Ready to snap, help me make a schedule

amother

Cyan ↓

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 9:25 am

For my kids who wake up at 6 and fight till we leave at 8:45. And fight from when we come home 3:30 till bed at 7. They are 2 and 4. hardly ever play nicely. When they wake up, I usually give them some cereal and then we have to get dressed, pack lunches and snacks, and clean up from breakfast. When they come home , I always have to make dinner as I work and pick them up straight. If I am not constantly on top of them, they are either fighting or dumping oUT a hamper, ripping toilet paper , messing up the house. You get the gist. Help me please. I am very frustrated.

amother

Purple

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 9:50 am

I can try. A few tips thay helped me at that stage. Firstly when cooking dinner inwould try give them activities to do at the kitchen table so we are in the same room etc....ex play dough...stickers....stampers....cutting out toy magazines...threading with pasta tubes....etc. this way while they are busy you can facilitate play "can you make a play dough hotdog etc" while cooking too.
Another thing that got me thru is every Sunday I cooked (with kids or while husband played with them) one thing in bulk. One week shnitsel one so meatsauce one wk meat pastry etc so on hectic days supper comes half from freezer ex meatsuace and I just put up rice.
Not sure those two help but it's a start. Can your 4 yr old do stuff alone a little like listen to an audio while 2 yr old is with you doing somethinf else for 20 min....?
You could try a chesed/helper girl an hr a day or twice a wk to play witg them in a different room so you can breathe when you come in.
As for the morning thats tough....not sure how I would tackle that. Hopefully someone else has good ideas.

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 9:54 am

kids fight when they are bored. If you keep that in mind I think it will help you. Make sure they have something to do and arent just bored while you clean up etc.
you can have them join what you are doing in a fun way, or set them up with a game before you do stuff. worst case scenario let them watch youtube for 20 minutes in the morning while you clean up and prepare lunches in peace and quiet.

amother

Slateblue

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 7:46 pm

Are they fighting to get your attention.

Will a chart help?
I would break up the chart by time, maybe every 45 min.
Extra smiley if they helped each other, talked nicely, etc.

There needs to be posted rules so that they know what is expected from them.
Here are my 5 favorites
1. Listen the first time.
2. Speak only with nice words.
3. One person talks at a time.
4. Hands, feet, and objects are kept to ourselves.
5. Take care of your stuff and return them to their home.

Also make sure everything is ready the night before.
Shoes and backpacks by the front door, including mommy's
Lunches ready made in there lunch bag in the fridge.
Clothes completely laid out, underwear, socks, clothes, including mommy.
You can go as far as having breakfast already.

Cooking in bulk, and making a double batch and freezing 1/2also helps in the afternoon.

Have a snack ready for them as soon as they walk into the door.
Kids are always starving when they come home.

Hope this helps.

amother

↑ Cyan ↓

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 7:49 pm

amother wrote:

This is very helpful. Thanks so much!!

amother

↑ Cyan

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 7:59 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

I also find having the kids listen to story CDs for their age level helps, after school. They can color by the kitchen table or play with play dough while listening and you are preparing dinner.

Good idea ! Any ideas what is age appropriate for a 4 yr old boy? 2 yr old I'm assuming there's nothing they would understand yet

keym ↓

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 8:11 pm

amother wrote:

Good idea ! Any ideas what is age appropriate for a 4 yr old boy? 2 yr old I'm assuming there's nothing they would understand yet

My 3 yr old started really following 613 Torah Ave, Baruch learns about Shabbos, Baruch makes a Simcha, professor Green, Kivi and Tuki, and Marvelous Middos Machine. He doesnt always follow the story, but he loves thesongs and sings along.

