Who are you | Imamother

amother

Khaki

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:13 pm

A misfit.
I currently live in boropark/kensington but its mostly because we got a deal, and my husband and I work in the area. We are MO Machmir, and definitely stand out amongst the sea of chassidim. Husband and I both went to modern schools, our parents are more traditional, and we are the more religious ones in our families. Even stick out at home. I went to a more mainstream sem, husband couldn't do Yeshiva his parents werent ok with it. I can get by with yeshivish lingo, and I am tzniut- cover my hair completely (usually a mitpachat) but I show my toes (I know ppl will argue on that). We got married in israel, speak well in hebrew and some other languages and dont own or watch tv- will occasionally watch superhero or kid movies. My husband doesnt have a set rav at this point, but has a few he will ask for shailos, including birth control. I work part time with a profession I received after getting a masters and am home w my toddler for the most part bh. Honestly I am sure many women on this site would judge me Irl too, but im totally used to it by now. Ive never really felt I fit anywhere except with my husband. Most of my friends are more modern and its not an infrequent thought, to wish I had a sense of community.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:21 pm

I am an extremely complicated person. My layers run very high into shamayim, and way down into the deep dark places of the soul. Often I am a mystery even to myself.

If I tried to actually articulate everything I could think of about who I am, I could type until my fingers fall off, and still feel like somehow I was missing the important part.

Mostly I'm hopeful, cheerful, and happy in spite of whatever is going on in my life. Despair is not an option.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:36 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

I know the community there. Many yeshivish ppl there too. I know what you feel like though. I Also don't belong in my community. I Have become friends with quite a few womam who are way more chassidish than me and very diffetent culture. We enjoy each others company and there are always universal women topics to shmooze about. Sometimes I would go shopping in diffetent parts of town just to meet ppl with a similar culture to mine and it made me feel like I am not so crazy. Both are important finding ppl your type and making friends with those not so much your type.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:37 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

We love you Smile

amother

Seashell

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:43 pm

we are left wing but part of the mainstream yeshiva world. Ill show hair with a fall, we have a tv, we keep shabbos, taharas Hamishpacha, maaser, you name it. Dh and I feel strongly against a lot of the values taught in the right wing yeshiva system (as some of you have mentioned) but we try our best. We believe being a good person who treats people right is more important than anything else.

I almost always post as amother because I suspect a few people I know are on here (including dhs friend who once said something suspicious)

amother

Coffee

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:45 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

Your description reminds of someone who frequents a park in BP.
(What is a mitpachat?)
I don’t judge you IRL.
I actually enjoying speaking to people who are different than me.
It makes life so much more interesting.
If you meet me at the park, please know that the only reason why I don’t initiate a conversation with you is because of the age difference between us.

honeymoon

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:55 pm

I find it fascinating that in a five page thread there seems to be three primary ways women are identifying themselves.
1) By dress code, spending habits, fashion consciousness and other external factors.
2) By religious level, chassidus, affiliation, and other religious categories.
3) By their personality, thought process, attitude, level of acceptance, world view, political leanings, and other internal factors.

All of them are equally valid, but given that the specifics were not specified in the op, it's interesting to see where everyone's mind jumps when asked the timeless question, "who are you?"

↑ thunderstorm ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:00 pm

honeymoon wrote:

In the OP she spoke about religious levels/affiliation. She mentions people who don’t use internet and MO people. So I assumed she was referring to affiliation and religious level etc.

↑ thunderstorm

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:01 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

A mitpachat is (Hebrew) for a tichel /kerchief

↑ iyar

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 7:02 pm

honeymoon wrote:

Nice try, honeymoon, to take the philosophy/ analysis route, and avoid telling us who You are Wink

flowerpower

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 7:35 pm

Who am I? Just an ordinary very patient woman trying to keep her cool while bedtime is still very incomplete. I sometimes make ( gulp) grammar mistakes since I use my little phone using one hand and a third of my mushed up brain while multi tasking. I don’t own a bugaboo nor a doona. We do drive an Odyssey or Siena though. Some of my kids do wear matching clothes only sometimes though so not sure how I would identify as.

naturalmom5

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 7:55 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Shame, I thought this would be one of those threads that was profound!

But alas I open it and its yet another post that focuses on belonging rather than beleiving. We've become so shallow, its so sad. Sad

Do we really all have to have a 'type'? What if I don't identify myself by what I wear, which chumras I keep, and who I hang out with. What if my self-identity goes way beyond that? ...

My connection with Hashem, my life experiences, my thought processes, my challenges and achievements, my strength and commitments, my constant desire to grow. Does that count? That is what would come to mind if someone asked 'Who are you'

Yay... I have a sister LOL

I always think that this forum could be a female hirhurim.com and disseminate so much Torah
Instead it mostly a hodgepodge of self-righteous valley girls pretty much everyone I know in real life