Who are you | Imamother

amother

↑ Bisque ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Sure! Im a little chassidish, a little yeshivish, we don't speak yiddish at home, very frum, kids don't go on the internet but we read a lot of library books and encourage learning. I dont do chumros and do the best I can with the tools I have. I Have been on here for about 4 years I think and although it looks like a bunch if types I often think that there is really a very strong type here... that means it must attract a certain type of person within whatever group you are in. For example maybe its bout attracting the ppl that are very opposed to bc. Just an example.

I get u. I also feel sometimes that I just dont fit into this kind of crowd. Its the way the communications and conversations are leading sometimes feels very off to me.
Im the type of person who loves getting along with all types and kinds regardless from where they come from ...

amother

↑ Bisque ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:04 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

What does little chassidish little yashivish mean?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:06 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

There were several extremely negative threads over the years.

Listen, your schools in Lakewood, Boro Park, and Williamsburg (and other communities) accept or don't accept people based off of how long or not their sheitals and skirts are, if the mother drives or not, and whether or not the father learns or works, wears a white shirt, has internet no internet filtered internet internet for business (many of the ladies here would prob have their kids expelled if the schools knew they were on here).

Nowhere do the schools ask if the mother keeps taharat hamishpacha, what level of kashrut she holds by (in fact, many of these schools require parents only provide packaged stuff, and many parents only provide junk for mishloach manot because they know people won't accept the kashrut) and what Shabbat in the home looks like. Acceptance is purely based on looks and how willing you are to conform to what the school feels is its version of Judaism.

While I would not marry such a person because they wouldn't marry me, if my kid felt that marrying someone Yeshivish or Chasidish was the right derech for them, I would absolutely let with my whole heart. But I would not contort myself to their standards - I would not cover if they came or if I went, and I wouldn't change anything kashrut wise. If my kid wants to hold a different level, then they can bring the food and I'll take a week off.

Just because schools have crazy rules doesn't mean we as individuals feel the same way. They need something tangible to go by sadly...

Is it common for MO ppl to move toward becoming chassidish/yeshivish? I dont think its very typical the other way around. Some go off, sone go off and come back, some go off and come back more chilled or possibly MO but kids don't think about becoming MO typically.

iyar ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:08 pm

Wasn't there a thread recently that said something like, "ladies, be more self confident"?
Unfortunately I'm not.
No way I'm posting a picture of myself!
Under my screen name no less!
Kol Hakavod to scottishjewgirl!
I guess I fit Yael's criteria for hanging out here. Female. Jewish. Married to a Jewish guy. We both cover our heads but I don't feel like specifying exactly how. And yes, imamother. B"H.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:11 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

What does little chassidish little yashivish mean?

My husband has some chassidish minhagim. His hashkafah is mixed. He values a good davening but makpid lets say on zman for shalosh seudos. Halachos I think he asks a yeahivish poseik but for some halachos that he asks chassidish. I dress like yeahivish but he wears a gartel, no shtreimel and doesn't shave his beard. We dont eat in a sukkah shemini atzeres. We don't have a Rebbe.

amother

↑ Indigo

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Then change your mosdos and force them to be more accepting? You don't need something tangible to reject someone. A simple "not a right fit for our school" without the shtuss would do. Then again, I guess I'm lucky because the MO schools in Brooklyn were so few (and a reduced crowd) that I don't think they really reject people.

I don't think most MO people become that farfrumt (though I do know a case or two). In my crowd if you flip out in sem or yeshiva it's generally to MO Machmir/yeshivish light. More usually they frum out then come back to "normal" a few years later when the sem high is over.

amother

↑ Seafoam ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You sound very similar to me.
And I love ImaMother even if we aren’t similar in everything!

etky

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:17 pm

I'm another Israeli MO poster. Would describe myself as leaning more to the liberal side of MO than to the right wing.
I don't cover my hair. I don't wear pants either but that's because I feel it's not age-appropriate. I'm 53, so that also makes me older than most posters here.
I'm here because I like it here. It's informative about other ways of thinking and practicing Judaism and I've learned a lot over the years that I've been here. I also enjoy many threads that have nothing to do with religion. The debates are lively and intelligent and have given me access to different viewpoints that I hadn't previously considered.
I'm aware that as an MO poster I'm in the minority as far as my hashkafa and practice go but I don't mind. Every stream has its pluses and minuses, its strengths and weaknesses.
The real divide in my mind is the American/Israeli divide. I often feel that Americans and Israelis inhabit very different worlds.

PinkFridge

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:21 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

Absolute centrist MO/dati leumi, originally from Brooklyn now in Israel. I don't cover my hair (though I started out marriage by covering) and I don't cover my elbows, but I wear skirts and mostly make sure they cover my knee. I post only when I have something to add and never under my user name (I know I have a relative or two who lurk the site).

There is a viral anti MO undercurrent here - the majority of the yeshivish and chassidish ladies here seem to feel that we're not religious enough, despite being shomrei Shabbat, kashrut, and taharat hamishpacha. Chumrot are not what make the religion.

If you want to get in touch, let me know and I'll pm you.

I think that all demographics here have felt beleaguered at one time or another.

Zehava ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:40 pm

Who am I?
Let’s see
At my core I am full of light, love, empathy, purity, and healing energy.

Layered on top of that is loads of darkness comprised of pain, fear, anger, and longing

On top of that is an entire system of coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms, including mostly fight and flight, with some freeze mixed in. Dissociation, Passive aggression, dark humor, the works.

Then there’s the layer people see. Dressed appropriately but not very pretty or trendy. Slightly socially awkward but not enough to pay any attention to. Mostly silent through small talk, but I wake up when actual interesting subjects are brought up. Not many people see me though since I spend most of my time at home.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:42 pm

I'm a frum (maybe? Not sure, actually, if I completely qualify as "frum") giyoret. I am pretty hashgafically confused, which is exacerbated by my DH who is sort of a BT, but identifies as conservadox. I recently asked him how he decided what he was going to follow, and he told me that he follows his intuition. Oy vey. I'm shockingly liberal, politically, compared to most orthodox folk I know. My DH voted for Trump, though. I am married two years, currently 37, and expecting my first, B"H.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:44 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

I get that, but you guys treat this maybe halacha above and beyond those three d'oraitas that I mentioned above that actually ARE halachot, AND including over and above bein adam l'chavero for which yom kippur does not atone. While you might still be my friend, you wouldn't let your kids marry mine and many women here have stated that their kid going MO is to them just like their kid mamash going OTD.

It's very insulting.

I originally joined this site because I was hoping that my negative views of certain circles would be dispelled. Unfortunately, they were not.

Would you "let" your kids marry mine? (Chassidish here) I feel that sometimes the attitude of being better than the other goes both ways. I sometimes get the feeling that certain MO folks look down at me for being Chassidish aka fanatic.

↑ thunderstorm ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:45 pm

Zehava wrote:

We could be identical twins.