amother

Natural

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 8:16 pm

Op I had the same problem as you when my kids were that age. I realized that I really need to up my game organization wise. I wasn’t coping without it. Some people might do well, for me I need my schedule to look like this in order to have everyone calm and on time:
-Clothing, briefcases, shoes, prepared the night before. Cereal in a bowl at the table. My 4 year old was up before 2 year old. I’d put a cup of milk in the fridge and she’d pour it in herself and eat.
- only super simple suppers if preparing when kids are around. I make lots of food for the freezer, and only make side dishes while they’re around. Thursday’s we make pizza together, and another day a week I make eggs or pancakes. Sunday is leftovers. The other two days are from the freezer or crockpot.
- I got books on tape from the library. The kids sit quietly and listen. It’s amazing. I also got cds with some sort of teacher singing and playing games. Look up Ella Jenkins.
- I give my kids jobs. I have some spray bottles with mrs. Bronner’s heavily diluted. I give them a Shmattah and let them spray. I also give them onions to peel. It takes them forever.
- I served supper at 4:00, then baths, and they’d play calmly the rest of the afternoon. They were much more relaxed. Sometimes I’d read books. I also gave them snacks, usually fruit, veg, nuts, sometimes a cookie, etc. When my husband came home at 6, they’d eat a little more if they were hungry again, and then go to sleep.
The Summers are a lot easier. Then they can play outside.

tobee ↓

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 8:23 pm

I have this a lot too. Two kiddos,who are constantly fighting. I can totally relate.They r not seeking attention since we bh only have 2 of them. Def. Bring some toys to the kitchen area so they're in the same room as u. Must keep them occupied so they don't bicker. Playdough,magna tiles,Lego,coloring etc.
Watching something is reserved for when I am desperate aka trying to pack when traveling for shabbos, or trying to get the house shipshape with two toddlers.I only do this rarely(once a week) simply because a) terrible for development and b) when we're done it's hard to tear them away. I have friends(with toddlers) who officially put their kids on a daily basis in front of a screen so they can keep their homes spotless-I asked for their secret. My house looks nothing like theirs (if only) but this is how I do it. And, in the warm months it will be much easier since the kids r outdoors for a lot of the time with me there to keep an eye (think super easy dinners),so there's no need to entertain them.

↑ tobee

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 8:30 pm

Very important point. If ur working and don't want to cook in advance (like me) keep the dinners super simple all year round. Nothing fancy. Main dish and side dish and u can cook one soup at the beginning of the week, freeze the leftovers and pull it out as needed. Think- grilled cutlets and cubed potatoes.or salmon fish,fish sticks for kids( happens to be my 3 yr old eats salmon beautifully) and mashed potatoes, or a salad. Hang in there, it gets a lot easier as they get older!

↑ thunderstorm

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 9:02 pm

keym wrote:

To add to this list : Uncle Moishy tapes, Shmul Kunda tapes , even if they are too young to understand they enjoy it.
If your kids speak or understand Yiddish, the Mitzvah Kinder series , Alef Bais Velt and Middos Velt

esther36 ↓

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 9:11 pm

Middosman my kids love! Even the girls from 3+ forsure and sometimes my two year old listens with headphones too when we travel and he loved it! Yael books for little girls or dovi books for little boys u can buy in local Judaica stores. They're books with CDs. I also take out from local library before we travel... Curious George, berenstain bears and any other kids books they have with CDs. They keep the kids busy for a very long time;) good luck!

↑ keym ↓

Sat, Jan 20 2018, 10:16 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

The thing that I found with the Shmuel Kunda story tapes is that they got too long and boring for my kids. Not enough songs to keep my youngerbones interested.

amother

Rose

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 8:28 am

I agree that they may be hungry (what time do you come home with them?) I found that I had to prepare my DS's dinners in advance and freeze (I freeze in dinner size portions) and I take one dinner out for him the night before and put it in the fridge (chicken and rice, meatballs and spaghetti etc). I then throw it in the oven for 15min (or you can microwave) and it's ready. He is much more functional after he eats.

Aylat

Mon, Jan 22 2018, 5:09 am

tobee wrote:

My simple meals are - pasta and cheese (and sometimes a sauce), baked or mashed potatoes, eggs, sandwiches/toasted sandwi hes, couscous, rice. Add tuna or chick peas from a tin to get some protein. I'm lucky that my kids naturally snack on vegetables all day so I don't bother about it for supper. Sometimes I pull out a packet of frozen veg or a tin of corn. I normally do one 'supermarket' meal a week, 2 if it's a hard week - frozen pizza, french fries, burrekas. If it's a really hard day, cereal and/or sandwiches.