Kid needs speech mother denies???

qeenB

Tue, Nov 06 2007, 10:35 pm

my two youngest did not start talking until they were 2. yes to a certain degree it is a delay. however they were not delayed in other areas. after they turned two it was like a faucet was turned on that did not want to stop B"H. my two year old now says on average 5 new words a day and surprised us all the time. my four year old is a little chaterbox. I was told the way to judge is by how they understand what you are telling them. they both followed directions very well and understood everything that was going on. I had my second son evaluated right after he turned two and they would not give him speech because he already new enough words to not qualify and BH did not have any other delays. I dont think we need to bash every parent that is not running for therapy. why if a parent is not running for therapy does that make them in denial. maybe in this particular family her kids are late talkers and she doesnt feel the need for therapy. every kid is different my oldest spoke at 18 months so for me it was strange when my other ones did not talk right away. a friend of mine had her baby the day after mine. when my son was crawling hers was not even sitting when mine was running hers was just crawling . by the time they were in school at 3 years old they were doing the same stuff and her kid is probably smarter than mine too. that is why there are ranges in the milestones. I am sure she sees a pediatrician and is following his recomondations.

↑ Clarissa ↓

Tue, Nov 06 2007, 10:40 pm

sthillmom wrote:

A speech therapist is trained and educated specifically for assessing and treating speech and language delays. I am personally more comfortable with the diagnosis of someone specifically trained in a certain area. Doctors who specialize in speech and language delays do not exist. That is what speech therapists do. This developmental specialist is definitely more edcuated and trained than a therapist, but he may not be the be all and end all about speech and language norms and delays.

A speech delay can be tied to all sorts of issues, from cognitive/neurological problems, being on the autism spectrum or having attentional or processing issues. A developmental pediatrician looks at the entire person, and ties together all sorts of different responses to tests (physical development, hearing, receptive and expressive speech, eye contact, etc.) to figure out if something bigger is at play, and is responsible for a speech delay. He/she does so with all sorts of one-on-one tests and observations, including some standardized developmental tests. This is why we were told that, in addition to seeing a speech therapist for evaluation, we should immediately make an appointment with both an ENT and developmental pediatrician, who is a pediatrician specially trained to diagnose what others without extensive medical training might miss. Nobody is denigrating speech therapy by saying that it's important to know whether such therapy is necessary.

These days, schools are delighted to say that every kid needs speech, OT, physical, play or whatever therapy is out there. It's easier to expect parents to take care of catching their kids up than it is to provide the necessary extra attention, as young kids process and learn in their own way and time. Every fidgety boy is diagnosed with ADHD, which is easier than dealing with a fidgety boy. Diagnose, treat, rinse, repeat.

This is not to diminish the important of good diagnosis and treatment. I think treatment (particularly early intervention), when called for, can make an incredible difference in a child's life and education.

↑ gryp ↓

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 9:59 am

Then that would be your parenting decision. If you felt your two year old needed therapy to help him talk, great, get him therapy.

Since my parenting decision was that he needed more time and there were many other factors involved such as being bilingual, being extremely shy, genetic factors, and more, I knew he didn't need therapy. I certainly didn't need a school director writing the board of ed that I am "refusing therapy" as if it was necessary to begin with. Nor do I need someone who doesn't have a clue about the situation telling me 6 months later that I made a bad parenting decision and I refused therapy for my child who needed it.

And I did lots of research on which milestones should be reached when. If you do a simple google search or look at the latest charts hanging in the doctor's office, you'd be astonished to see that what they consider age- appropriate now, even I would consider extremely slow.

↑ redhot ↓

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 2:26 pm

"Nor do I need someone who doesn't have a clue about the situation telling me 6 months later that I made a bad parenting decision and I refused therapy for my child who needed it. "

GR who are you saying said you made a bad parenting decision? Noone ever said that. If you are referring to what I said- lets go back and read my comment again. If you dont want to do that then here's a breif synopsis. I said that you did in actuality refuse therapy for your hcild. You had your own reasons. You felt he didnt need it, but when that person thought your child needed it, that person was obligated to write that down and when you said your child didnt need it, that is the same as saying that you 'refused therapy'. Noone said you made a "bad parenting decision". Noone said you even made a mistake. You did what you thought was best for your child.

You seem extremely on edge and defensive. If you are so sure you made the right decision then you have nothing to feel defensive about. Be happy with your decision and stop being snotty to anyone else who comments about it!

↑ gryp ↓

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 2:50 pm

Quote:

I said that you did in actuality refuse therapy for your hcild. You had your own reasons. You felt he didnt need it, but when that person thought your child needed it, that person was obligated to write that down and when you said your child didnt need it, that is the same as saying that you 'refused therapy'. Noone said you made a "bad parenting decision". Noone said you even made a mistake. You did what you thought was best for your child.

