Downstairs neighbors keep complaining about the noise

takeiteasy

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 1:18 pm

My neighbor upstairs really tries very hard her kids should not jump, run and more but.... kids are kids.
We are an adult family so our apartment is quieter and we hear everything.
Lately I realized lots of noise come from the neighbor next door to me. I know she does not care if her kids jump and dance and run....
If you are respectful and your kids are not on running and jumping a whole day incessantly I don't think there is much the neighbors can do.
Sorry you have to go thru this.

↑ etky

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 1:19 pm

chocolatecake wrote:

nothing is going to work because I am not making any big changes. If they said please be quieter at 630 am I can do that - but they didnt say anything specific. For all I know they start work at 7am and are out the door at 6. I have no idea their schedule or what bothers them.

The only thing specific she said was your kids are even jumping at 2 am. My kids are sound asleep at 8pm. Short of my son going from his bed to the bathroom or me getting an unwanted visitor there is no kid movement after 8 pm.

Just a thought - is there anyone living under them? We have people under us and I hear when my neighbor walks around in heels (rarely, b"h) and when they move furniture my apartment vibrates. Once the neighbor came up to me on Shabbat afternoon to ask me to tell my kids to stop jumping on the bed. My kids weren't even home! It was the kids in the apartment under him who were jumping....

↑ chocolatecake ↓

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 1:52 pm

Squishy wrote:

You can also apologize and let them know you tried. Some people can be disarmed with kindness. Bake an extra challah for them. Say hello. Tell them you are trying these things.

I apologized and they say oh you keep saying you are sorry and don't make any changes. I asked her if there is any specific time or anything that bothers them and she got really nasty. "you want me to keep a log of times we hear you or video it for you to hear - its all day and all night."

The point of this thread was not really for advice it was really just to hear from ppl who are stuck in apartment buildings with kids and not very understanding downstairs neighbors - for sympathy.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 2:04 pm

I live in an apt and many times the noise comes from the ppl under me. I see it a lot when the neighbors above were away for shabbos. now I don't just blame everything on the ppl on top. I live in a crazy noisy building. Think drums at 1 am. no joke. there's nothing to do. I'm just accepting the noise and trying to live my life. Asking them to be quiet doesn't help and I'm not the harrassing type.

↑ chocolatecake

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 2:17 pm

They are on the first floor - so there is no noise underneath them. Its possible we are getting some blame for their next door neighbors noise. I have no idea who lives next to them. Kids are kids they make noise. My house is empty 830-430 and after 8 pm its just adults walking around...I wonder if their apartment is directly on top of the laundry room downstairs..Whatever it is my apartment is a normal kid apartment. I try not to do do anything too obnoxious yet three kids under 5 do make noise. This is apartment life!!!! You don't like it go to a private house!!!!

↑ 33055

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 3:59 pm

chocolatecake wrote:

We rented a private house with an extremely old childless unreasonable couple underneath us. She would get upset when I coughed in the middle of the night. She didn't understand why I needed to get up from the table so often during the sudar. Why couldn't I just serve everything at once? They constantly called the owner on everyone for noise. The owner limited the hours for using the washer and dryer from 9 a.m. until 7 p.m. - not exactly prime time to be home doing housework. They were difficult cantankerous people. They would complain over early showers, over late showers, over doing the dishes late, over cooking noises. I think you get the picture.

My children are considerate. They were not allowed to rough house. We didn't talk loudly. One of my kids used to ask me how I would like it if I were an old person and everyone was mad at me. Believe me, I understand your frustration.

Slowly we made friends. We always greeted them. I gave them challah and other goodies. I saw she liked plants, so I got her one. I would apologize profusely over things like a coughing fit in the middle of the night. I would apologize if my kids made noise. She finally started reversing her position to trying to help. She would bring me remedies or ask me if I was ok when she saw me rather than being upset.

I am still in touch with them.

amother

↑ Bronze

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 8:05 pm

Squishy wrote:

I suggest you change your mindset if you want peace with your downstairs neighbors. Get some area rugs from Wayfair for $15.95 and let your kids play quietly on them. Institute quiet and soft hours between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. Maybe they play with puppets instead of trucks. Tell the kids we use only indoor voices and no running. Don't pull out chairs at the table. Lift them. Yes, kids are kids, but they can be taught early on to be considerate of neighbors.

Your attitude is they are kids and tough on the people downstairs. You don't think they are reasonable. They are probably on their last nerve at this point and think you are self centered.

Kids can be controlled. Some parents don't want to bother or don't realize this. My kids always sat quietly at Shabbos tables and resturant tables from an early age. They never got up without permission. They didn't touch things when we were in other houses. They didn't run indoors. I am far from unique.

Thank the good Lord u find your suggestions reasonable. No doubt many here are rolling their eyes. My kids(boys) are very disciplined. Will never act out in public but at home?!

amother

Puce

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 8:28 pm

We had a horrible experience in our first apartment. The first night we moved in the neighbors underneath called the police on us!
It only got worse-we found nasty notes taped to our door, tons of banging on their ceiling, monthly calls from landlord.
Of course we weren't making crazy noise, I really think that in a 100 year old building the floors are totally shot and creak and all that...
Hugs because it was really miserable until we moved!

↑ southernbubby ↓

Tue, Nov 28 2017, 9:50 pm

Squishy wrote:

Wow, that is an amazing story!!!