Breaking off a wedding

amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 9:37 pm

A friend just told me she might be breaking off her engagement . I am in middle of making a gown for her wedding... Do I continue???

su7kids

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 11:23 pm

ask your friend.

Marion

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 2:38 am

Would you make the dress anyway, and are you likely to wear it on another occasion? If so, finish the gown. If not, speak with your friend.

miriamnechama ↓

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 4:30 am

oh amother I had a similar story, my nephew got engaed a year and a ahalf ago and I was like great!! it was shevat time, I wend and bout this really nice shiffon outfit that costed me about 700 nis and then decided to splurge and buy a new shaitel for 1200 nis, well actually I gave one back in cus it was ruined so the exchanged it for me and I added on the difference. about 2 or 300 nis. ok when I had bought all these purchases, what did I find out tha the engagement was off!! I was like so what do I do with the outfit I bought??!! I decided to wear it for seder night on pesach and then simchas torah. by the following pesach he was engaged again and married in tammuz. but I still got use out of it AND I wore it to teh wedding. though all I did then was a long chiffon skirt, cus teh skirt taht I bought with it was not matim and the skirt came out including sewing to maybe 100nis. but I have it for other weddings as well.

I suppose you could first use it for yom tov or save it for another chasuna....

Dh always tells me what you can wear to a chasuna can and should be worn for shabbos and yom tov.. does yom tov and shabbos deserve less tan a chasuna ie just by a chasuna does one have to be out nicest/?

iyh I'm looking fotward to wearing my chiffon again this coming yom tov.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 4:50 am

sorry amother but I think it's pretty sad that your friend is breaking her engagement and your concern is the gown

edited by moderator

AGINY

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 5:07 am

I am so confused. Why was the above post reported. I think people on this site are way too quick to report.

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 5:18 am

greenfire

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 5:47 am

I'm sure there are two separate issues - since you started the gown you might as well just finish it ...

as for the break-up - yup seems a little more emotional than "breaking up with your gown"

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 6:07 am

first of all its very sad that she's breaking her engagement

I had the same story when my brother broke his engagement, we all had our gowns already (bought) so we decided to put it away. then I got engaged and a few weeks b4 my wedding my brother got engaged again, as a married woman I couldn't wear the gown I bought at the first place cuz it was matching to my yourger sisters so it wouldnt make sense. my sister wore hers and I got a new one.

↑ amother

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 6:23 am

OP here... thanks for all your replys.

Btw the dress was NOT my biggest concern - it was the only thing I had controll over in this situation. That amother post made me feel REALLY bad.

Just because I didn't raise other issues does not mean its my only concern. They happen to be working with therapists and Rabbi's and I trust them. My dress cost alot to make for no reason.

I decided to make it for her wedding anyways.. either now or later... Its WAYYYY to fancy for Shabbat... it has a long train.

Garden

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 7:55 am

I totally hear your concern. I had a friend also that until the day of her wedding was unsure if she was going to walk to the chuppa and the whole time was very unsure if we should go ahead with the preps..so we did go ahead as if nothing was going on and b'h she got married and is very happily married!

lamplighter

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 1:19 pm

I found out taht my brohters engagment was off as I was picking up my gown (it was 3 days before the wedding, a complete shock). I ended up wearing it almost 2 years later to my best friends wedding. we did have 2 other family weddings but they were both winter weddings (we actually all were mine being the latest on march 1st).

chocolate moose

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 10:41 am

If she's paying you, then it's a job.....oh, do you mean you're making a dress for her or for yourself?

shoshb

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 11:12 am

You could finish the gown and donate it to a gmach.

↑ miriamnechama

Sun, Oct 14 2007, 1:31 am

you know what's funny when I found out that the shidduch was off I decided to wear it to my own son's chlaka... it was still a simcha and my simcha so I didn't feel bad after all one bit.

btw I was told taht simchas torahis the time to wear the nicest thing you have dunno who so off to shul I went inw hat I wore for the weddingin july and no one said anything. dh was happy so was I and that was the mai thing. (chaval it should sit in the cupboard idle...)