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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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chocolate moose ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 9:45 am

Thinking about what Mugsisme said, about how so many of us have kids either at risk or at risk to be at risk, how about a forum for that?

Yay or nay...and do we want it closed or not - and then I'll ask Yael about it, bli neder.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:12 pm

Perhaps I should hve made a poll.

Anyway, with no yays at all, I guess it's moot. I'm not going to ask Yael if there's no interest.

amother ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:23 pm

I think that asking a question and expecting an answer in 3 hours doesnt mean your point is moot.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:25 pm

okay, okay........

DefyGravity

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:28 pm

There is a small demographic of women on this site that have teenagers, let alone teens at risk. By making the forum closed, you're probably not going to have anyone to talk to.

mumoo ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:30 pm

who has kids who are not at risk?

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:35 pm

I just have a toddler right now: but speaking as an at risk teenager myself (not so long ago) you would be missing out by closing the forum, cuz sometimes you get advice from someone whos been there; done that.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:35 pm

If ppl think they can speak freely only amonst those that won't judge them, maybe even if it's small, it'd be better.

How about the smarmy replies I got re dd's open tops/short skirts on TR's thread ? Those were totally unhelpful.

greenfire ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 1:47 pm

well you know I fit the criteria ... but I think all my cards are on the table ...

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 2:03 pm

If it's gonnna be a kvetch-fest, then that's not going to help anyone, then.....

↑ mumoo ↓

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 8:00 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

If it's gonnna be a kvetch-fest, then that's not going to help anyone, then.....

if it's only mothers who currently have issues and no answers, it'll be a kvetch-fest

like amother wth a toddler just said, women who have been there or have had children who have been there could offer answers

JewishMother18

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 10:58 pm

I'm not really sure what you're aiming at here CM but I have a couple of teenagers and one of them - my DD - is definitely at risk.

Tefila

Wed, Dec 12 2007, 11:06 pm

Actually I think it may be something to talk about cm HOWEVER the mods should not be the posters on it.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 12:19 am

look just a thought here. You want a thread that should only be for parents of teenagers at risk.

like someone said, how are you going to get any worthwile advice if the only posters involved are ones without the answers, because logicaly speaking if they had the answers they wouldn't be no the forum according to your criteria.

I think being open-minded enough to listen to posters who have teenagers who aren't at risk, to find out how they do it makes more sense.

I always think its so strange when posters attack other posters saying, "you must not have experience with teens at risk if you think that way"
pulleeezze...anyone stop to think why they don't have experience?

Seraph

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 12:46 am

I think a forum like that is a good idea, as long as its not private; trust me, I know plenty about teens at risk, as I was one, my best friend from then is off the derech, my whole chevre was the "at risk" chevre, and I work now as a mentor to an at risk teen, who b'h is now in the process of straightening out her life...
oh, and about half my high school class qualified as at risk.
so I would definitely want to contribute to such a forum...

↑ mumoo ↓

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 7:57 am

amother wrote:

pulleeezze...anyone stop to think why they don't have experience?

good point

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:00 am

want to explain yourself ?

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:01 am

all I'm saying is maybe the parents having issues with their teens will benefit from talking to the mothers that don't have issues with their teens.
Find out what their secret is so to speak

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:03 am

That's liking asking a naturally thin person diet tips. NO WAY.

We have discussed this before - some posters here like to preach "what should be". They have no concept of the way teens think and actually are.

Ditto some "famous" speakers on the subject.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 1:32 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

That's liking asking a naturally thin person diet tips. NO WAY.

But what about asking a thin person who use to be NOT thin for advice or someone who has children who went off but were able to straighten them out or who was like that themselves and knows what to do or what not to do or who has such a naturally good way with children that risk was never an issue or could tell parents what not to do from the start?

I have a teenager who didn't go to school for almost 2 years and ended up in day psych care. s/he is now boruch Hashem doing beautifully in school. I could offer some advice, even though technically I don't have a child at risk. But like someone said, everyone is at risk

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