Getting teen girl to do (admit she has) Homework

amother ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 9:09 am

My other kids did all their home work w/o a problem. This teen says she does it all in school, which is hard to believe.

Do I wait until I hear from the school, and then I'll have to deal with the school and her, or call the school- which I'd rather not do. I'd have to speak to the principal- because there are so many teachers, speaking to a teacher would not be enough. I don't want to do a babylike reward chart for a High School girl, and besides how many High school teachers would I need to cooperate with me for it to work?

I don't want to treat her differently, and yet I don't want to wait for serious trouble. How do I approach this?

Ruchel

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 9:17 am

I did most of my homework in school - during boring classes embarrassed

Have a heart to heart talk, don't say you doubt that she does them but say you doubt the serious of the school so you want to see the homework.

If you see indeed there is not a lot of work, then you know. If you see the school is not serious about it, you know too and can change her. If you see she doesn't do them, discuss it with her. Maybe she doesn't manage? or she can't cope with all the stuff? or she doesn't want to? find out why.

good luck!

greenfire

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 9:22 am

well the question is ... does she do it in school or not ... some kids wanna get their work done asap so they don't waste their precious home time ... definately get in touch with the school - kids have a main teacher usually (at least in my dd school) ... what have her grades been like in the past ... and stickers are FUN can build rewards geared for teens - but you gotta first find out what is really happening.

Pickle Lady

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 9:45 am

I HATED doing homework. I felt that it was a waste of time and was tedious. Many times I would just not tell my mom I had homework or only do a small amount of it. My grades did suffer because I rarely did my homework. Honestly it is a miracle I made it through school and graduated college.

I think you need to teach her discipline with doing her homework, I wish my mom, did that to me but I know I would have been angry with her at the time but happy about it later. How about you tell her that she has to do a certain amount of time at home of school work and if she doesn't have any homework then she needs to review that day's lesson.

whatever

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 9:46 am

I always did my homework in school. I'd rather spend my lunch hour doing it then being busy with it at home. my mother was very supportive about that. she didnt care if it wasnt 100% perfect as long as she new I put all my efforts in at school cause I wanted to be all available to help her in the evenings.

grin

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 2:35 am

chocolate moose wrote:

At some point, a child has to become responsible for themselves.

I agree. I think it's degrading and insulting at that age to be involved in her schollwrok, unless she's doing the asking. (as in - Ima, can you help me with this? and I usually can't because I've forgotten my algebra or whatever.) IMO the chinuch for that must be in the elementary school years.

BTW, the fact that I've forgotten much of what I learned back then has brought home to me how useless most of it is and I've slowly come to the sad conclusion (and my kids know this) that most of the material they're learning in HS is so irrelavant to life it's absurd. I tell them the most important thing in school is to behave. (It could be that I would feel differently if they weren't generally self-motivated as well as smart, but I also feel that self-motivation comes in part from not being pushed and making it their business, not mine.)
They're old enough to know that this is building their future - when you come right done to it, noone want sto be destined for minimum wage jobs because of simple laziness of not doing homeowrd for school.