Reb Zanvel Zevulun Zvilowitz's guide to Pesach 2020

top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 1:31 am

My dear overwhelmed, overworked, over crowded, overtired Noshim tzidkoniyos,
I'm sure you're anxiously awaiting my awesome dh's amazing chumrah suggestions, so here goes.
Zanvan is deeply hurt to the deepest part of his deep neshama, from what he's hearing and reading about these days.
People are talking about doing just the BASICS??!! for pesach? Rabanim are saying to take it EASIER??!! this year?
I mean, in times like this, you're supposed to ADD chumras, not try to get away with the basics!!!
Every single drawer in the house needs a vacuum and toothpick job!!!
Every single shelf needs a bleach job!!!
So what if I forgot what my bed looks like?
What if I can't remember what a shower feels like?
Pesach is coming!!!!
What if I came home with quadruplets 3 days ago, and the doctor warned me to take it easy??!!
That's what my Zeese kinderlach are here for!
My perfectly precocious 3 year old Zeesel is in charge of the quadrups. Yes, bottles and diapers, yes, it's safe and not parentifying in any way.
My charming, talented 5 yr old Zehavele is in charge of meals, yes, it's safe and absolutely responsible.
And 6 year old geshikte Zalmele is in charge of the grocery shopping. Again, for those who are unnecessarily concerned, perfectly safe, and not too difficult. I might join him for the big Pesach order, although I don't see the necessity of that, I'll send Zeesel with the quadruple carriage to help shlep everything home.
And, for those who are wondering.... Where is the main character, the tzaddik hagaon in this whole picture?
Wait till you hear about his newest selflessness!
I'm shivering and chilly as I'm typing this..., such downright gadlus. I'm in awe that I'm actually married to this awesome awesomeness!
My poor Zanvan coughed once last week, and almost had fever, so since he loves and cares so much for his wife and kinderlachs kh, he is voluntarily self-quarantining.
He wants us to stay healthy, so he's basically in the guest room chilling away , I'm sorry, meant to say, isolating for our good.
All that it entails for me is leaving nutritious meals at his door, so the poor guy can recover from his almost case of you-know-what (not mentioning the c word on this thread Smile

)
It takes madreiga to stay in the room while he's just itching to get out and change some diapers, burp some babies, bleach some bathrooms, and shlep some cases.
I'm blushing from pride. I don't know why I was zoche to all this Not worthy

crust ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 1:38 am

Did he predict that any of this is coming? I mean with these madreigos.

You are one lucky lady.

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 1:42 am

The bigger tzaddik you are, the more humble you become, ESPECIALLY ZZZ!
I'm not free to share that information.
(Which , of course! doesn't mean he didn't know way before everyone)

↑ crust ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 1:45 am

top mom wrote:

The bigger tzaddik you are, the more humble you become, ESPECIALLY ZZZ!
I'm not free to share that information.
(Which , of course! doesn't mean he didn't know way before everyone)

What's his prediction for the future?
I get it. You can't reveal.

But remember that people that say things after the fact have a lower credibility rate.

WitchKitty ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 3:40 am

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 3:43 am

Proven Segula!!!
Rav Zanvel Zevulun Zvilowitz promised that if all Noshim tzidkoniyos say the entire tehillim 19 times every day, then the c virus will stop automatically!!!
תהילים and קורונה both have the same amount of letters!
And 19 lremez covid 19.
Such pure,sheer brilliance, to come up with this brilliant, easy Segula!

↑ WitchKitty ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 3:53 am

top mom wrote:

I am the only isha tzidkonis left in this world these days.
I've been saying the whole tehillim 18 times every day, "chai", but now I'll just add another time and we're saved!
Yes, I won't sleep at all but at least I know that I'll have gloves left in the store for Pesach cleaning. I change my gloves every 1/2 hour since I'm not sure how kosher the dust I'm cleaning is.

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 4:01 am

And toothpicks, witch kitty, toothpicks are the ultimate pesach tool, according to you-know-who.
I bought a case, just in... case

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:22 am

Phew

, just finished tehillim#19 Whew

Heading on over to move our beds and scrub the floor with bleach.
You think it's safe after C-section? Scratching Head

Got my psak! ZZZ paskened that if I say lichvod Pesach then it's perfectly okay!
Gosh, what would I do without a local gadol!!??
Anyone else joining the tehillim team?

dancingqueen

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:32 am

happy12

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 11:18 am

Good luck

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 5:07 pm

I don't really have any team members for the exciting tehillim program, which will only take up most of your day (and night), except for witch kitty and yours truly.
ZZZ said that he's offering free shalom bayis classes, or a personal guidance shiur to whoever signs up.
I hope I don't sound as desperate as I am 😬
Waiting (desperately),
Your rebetzin, Zelda Zlata Zvilowitz

Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 5:23 pm

Why are you recommending isolation for poor zanvil when what he really wants is more children? Like, now? Get to it, woman! Then do Pesach. Priorities these days...

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 5:44 pm

Jewish Foodie, if you read my post, you should have noticed that I had quadruplets like, a week ago!
The doctor told me to take bc for a year ( I googled it, had no clue what it was), since I had a C-section, ZZZ is obviously machmir and said that 6 weeks is plenty.
But I'm not up to... being.... with him YET.
And yes, that should be a priority in a yiddishe mishpacha!

imasinger

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 6:42 pm

Rebbetzin, can you share whether one is allowed to say tehillim while nursing, and if not, is it better to bottle feed the quadruplets, or take a little longer to complete the 19 repetitions? Also, how fast can you say over the whole sefer tehillim? Inquiring minds want to know.

↑ Jewishfoodie

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 6:51 pm

top mom wrote:

Excuses. That's all this generation knows how to make. In mitzraim, they had, like, 6 at a time, every 15 minutes. Do you here them complaining?! Are they on Ima saying how "they just had 6 babies and they're pregnant again.." No! Because they are nashim tzidkanios! We got OUT OF EGYPT because of them! Why. Do. I. Bother...

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 6:59 pm

Ladies, can you please read my op carefully before wasting my precious time that could be spent saying tehillim or scrubbing?
Thanks
Now, to answer your question, imasinger'le, tehillim and bleach come before EVERYTHING!, including your kids, and including nursing. And if you would have read my op, dear, you would see that the babies are in the capable hands of my mature 3yr old Zeesel, who is obviously bottle feeding them.
The main message, ladies, is; our goal these days is tehillim and pesach deep cleaning!
Nothing should distract us from these tasks!
Except for if your spouse is on a lofty madreiga, then you also have to prioritize taking care of his lofty needs.
One example of a truly deserving spouse is my dearest, dearest Zanvelainu.

↑ top mom ↓

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:02 pm

Jewish Foodie, I have taken the mussar to heart, how courageous of you to offer advice to one of the smartest, most geshikte woman in klal yisrael!
I will rush to the mikvah tonight, will let you know when I have a positive Wink

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:19 pm

top mom wrote:

I must remind you that according to our holy sages you must wait at least 7 days after a boy and 14 days after a girl. I know you had quadruplets, maybe they are all boys and you can go after 7 days, but don't you think that your Zanvel would be uber makpid, to wait at least a week for each boy, so that would be at least 4 weeks (GASP) if it was all boys, and up to 8 weeks if all girls (that's why I am sure you do IVF with gender selection to make sure you have only boys...)

keym

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:31 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

No. That's called a Chossid Shota. Choosing to be machmir on certain things (waiting a week for each boy) and chv coming to a tiny chshash of aveira (the tiniest little thought of maybe zl).
Top mom I beg you. Please don't listen to the I'ma, who's going another on top of that who's encouraging you to lower ZZZs level.