Good Enough Parenting Tricks

notshanarishona

Thu, May 03 2018, 6:06 am

amother wrote:

Student is in danger of failing because homework grades are low, or because overall grades are low?

I find it hard to believe that a child is failing a subject (I.e. not mastering it) due solely to not doing homework. A child that can't pass a test without doing homework is probably not being taught properly according to his/her learning style.

As far as needing someone to remind her, if the teacher really cares she can try calling the home a few nights to remind the student, or offering incentives for remembering.

I really doubt the homework is the only issue here.

As another teacher here... It is so common for kids to learn something, do it well, and then promptly forget it. Especially if you don't have that subject daily. If you don't do review homework, then you need to waste 10-15 minutes of class time each next class reviewing and accomplish much less. Minimal homework for kriah, reading, math, etc. Is definitely important. Also their are some skills that don't need reteaching but Judy continuous practice I..e multiplication tables.

amother

↑ Bisque

Thu, May 03 2018, 6:53 am

amother wrote:

Yes. Student is in danger of failing because homework grades are low, or because overall grades are low. That is obvious, no?

I have a question for you: To whom does the child belongs to, to the teacher or to you? If you are the parent then IMO you should take interest in the child's study and make sure they do their homework and possibly help them.

Education is a team play with the student, the teacher and the parent. If the parent excludes themelf from this team one send the message over to the child that home work is not important. School is not important. Education is not important. In many subjects, home work and repetition of the subject is extremely important, for example language study.
There is no way an adult can learn a foreign language without extensive repetition, so how can a child master it without repetition?

You know who is responsible to remind the child of doing homework and offer incentives? *The parent* .(as the teacher is not in the child's home).

It's called *home work* which is supposed to be done at *home* with an adult who lives at home. The child should do the work but parent needs and must make sure it's done.
IMO anything else is simple laziness. And no, paying tuition does not let you get away from this responsibility.

BayMom

Thu, May 03 2018, 9:37 am

cheeseblintz wrote:

To the mom who leaves her 2 year old in the tub for 45 minutes but checks on him...please don't do this. It's not a good enough parenting hack. It's legitimately dangerous. I don't take my eyes off the tub when a toddler is in there. Not worth it.

I remember a story in the news a few years ago of a mother who left her 2 and 4 year olds in the tub while she watched tv in the living room. The mom fell asleep on the couch and when she woke up she found both kids drowned in the tub R'L. They probably became tired and fell asleep too.

amother

Denim

Thu, May 03 2018, 10:06 am

amother wrote:

I’m a supermum. My house is spotless, laundry folded, delicious meals, beautifully dressed kids. And I work full time.
But I don’t enjoy playing with my kids. I’m goal driven- I read my kids books too fast.
Last night at dinner the kids had soup, I served the main and was washing up the soup bowls. My daughter asked me to come and talk to her while she eats!!
My very not good enough parenting trick. 😳
But I should prob create a S/O for this topic.

It sounds like you're avoiding connecting emotionally with your kids by burying yourself in housework.

mommyla

Thu, May 03 2018, 11:40 am

tichellady wrote:

Take a chill pill. I have never heard of anyone making young children wait between milk and meat. I’m not sure why this is so devastating to you.

Also depends on how you define "young children." When my kids had a bottle or cup of milk before bed every night, I never made them wait. From what I've seen (and as per my rav), most people don't enforce significant wait time until a child is 9 or older, and even then it doesn't necessarily have to be the full time that adults wait.

↑ lucky14 ↓

Thu, May 03 2018, 3:01 pm

cheeseaddict wrote:

For teeth brushing kids who hate it - this hack worked for me:
We line up in front of the bathroom mirror and all brush our teeth at the same time, making as much toothpaste foam as possible (gross, but it works!).

I yell out instructions like "now the back", "now behind the top teeth!", and it becomes a game.

I love this!

SixOfWands

Thu, May 03 2018, 3:34 pm

cinnamon wrote:

Do you really think it's the parent's job to make sure the kids do home work?
Where is the kids' resposibility?
Or the teacher's who'se actual JOB it is to make sure the kid is learning?

