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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Now she's in TROUBLE
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  greenfire  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 1:03 pm
im sorry I didn't mean for that to sound like it was directed at you mumoo - what are the places that you speak of that are willing to take suicidal teens ... perhaps I missed those ones ... I have been chucked out of camp extreme - the hospital has limited stay - told that this great school in LI cannot deal with my kid ... maybe I am missing something ... although probation is plenty willing to put her in detention or juvinile hall ... wonder what bad habits she'll gain there ...
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  chocolate moose  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 1:04 pm
maybe it would be a lesson to her.
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  greenfire  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 1:08 pm
tell me how many people in the world get away without going to school ... staying out late ... and smoking pot ...

what about the murderers, rapist, theives, ... they are the ones that should be put away - not a rambunctious teen ...
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  chavamom  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 3:07 pm
chocolate moose wrote:
maybe it would be a lesson to her.


Probably lots of other lessons you wish she wouldn't learn too. Someone I know had a dd picked up for a curfew violation (we still have those here) and he told the police officer to let her sit in jail the night and he would pick her up in the AM "to teach her a lesson". The police told the father that he probably didn't really want to do that b/c the girls in juvenile are dangerous.
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  chocolate moose  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 6:09 pm
chavamom wrote:
chocolate moose wrote:
maybe it would be a lesson to her.


Probably lots of other lessons you wish she wouldn't learn too. Someone I know had a dd picked up for a curfew violation (we still have those here) and he told the police officer to let her sit in jail the night and he would pick her up in the AM "to teach her a lesson". The police told the father that he probably didn't really want to do that b/c the girls in juvenile are dangerous.



(shrug)

I'm pretty distant from the situation, but I don't believe much in "softening the edges" for kids. I think Green works hard enough with her kids, that she shouldn't be the one to teach them everything......
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  greenfire  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 6:21 pm
don't worry they've taught me a thing or 2 ...
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  chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 8:00 pm
chocolate moose wrote:
chavamom wrote:
chocolate moose wrote:
maybe it would be a lesson to her.


Probably lots of other lessons you wish she wouldn't learn too. Someone I know had a dd picked up for a curfew violation (we still have those here) and he told the police officer to let her sit in jail the night and he would pick her up in the AM "to teach her a lesson". The police told the father that he probably didn't really want to do that b/c the girls in juvenile are dangerous.



(shrug)

I'm pretty distant from the situation, but I don't believe much in "softening the edges" for kids. I think Green works hard enough with her kids, that she shouldn't be the one to teach them everything......


Er, ok, I softened my post as to what the police officer said to the father we know. Would you still feel the same way about teaching her a lesson if I said the police officer used the words "lesbians" and "rape" (yes, apparently this does go on in jail, even in "juvenile")?
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  Mimisinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 8:17 pm
Green, on LI there is, I know of one psychiatric hospital for frum teens. My mother works at the hosp. next to it, and so I know it's hard to get a "bed" but that might be an option...
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  chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 8:36 pm
chavamom wrote:
Er, ok, I softened my post .......


ChavasMom, I also "softened" my post.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 05 2007, 8:59 pm
chavamom wrote:
chocolate moose wrote:
maybe it would be a lesson to her.


Probably lots of other lessons you wish she wouldn't learn too. Someone I know had a dd picked up for a curfew violation (we still have those here) and he told the police officer to let her sit in jail the night and he would pick her up in the AM "to teach her a lesson". The police told the father that he probably didn't really want to do that b/c the girls in juvenile are dangerous.


The new President has put a curfew here too, although it really started during the riots. I wonder if they put the kids in jail for that though.
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  greenfire  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 1:34 pm
well what to do now ... got a call ... she's in more trouble ... but this time for staying at her father's house and not getting proper permission ... now that is just crazy ...
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Ima'la  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 1:47 pm
*sigh*
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peach  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 1:55 pm
chavamom wrote:

Er, ok, I softened my post as to what the police officer said to the father we know. Would you still feel the same way about teaching her a lesson if I said the police officer used the words "lesbians" and "rape" (yes, apparently this does go on in jail, even in "juvenile")?


Yup, there's lots of that going on in jail. Jail is definitely not a safe place to be.

Anyone ever watch the documentary "Scared Straight"? Its about some hard-core criminals in jail who speak to a bunch of deliquent teens about jail life and they basically scare them into becoming straight obedient citizens. there is a follow-up 20 years later where they interview all those teenagers. Its really amazing.
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anon




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 2:00 pm
That sounds fascinating. What were the results of the follow-up study?
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  greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 2:52 pm
sorry to talk about my crappy life ... but I guess I'll just have a nervous breakdown ...
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  Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 3:11 pm
no need to have a breakdown when you can vent over here...

{{{hugs}}}
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  amother  


 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 4:44 pm
momnys wrote:
chavamom wrote:

Er, ok, I softened my post as to what the police officer said to the father we know. Would you still feel the same way about teaching her a lesson if I said the police officer used the words "lesbians" and "rape" (yes, apparently this does go on in jail, even in "juvenile")?


Yup, there's lots of that going on in jail. Jail is definitely not a safe place to be.

Anyone ever watch the documentary "Scared Straight"? Its about some hard-core criminals in jail who speak to a bunch of deliquent teens about jail life and they basically scare them into becoming straight obedient citizens. there is a follow-up 20 years later where they interview all those teenagers. Its really amazing.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scared_Straight!

As a result of the film, many states introduced "scared straight" programs in an attempt to rehabilitate young delinquents. The effectiveness of such programs has been questioned, most significantly by a meta-analysis of seven such programs by Anthony Petrosino et al. (2002, updated 2003), which found that "scared straight" programs not only failed to deter crime, but actually led to more offending behavior.[1] Of course, it must be remembered that the program was the brainchild of a film maker, not a psychiatrist specializing in the rehabilitation of felons; therefore, the focus was on whatever theatrical value could be obtained by filming a group of hulking inmates scaring relatively young teenagers.
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  amother  


 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 5:00 pm
at risk resources

http://www.rabbihorowitz.com/P.....ource
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  amother


 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 5:02 pm
What does her psych think about long term boot camp or something extreme like that? Would it be good for her? Peace corp. located in the same city that has a chabad for shabbat & really far away from home with a language barrier to trouble and a third world countries lack of easy trouble? How old is she? Has she ever mentioned any hints what she would like? Has she been open about whats driving her need to be acting out? I really wish you and your daughter luck getting through this difficult time in her life.
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  peach  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 16 2007, 8:26 pm
anon wrote:
That sounds fascinating. What were the results of the follow-up study?


Actually, of that particular study, all but one of the twenty something kids became law-abiding citizens. they interviewed them before going into the jail and all the kids were saying things like "I dont care bout nuttin... yeah, I would kill someone, I would steal your wallet, etc. Thats just me, I'm not scared of anyone". And then during the jail visit many of the kids were even crying. After they walked out, they interviewed them again and the kids were all shaking "I was never so scared in my life...I am not going to do those kinds of things again", etc. Then 20 years later they tracked them all down adn interviewed them. One guy had continued committing crimes and has served several sentences, but all the others had led good, law-abiding lives and they openly attributed it to that visit to the prison. They even showed a 20 year reunion between those kids and some of the original prisoners.

Its really fascinating. you can probably find it on DVD in your local library. (Just so you should know, though, the prisoners' language is not very clean!!)
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