This is her 1st experience, other than home. She is 10 1/2. I told the mother that I would like for her to only play with the kids or help with little things like setting the table. I also said that she did not need to be paid. I just wanted her to have a good experience doing chesed. DD does not like changing diapers, making bottles, feeding babies, etc.. So, I told the mom just to have her play. I get the sense though that my dd is doing more than I said she could. She would never refuse if the mom asked her to do something. But dd was very cranky and overtired. And when dh picked her up she was doing something that I know she does not like to do. DD also mentioned that she was asked to do something I had said not to ask her to do. How can I tell the mom it's too much for dd?
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Tamiri
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Sun, Jan 06 2008, 9:09 am
How can I tell the mom it's too much for dd?
(1) Pick up phone
(2) Dial
(3) Say "HI" to the woman
(4) Ask how it's been going with your daughter
(5) Remark that your daughter seems to be very tired, perhaps you need to rethink her job, she's just 10.5 and you don't like her being burdened... how does the woman feel about that
(6) Be friendly
(7) Let the woman talk
When you are finished talking and have hung up, talk it over with your husband and see if you want your daughter working there. There is NO Chessed in her doing things that you don't approve of and it's no mitzva to take advantage of a little girl, which is what she is. You don't want to put a little girl in a situation where she can't say no, which is what happens when an adult asks a well-bred little girl to do something. DD is your #1 priority..
Good luck
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shoy18
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Sun, Jan 06 2008, 9:11 am
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tell her straight out, its to much for your dd and unless she cuts down on what your dd does she cant help anymore. The poor girl is 10.5 you dont want her resenting doing chessed at such an early age, thats definitly not good chinuch!
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