One way for a teacher to assess whether or not a child has grasped a concept is to see how she can use and apply it on her own, in homework. Then the teacher can intervene and offer assistance, or re-teach if a lot of kids are struggling, before testing. I'm not a fan of a lot of homework, but I do believe in practice and reinforcing and assessing via homework.

And yes, I've sent my kids to school with notes saying that they spent a reasonable time trying to do their homework, but struggled with the concept and couldn't do it.

Then again, I also view it as my job as a parent to instill good study skills and reinforce school rules, including homework.

More on point, my "good enough" tricks: (1) Wacky Mac; (2) you need to be in your room and quiet by X o'clock (which is usually 3 hours later than people here use as bedtimes); going to sleep is up to you.

amother

Babypink

Thu, May 03 2018, 3:36 pm

amother wrote:

Stopped telling my ADHD boys to behave in stores or restaurants or shuls. I'm just sick of managing everything so if someone complains I say "Honey this is how God made them, you're welcome to take it up with Him.".

So long as you take the same attitude at home -- they don't need to behave, Hashem made them that way -- and tell the school the same things, then I guess I can't argue the point.

rachel6543

Thu, May 03 2018, 4:47 pm

Baby gets a bath weekly, unless she was playing outside and actually got dirty.

Big kid is a picky eater. I won’t make special food for him (anymore). If he doesn’t like what I’m offering for dinner he can have fruit and a PB sandwich.

Breakfast for dinner or quesadillas or similar quick meals are a regular weeknight dinner.

Disposable dishes when I’m overwhelmed or don’t want to deal with dishes

As my oldest kid gets bigger he gets more age appropriate chores to help out. Dairy dishes are now his responsibility most of the time.

Just a few I can think of off the top of my head

↑ cinnamon

Thu, May 03 2018, 5:18 pm

There are a few posts here that list giving the kids chores as a good enough parenting trick. I think giving the kids chores isn't 'good enough parenting' It's very good parenting. I would even go so far as to say that not giving kids any way to contribute to the home is worst neglect then bathing them only twice a week...

amother

↑ Dodgerblue

Thu, May 03 2018, 6:03 pm

amother wrote:

Overall grades are low, because she doesn't review vocabulary or information on a nightly basis. Lowered further by missing homeworks.
Generally, a kid who is weaker, and not doing well on tests, completes homework and gets free points from there. Or, you have the kids who are doing perfectly on tests, but slack off on homework. Here we see a kid who is not making it without the work, and refusing to do the work.

Students can only fully absorb information that they process themselves. During class they are occupied trying to get the information down on round one. To fully process it, you need to look at it again. That is the goal of homework. Sometimes homework is having students review words that they need to memorize. Yes, memorizing isn't the goal of education, but some things need to be committed to memory to be an effective learner.

Teachers work long hours in the classroom, and then bring work home. A teacher is not able to call a student each night to remind about homework- that is the job of the parent. Parents outsource most of a child's education to the teachers, but they need to do some at home.

amother

↑ Jade

Thu, May 03 2018, 6:20 pm

amother wrote:

I made a spin off on hwk

↑ HeartyAppetite

Thu, May 10 2018, 8:52 pm

I feel like I should respond regarding leaving my toddler alone in the bath. Thanks for your concern and bringing it to my attention. I no longer leave him alone. I honestly wasn’t aware how dangerous it was. I thought if I made sure to leave the water about 2 inches and constantly checked On him it was fine. I even asked my older more experienced sister, and she said it’s totaly ok, as long as I check up...
But now I see how concerning it is, and I’m glad to say I no longer leave him unsupervised.
I had to change my schedule around a bit, but I would never (intentionally) do anything to jeopardize my babies safety.

fbmommy

Thu, May 10 2018, 9:02 pm

HeartyAppetite wrote:

You could never be too careful!
I once peeked in on a 5 yr old in the bath who was starting to fall asleep. It was a warm steamy room, he was tired, and saw him nodding off!!
Since then I am much more vigilant even with older kids!