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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Pamela
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Mon, May 06 2019, 3:55 pm
Tragedy has struck the Lakewood community on Monday with the tragic Petira of a 20-month-old child.
Sources tell YWN that the child was found in a vehicle, apparently forgotten there earlier this morning.
https://www.theyeshivaworld.co......html
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imasinger
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Mon, May 06 2019, 3:57 pm
Horrible, horrible, horrible.
BD"E.
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amother
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:00 pm
OMG. So sad. I cant.
I have my kids every day in the car with me and I specifically leave something important in the back near my toddlers carseat just in case. I also make a real point in talking to my kids and being voxal with them ...silly songs etc so that I always know they are there.
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thunderstorm
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:00 pm
Just this week or late last week FranticFrumie gave great advice to put your shoe or pocketbook in the backseat with the baby because those are both two items you would need. This can help such tragedies be avoided rachmana letzlan
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Zehava
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:15 pm
I canāt
I gave my squirming toddler so many kisses right now
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amother
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:18 pm
[quote="amother [ Orchid ]"
I have my kids every day in the car with me and I specifically leave something important in the back near my toddlers car seat.[/quote]
So u leave āsomething importantā in the back seat so u wonāt forget your child? U mean something more important than the child? Like what? A wallet? Pocketbook?
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ra_mom
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:21 pm
BDE Terrible, terrible
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amother
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:21 pm
Honeydew, please don't mock anyone. You know very well what she means. It doesn't mean that anything is more important than a child chas veshalom. But if someone doesn't take a child in the car regularly, it is possible to forget the child. It happens to the best of us. It's great advice to put something in the back seat that you never leave the car without.
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amother
Navy
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:38 pm
Anon for this because I've suggested it to others IRL -
You know how on cars, when you put it in reverse the rear camera automatically goes on? Imagine if on all cars, when you put it in park, a camera showing the back seat would go on.
If you read about the psychology of how kids get forgotten (it's because the parent's mind goes into autopilot and is convinced that the child is elsewhere, usually when taking the kid is not routine) then you'll understand how this would help. When kids were in the front seat (till we learned it's unsafe) kids were almost never forgotten in cars.
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sky
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Mon, May 06 2019, 4:57 pm
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | So u leave āsomething importantā in the back seat so u wonāt forget your child? U mean something more important than the child? Like what? A wallet? Pocketbook? |
https://www.washingtonpost.com.....83e44
This article is eye opening. There are many things behind our control. The brain is so complex. How do we control what we remember and what we donāt? Are we in as much control as we think? Never mock someone who takes precautions to help with something as fragile as memory.
My heart is breaking.
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singleagain
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:01 pm
I have started driving that way, bc the car is pointing that way.. even if making a u turn makes more sense... I totally understand how muscle memory can take over.
That said . I'm pretty sure there are apps that yo can set reminders. And I think a child alert is an option on navigation apps
Even just tell Google/Siri to remind you to check the back seat when yo arrive at your destination...
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dankbar
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:02 pm
Its usually men that are not used to having child with themselves. Sometimes women that work & not used to having child with themselves. Most women dont forget their babies though
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amother
Sienna
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:05 pm
I live a few houses away and saw the whole thing. Horrible. I saw the look on the motherās face. Iāll never forget .
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amother
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:09 pm
amother [ Sienna ] wrote: | I live a few houses away and saw the whole thing. Horrible. I saw the look on the motherās face. Iāll never forget . |
I heard a neighbor did CPR! Who informed the parents?
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PinkFridge
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:11 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote: | Anon for this because I've suggested it to others IRL -
You know how on cars, when you put it in reverse the rear camera automatically goes on? Imagine if on all cars, when you put it in park, a camera showing the back seat would go on.
If you read about the psychology of how kids get forgotten (it's because the parent's mind goes into autopilot and is convinced that the child is elsewhere, usually when taking the kid is not routine) then you'll understand how this would help. When kids were in the front seat (till we learned it's unsafe) kids were almost never forgotten in cars. |
There's already a feature in cars that dings with a dashboard notification to check the back seat.
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amother
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:12 pm
Oy amother sienna, that is truly heartbreaking!
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PinkFridge
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:13 pm
amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | I heard a neighbor did CPR! Who informed the parents? |
I really understand the thoughts people are having. But we simply can't go there in discussing this. Pardon the reporting the post.
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sky
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Mon, May 06 2019, 5:13 pm
dankbar wrote: | Its usually men that are not used to having child with themselves. Sometimes women that work & not used to having child with themselves. Most women dont forget their babies though |
Women forget. The smart forget. All types personalities forget. Loving parents forget.
Quote: | āThe quality of prior parental care seems to be irrelevant,ā he said. āThe important factors that keep showing up involve a combination of stress, emotion, lack of sleep and change in routine, where the basal ganglia is trying to do what itās supposed to do, and the conscious mind is too weakened to resist. What happens is that the memory circuits in a vulnerable hippocampus literally get overwritten, like with a computer program. Unless the memory circuit is rebooted -- such as if the child cries, or, you know, if the wife mentions the child in the back -- it can entirely disappear.ā |
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