Am I the only one?

amother

Bronze ↓

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 10:51 pm

I know I'm not the only one to have burned out and quit teaching, but every time I talk to someone else who's quit, they always say "oh I LOVED the actual teaching and the kids but left because I couldn't handle the administration/parents/paperwork/low pay". Well, for me, it was the actual teaching. The kids were horrible and I couldn't figure out how to get them to be less horrible. I feel embarrassed about that though, like what's wrong with me that I couldn't handle the actual teaching? Has anyone else left mainly because of the kids?

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 11:02 pm

Yes I did. I don't think the kids were bad, they definitely were difficult though, and mainly I didn't have the amount of patience and emotional energy to calmly deal with them anymore. And to then come home to my own kids and be there for them with more patience and keep from screaming from overwhelm.
I actually was ok with the administration and loved socializing with the other teachers.
Just when it's the 15th kid to cry for whatever reason its so hard to muster up the sympathy they deserve!
Also I wanted to do more exciting things!

smss

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 11:06 pm

Sometimes it's about finding your niche. You might be right for high school but not elementary. Or vice versa. And if you were teaching middle school, that is known to be very... challenging. If you found something else that you love, great! If you still dream of teaching, maybe try a different grade.

amother

Teal ↓

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 11:09 pm

I've left schools where the discipline was dreadful. But BH I'm now in a place where whenever I end up leaving of my own accord, iy"H it'll be because of the marking. I started out as a single girl with lotsa time on my hands, but right now with a family BH, I just can't deal with all the "homework."

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 11:11 pm

amother wrote:

Taught for 4 years. 3 different schools, so it was definitely me and not the environment. I suppose some people might not be sharing the full truth, that's a good point.

4 years, 3 schools - very fast changes. It takes time (a few years) to learn the culture of a school at which point the kids become easier to deal with.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 11:46 pm

Well, I didn't have a choice. They didn't want me back. And the last school was probably going to fire me too, but I told them I wasn't planning on coming back the next year before that could happen. Anyway, I'm not interested in figuring out what I could have done differently or how I can make it work. I will never set foot in a classroom again. I just wanted to know if others had similar reasoning, because I haven't met anyone who does (although as someone pointed out, they might but don't admit to it publicly).

seeker ↓

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 12:04 am

amother wrote:

OP, I'll be blunt here, if the schools didn't want you back it means that you're not meant to be a teacher.

Way to kick someone when they're down, amother. That's basically what she was saying anyway.

OP, you are not the only one. Teaching is not for everyone. There are also quite a few rotten teachers who somehow kept their jobs and many would be happier if they too would realize they're not cut out for it. It must have been so frustrating for you but now that you're ready to move on, don't put yourself down over it.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 12:08 am

amother wrote:

OP, I'll be blunt here, if the schools didn't want you back it means that you're not meant to be a teacher.

Did you somehow miss that I'm well aware of this fact? I quit teaching. I'm not interested in figuring out where I went wrong or how I can go back because I know it's not meant to be. I simply wanted to know if my main reason for giving up is that unusual.

notshanarishona

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 1:01 am

Their are plenty of people who are not meant to be teachers or who can't do it without mentoring and training. Good for you for recognizing it and you have a choice to go to college and learn how to be a better teacher or retrain in something else. It's a common misconception that anyone can teach.

c.c.cookie

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 1:10 am

I felt that way when I taught in elementary school. I seriously dreaded going to work every day. It was horrible. I finally left after 5 years, and the following year I started teaching in high school, which B"H was a game changer for me. But I can definitely relate to leaving because of the kids!!

oliveoil ↓

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 1:30 am

amother wrote:

I think where you're losing people is that you blamed your quitting on the horrible kids.

But when you tell us you've been kicked out of three, almost four, schools - well, that paints a different picture.

You didn't really leave because of the kids. You left because you weren't good at it.

amother

Plum ↓

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 2:29 am

Believe me, you're not the only one. My first job out of college was teaching elementary school. I hated every second of it. I could not figure out how to get the kids to listen to anything I said or do anything they were supposed to. Another teacher said "Don't worry, every teacher goes home crying every day their first year." I asked why she stuck with it and she said she wasn't qualified to do anything else. So I quit after like 3 months and found something else- publishing text books. That field is filled with burnt-out teachers! Best of luck with whatever you do end up doing!

imasinger ↓

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 5:34 am

Of course there are people who quit "because of the kids.". Or rather, the way that you might have better phrased it, because they didn't have patience
(not that the kids are to blame; you said that clearly)
to deal with a class full of kids.

I'm a lifelong teacher, been at it in one way or another for more than four decades. I have a huge amount of patience for kids, and tremendous delight in watching them grow.

My DH is a software engineer. He can sit in front of a computer screen all day, and patiently and methodically go through a program to find and fix the bugs. Me, I'd go stark, raving mad and start throwing things if I had to do that for more than an hour or two.

My SIL is studying for his CPA exams. I'd be a complete and total impatient failure with all those columns of numbers. But I can sit and practice a piece of music over and over until I get it right, and that brings me great joy.

So it's a good thing I'm a music teacher.

B"H, the world has many occupations, and each person has a niche. May you find yours soon.

You might get a wider response if you post this in "working women", since most people in "teacher's room" probably enjoy teaching.

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 5:54 am

You’re normal. I didn’t set out to be a teacher, but between jobs I’ve subbed in nursery through HS and hated every minute. There is no shame in disliking a particular occupation, nor is there shame in switching fields if you find yourself in the wrong one. And teaching is one field that you really have to love, for your sake and the students’. You can probably make good cabinets even if you hate woodworking but you can’t teach well unless you love it.

And as a PP said, people tend to put a positive spin on tbeir their stories and make it sound as if it was the long hours, the commute, the lack of resources, the evil administration, anything but the work itself, because they think it sounds bad. IDK why. People don’t think it’s bad to say they hated accounting or being a lawyer.

amother

↑ Bronze

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 6:41 am

oliveoil wrote:

The reason I wasn't good at it was because of the kids! I would have been an amazing teacher if kids mostly behaved and if the things I was taught and trained to do when they acted up worked. I was highly trained, btw, in a very prestigious teaching program at a top university. Now, clearly the good teachers are able to handle misbehavior better or command such a presence that it rarely happens in the first place. I don't know why this particular level of misbehavior was more than I could handle when other can manage it, but, well, yes, it was the kids that did me in.

↑ imasinger

Fri, Jun 15 2018, 6:46 am

Oh.

Well then, I take back what I said about your not blaming the kids.

I think you might get more sympathy if you would say, "I never got the hang of classroom management", rather than "those rotten kids just didn't do what they were supposed to."

My advice in moving forward into other career paths is that you do the work it takes to accept responsibility for your imperfections, and look for help and mentoring whenever possible, instead of pointing fingers when things go wrong.