I find it very offensive to be told that I am refusing therapy. If you are telling me that in therapy-world anyone who works something out other than seeking out a therapist is called "refusing therapy," I think that's way over the limit. If "therapy is not necessary" is the same as "mother refuses therapy" that just proves to me more that more how much I can't trust the judgement of a therapist.
Sure, I refused speech therapy. And while I was at it I refused CPR, organ transplants, and anesthesia. None of them were necessary. He was talking just fine, breathing fine, his organs were in working order b"h, and was not due for surgery any time soon b"h.

Quote:

You seem extremely on edge and defensive. If you are so sure you made the right decision then you have nothing to feel defensive about. Be happy with your decision and stop being snotty to anyone else who comments about it!

I wrote ONE snotty post in response to yours in which you brought up my post, misconstrued it, and proceeded to agree that I refused therapy. Perhaps you are mistakenly reading all my posts in the same tone as that one.

↑ HindaRochel ↓

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 3:57 pm

Stillmom, the woman, who was not a therapist, could have simply written: "Parent does not think therapy is necessary at this time. Is working with the child at home." IF she had to write anything which I doubt. I'm trying to understand why the paper had to be filled out.

This arguing is all so silly imho. THe child doesn't turn two until February, the op isn't in that child's life 24/7; does she know for certain the girl isn't saying more words? Did she run an evaluation to make certain the child was hearing/understanding/communicating in some other fashion? Does she know the mother hasn't already spoken to the doctor?

Everyone is so concerned about speed now. Children have to be speaking fluently by two, reading by four, complex math by six.

Leave them be.

↑ Love My Babes

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 4:20 pm

hey mothers if u would take ur perfectly healthy kids to therapist today, im sure half of them would be given diagnosis for things that are so unneccesary. today, therapy is a FAD! yes there are unfortunately many situations where kids do need it. but u have more kids today than ever being diagnosed with these impairments. (if thats a word). not all kids who are told they need therapy actually need it. and then there are some who need it and dont get it. but I dont think kids who are so young should be bothered by this if there really is no dire issue. especially if the kid is not urs. who said the kid doesnt talk all day at home, but is afraid to talk in front of strangers?

↑ redhot ↓

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 5:39 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

Im not sure why the person had to write any form either, but I took for granted that she DID have to fill something out based on her opinion that the kid needed to be treated. I have never come across a situation like GR described in the school systems. Typically, parents seek out evaluations and therapy, so I cant imagine why the person thought she had to go out of her way to fill out a board of ed paper on a kid who's mom didnt want therapy. The whole story is odd to me, but my response was initially written assuming a therapist was involved and according to ethics as a therapist one is not allowed to write that they think child doesnt need, if in fact they think child DOEs need. This whole thing is so tired. I am not gonna talk about it anymore because its futile! Gr's child speaks great now. therapy was not needed, and all is happy in the world.

↑ HindaRochel ↓

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 9:55 am

Amother you are incorrect. Some children do not speak till three and are quite fine. The question is if they communicate at all. I DID speak to a speech therapist and she told me not to worry until three. I know of other children who just didn't speak till three. It happens. Of course one has to keep on top of it, but that doesn't mean rushing into therapy.

The first stop is one's doctors, not ones friends, even if they are speech therapist. The pediatrican will ask the questions necessary and then go on from there.

Amother with the two year old, talk to your pediatrician Your pediatrican will no doubt want to access whether your child is hearing and whether they are communicating via non-verbal communication, and whether they are on target in other ways, and if they are normally social.

↑ gryp ↓

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 10:05 am

amother wrote:

Should I worry if my 19 month old has 4 words?

Amother, none of us can tell you that because no one here knows the situation. Which words are the 4 words, out of curiosity?

Quote:

Obviously some of the mothers on here are in denial about there kids. It's a good thing I started this thread!

yeah, whatever.

Quote:

Some children do not speak till three and are quite fine. The question is if they communicate at all.

Exactly right. It's not so much about how many words as it is about if they can communicate at all.

Quote:

I DID speak to a speech therapist and she told me not to worry until three.

Now there's a therapist I would trust!
I know many kids who didn't speak until 3, and they're at the top of their class.

Pickle Lady ↓

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 10:29 am

My daughter is the exact same age as the child in the OP's post. My daughter will also be 2 in the end of feburary. Her speech just started picking up with more words. Honestly I don't think its the OP's places to even suggest to her friend that the child needs speech therapy. It really annoying that frum jews in NY are so fast to jump to therapy as a form of free babysitting which is why the state is making the standards for therapy higher making it more difficult for people who really need it.

Why do people feel the need to expect children to grow at the exact same rate?

↑ Clarissa ↓

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 10:34 am

Pickle Lady wrote:

Well said. The state is getting more stingy because of all the people who've been milking the system for years, which is a shame for those who need it.