Kaporas - how many chickens?

amother ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:21 am

I just did a pregnancy test and it is positive B"H. Very Happy

This is where my dilema comes in. I am obviously not showing at all, and my minhag is for a pregnant lady to use three chickens (one for her and a chicken and a rooster for the unborn child since it is not known what the gender is). I was planning to do kaporas tonight, and the entire community is there doing it at the same time. Do you think I should do three, or since it is unconfirmed at this point by my ob-gyn can I get away with one. I also don't want my VERY observant five year old daughter asking questions.

What do you think?

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:23 am

What about doing the chicken for yourself and then privately use money for your unborn child?

yOungM0mmy

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:28 am

Where I do it, they have boxes that you can put the chicken in for all those squeemish ladies who dont actually want the chicken near them. 2 years ago I was about 2 months preg, and my little sibs were watching to see, obviously. DH got a box, put the chickens in and did it over me - once they're in the box, you cant see if there is 1 or 3 inside. And then he can take them to wherever you put the used chickens, and take them back out there - DD doesnt have to go with him and see how many he takes or puts back.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:49 am

For sure do 3. Is there a way to do it at a different time though? Or if there's only one opportunity for Kapparos in your community, how about going right at the beginning or end-- and having DH get all the chickens and then maybe you could walk down the block, out of sight, and he could come to you?

I actually have a friend whose DH, one year, lined the car trunk with tons of newspaper, then brought the chickens to her and brought them back to get shechted.

Good luck. It's like mikvah night-- it's something you gotto do-- and part of it is making up excuses and finding creative ways to maintain your privacy.

Pickle Lady

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 5:12 am

My husband and I were taught to do each chicken at a time. All three do not go over my head at once. So that way no one really notices what I am really doing.

drumjj

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 5:41 am

when I was pregnant but didnt want ppl to know I didnt go to do kaporos with chickens I also felt so nauseous that there was no way I was going to smell gross chickens

greenfire

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 5:51 am

gosh I avoid the live chickens at all costs ... my little dd came home the other day and detailed the gory details Puke

before I realized what she was talking about I already had too much info ... Puke

chocolate moose ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 8:55 am

We hear this question every year.

Don't worry, ppls are SO busy with themselves that they aren't really looking at anyone else.

jewgal84 ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 6:52 pm

Last year I had to do 5 chickens...

My dh put first the 3 girls in a box over my head and then the 2 boys in a box over my head.

We just took the chickens away from where everyone else was doing it Very Happy

Quote:

Don't worry, ppls are SO busy with themselves that they aren't really looking at anyone else.

Doesn't mean she won't feel self conscious...

B'Sha'a Tova!!

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 6:55 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

We hear this question every year.

Don't worry, ppls are SO busy with themselves that they aren't really looking at anyone else.

not true

I've heard plenty of comments made about seeing who is pregnant at kapores Rolling Eyes

ok what would a person do if they strongly suspect they are pregnant but its too early to do a test?

↑ jewgal84 ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 7:02 pm

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

We hear this question every year.

Don't worry, ppls are SO busy with themselves that they aren't really looking at anyone else.

not true

I've heard plenty of comments made about seeing who is pregnant at kapores Rolling Eyes

ok what would a person do if they strongly suspect they are pregnant but its too early to do a test?

Why would it be too early to take a test yet suspect that you may be pregnant?

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 7:35 pm

because my period isn't due yet, its only been 9 days since mikvah
thats why its too early

why do I suspect? because I have a strong sympton which and an instinct.

↑ jewgal84

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 6:02 am

amother wrote:

because my period isn't due yet, its only been 9 days since mikvah
thats why its too early

why do I suspect? because I have a strong sympton which and an instinct.

A blood test is pretty accurate and I'm almost positive can detect any sign of pregnancy as early as the 1st day of fetus, why not try that?

Otherwise, consult a rav...

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 6:58 pm

FYI, I asked a Rov and he said you need three chickens if the pregnancy is after forty days.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 7:08 pm

amother wrote:

I've heard plenty of comments made about seeing who is pregnant at kapores Rolling Eyes

ok what would a person do if they strongly suspect they are pregnant but its too early to do a test?

YOu can say that was me this year. One lady actually had the CHUTZPAH to send her husband over to talk to my DH and see how many chickens were were using. I was PO-ED! Dh said not to worry, what good is it going to do? Some people just never give up and have to know! Rolling Eyes

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 7:11 pm

I always thought that if you are pregnant you do two chickens. Last year I did kaparos on tzom gedalia and then on erev shabbos I found out that I was pregnant and Yom Kippur was on Sunday night. My husband called a rav and he said that we have to do it over with two chickens one for a girl and one for a boy. So motzei shabbos we put the kids in the car and my husband brought the chickens to the car. My kids were a little confused why we did the chickens twice but they were just excited to see the chickens again.

↑ amother ↓

Fri, Sep 21 2007, 8:29 am

oh boy, I only did 2.
one with my baby boy, I held him, and took care of that, and then one for me, we asked someone, and they told us to do this. but he wasnt a rav.. do I have to go back and do it again with 3??

pinktichel

Fri, Sep 21 2007, 10:29 am

Quote:

My husband called a rav and he said that we have to do it over with two chickens one for a girl and one for a boy.

That's bec you had already done one chicken for yourself, making three altogether.

↑ amother

Fri, Sep 21 2007, 11:16 am

When my husband called the rav he said that I had to do 2 again bec. when I did the girl the first time I didn't have the baby in mind.