Funny things kids say.

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother ↓

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 3:43 pm

Kids say the funniest things. Here's mine, share yours.

My 2yr old loved loved loved breastfeeding. When I lay down with him to go to sleep he needs to reach out and touch my ahem. ( which drives me nuts but ok...) Once while laying down with him he said "mommy I love your nursie(my breasts) they are so nice.)
So of course my husbandis out of the picture in putting him to sleep Exploding anger

and when he wakes up atnight its only me. ( and when the baby and him are up at the same time and dhis having trouble getting the baby to sleep it ggets a little hectic. Wink

So last night dh was having trouble getting newborn son to sleep so I left toddler with dh and hoped for the best. bh bh miraculously toddler ds stayed with dh while he rubbed his back.

This morning again baby needed me and toddler ds miraculously lyed down with dh and heres the funny convo"tottie you dont have nursie We need to go to thestore and buy it."

5S5Sr7z3

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 3:51 pm

I asked my daughter yesterday if her teacher speaks to them in yiddish or english, she tells me 'neither, she speaks spanish'. I wish I knew where she got that from....

gp2.0

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 4:05 pm

(Btw my dd 2.5 still likes to touch my nursies. Not as much as right when she was weaned 6 months ago but still once or twice a week when I put her to sleep.)

Dd thumped her teddy bear on the back the other day and said "I'm giving she a heartbeat." NO idea where she figured that out from lol.

louise

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 4:26 pm

When my son was about three, on one of the minor fast days we told him that mommy and daddy wouldn't be eating that day. The next day he said "mommy is it a slow day today? Can you eat?". Cute!

Hashemlovesme

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 4:53 pm

(while pg)
"when you eat does the food hit the baby in the head?"

↑ amother

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 4:54 pm

my little bro was at a neighbor on chol hamoed Pesach once & said a shahakol on an apple. When asked why he did that he said "it's a Pesach apple"

abmom

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 6:12 pm

2.5 yr old sis took apart the project she made in playgroup and started crying, "I can't find the glue! I put here glue!"

pobody's nerfect

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 9:08 pm

my son did a bit of trouble he calls "rearranging"- it means throwing any and all items he can find into his sister's crib. the punishment is removing his mattress from his bed and asking him to sleep in the hallway.

my husband discovered it last time, and asked him "did you rearrange?"

"no," said the boy,"it's not rearranging."

"why not?" asked the tatty.

"mommy didn't see it, so it's not rearranging! mommy didn't move my bed!"

anonymom

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 9:14 pm

I love the Pesach Apple story.

My son was making nice to me and he was being careful not to spill my milk.

Simy

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 10:36 pm

I was driving and the radio was on
my 3 y old sitting in the back
the weatherman said
"today, a chance of showers"
my son said
"Mommy the man said I need to take a shower today"!!

chefmommy

Fri, Oct 19 2012, 11:43 am

I'm driving my kids in the car 9 yr old son and 6 yr old son and 11 yr old daughter my 6 yr old son needed to ask where do babies come out from (he knows they r in mothers) so I decided to just say mother goes to the hospital and the doctors take the baby out of the stomach.

The 9 yr old asked but ma you were born in the car (which I was) so how is that possible.... embarrassed

At the same time my daughter said I thought they only cut the stomach by c-section so maybe I would have told her the other option but my 2 boys were staring right at me so I just told my daughter don't worry u still have time before you have kids. Whew

For the record I am not preg but my sisters r and lots of pple around them so they get an education.

Moonlight ↓

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 7:45 pm

My 3 yr.old dd: my big toe is the shamash

MiracleMama

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 8:13 pm

A few years ago when my daughter was maybe 4 or 5 we were in the airport with a delayed flight and passing the time looking around the stores in the terminal. We were at a costume jewelry kiosk and she grabbed this necklace with an enormous cross covered in bright colored rhinestones and excitedly shouted that we should buy it for my DH. shock

When I asked her why on earth she said very matter-of-factly, "It's a 'T' for 'Tatty'". LOL

amother

Seashell

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 8:52 am

My 2 year old daughter had a plastic fork and one of the tines broke off and she said "Ima, it's pinky is missing!"

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 9:02 am

When I was teaching , we were learning the letter b.
It was the beginning of the year, so we learned how bees make honey (for Rosh Hashana).

When one of the imas came to pick up her daughter she asked what did you learn today?

Her DD answered, "we learned about the birds and the bees."
embarrassed

↑ Moonlight

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 10:38 am

"Mommy, when we push the (volume ) button on the computer, it sends a message to Uncle Moishy to sing a little louder?"

thunderstorm ↓

Sat, Dec 24 2016, 7:13 pm

DH and I discovered our cabinet that houses our Shabbos party nosh, has been raided. None of my kids are admitting to being the culprits. So jokingly I said, it would be quite pathetic if we would need to install a security camera on our nosh cabinet. In all seriousness DS age 6 says " you should make sure it's a fingerprint camera"

smile12345

Sat, Dec 24 2016, 7:42 pm

My 3 year old wanted to know how come the lights of his menorah had gone out and DH's were still lit.
I told him that perhaps it was because his was with candles and DH's with oil.
So he asked 'so the oil lights will last for 8 days?'

Israeli_C

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:44 am

I needed a pick me up so started reading this thread...

Wanted to add some gems from my 3 year old DD (not sure if I posted them before, but worth a respost!):

*while sitting in the square, a biker with his leathers, tattoos, bald head and bandana on top walked past.* DD starts giggling hysterically, and I ask her why, she points at him (within earshot!!) and exclaims "He think's he's a lady! Look! He's wearing a mitpachat!"

*shortly after her twin sisters were born* "Dor in gan has a new baby brother" "Ahh, yeah?" "Yep, but he only got ONE!"

*when talking about a boy in gan who annoys her called Uriel Tov (first name changed to be anon!) "UGH!! I don't know why they called him Uriel Tov!!! They need to call him URIEL LO TOV!!!"

*my 2 year old son smears his face with date spread* It's the day after we had guests for shabbat, including a mizrachi man with a big beard "Look! Mom! He looks like our guest!!"

(background info- I converted) *walking into her gan, she turns to me and from NOWHERE says loudly* "Nachon that you were once a [non jew]?"

*after I gave DD medicine for pinworms the day after Leil Seder, she called me over to her and whispered "The worms in my bottom are doing yetziat mitzrayim!"

Rappel

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:52 am

DS2 has an amazing knack for funny lyrics.

Right now, the only song I can think of is the "where's the cake" song they sing in mishpachton. Instead of "ha'ugah" , he says "ayuda" (DH speaks Spanish with them), so for him, the lyrics are

"Ain ain Ain chagigah, bli bli bli ayuda. az eipho eipho eipho eipho...ayuda?!!!"

He sings this song with great feeling.

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