Flower girls etc. | Imamother

newmom

Thu, Jul 26 2007, 3:49 pm

I think they are not jewish customs, but things that are part of the outside culture that were picked up by the jews. Personally, I don't go for them.
(Besides for the fact that I've been to too many weddings where the young kids walking down the aisle took away from the mood of the chuppah. By this I mean picking their noses while walking down, refusing to continue midway down the aisle, laughing, crying, ect. I don't think it's cute to be playing Uncle Moishe's hey dum diddly dum when the couple is about to be wed.)

Okay, now I'm waiting for all of you to say that you had kids walk down your aisle that behaved and were sooooo cute.

mimivan ↓

Thu, Jul 26 2007, 5:38 pm

MY SIL was really pushing to have her little girls all dressed up and walking beside me. I said very politely that they could wear their cute dresses to the wedding, but flower girls are not part of our tradition...

There were some amateur dramatics over this, but boy am I glad that I set the limits...

I think, consciously or subconsciously, it is a ploy by the mothers to take attention away from the kallah and intrude on things.

Last edited by mimivan on Wed, Aug 08 2007, 9:28 pm; edited 1 time in total

Tefila

Thu, Jul 26 2007, 10:50 pm

Quote:

There were some amateur dramatics over this, but boy am I glad that I set the limits... looking at the photo album, I can see even having the liittle girls dressed like brides and not even walking beside me detracted form things just a bit...

I think, consciously or subconsciously, it is a ploy by the mothers to take attention away from the kallah and intrude on things

Why are you Jealous Rolling Eyes

don't blame the mothers here blame the ones arranging the chasunah, I mean anyone who is dressed really nice could be taking away from the kallah especially if they are prettier Confused

Oh and truth be told it is a goyshe idea especially the part of walking down the aisle..........

↑ mimivan ↓

Thu, Jul 26 2007, 11:18 pm

Tefila wrote:

Quote:

Why are you Jealous Rolling Eyes

don't blame the mothers here blame the ones arranging the chasunah, I mean anyone who is dressed really nice could be taking away from the kallah especially if they are prettier Confused

Oh and truth be told it is a goyshe idea especially the part of walking down the aisle..........

Gee thanks, Tefilla...

↑ Motek

Fri, Aug 03 2007, 5:25 pm

mimivan wrote:

I think, consciously or subconsciously, it is a ploy by the mothers to take attention away from the kallah and intrude on things.

What a

thing to say!

Nicole

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 3:55 pm

I agree that it's an ayin harah. Obviously, I feel with all my heart that my child is the cutest in the world ( Very Happy

) but why do I need to display her? She'll be seen at the wedding, but she needn't be the center of attention. It's along the same lines of when ppl ask me why I don't have her signed up with a modeling agency. shock

What do I want to teach her? That her looks are the most important thing and should be flaunted?
Personally, I'm not BOTHERED when others have their children walk down at various weddings, I just don't see why they would want to. Unless of course the chasan and kallah b'davkah want it and it's a matter of being misameach chasan v'kallah.

greeneyes

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 4:14 pm

Having a bunch of little nieces walk down the aisle was something that my husband's side wanted, and since I wanted to be accommodating and not cause a fuss, I agreed. Truthfully, at the wedding itself, I was in my own little world, and it made no difference to me, but when I look at the video, I can't believe I actually agreed to the whole thing. As other posters mentioned, it definitely takes away from the holiness of the occasion. The kids stopped in the middle of the aisle etc... In the long run though, they had their fun, and it didn't affect me much!

TammyTammy

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 4:21 pm

We didn't have any flower girls or other children walking down the aisle, but that was largely because DH and I are both oldest children and did not have any nieces/nephews to walk down.

By us, the processional order was:

1. DH with both of our fathers*
2. DH's grandparents (both sets -- yes, he had all four there)
3. My brother and grandmother
4. Bridesmaids (2 friends)
5. My sister and my SIL (to be)
6 Me with mothers.

* DH wanted his parents to walk down with him, but they are divorced and felt uncomfortable with it, so DH agreed to go with his father and my father. Apparently, they overcame their discomfort for his sister's wedding a year and a half later.

As an aside, what about the whole concept of walking down an aisle to begin with. Is that Jewish in origin as well, or is that absorbed from the surrounding culture?

Tammy

↑ Ruchel

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 5:25 pm

I went with my parents. Dh wanted to go with his cousin (the rabbi who read the ketuba) and my father, but it meant I would go with my mom and witch in law. I told him no way, so he went with wil and cousin.

My grandparents were also under the choupa, they followed just behind me. I went after dh and rav and wil. Dh's rav (the one who married us) followed after me.

No flower girl, bridemaid... I dunno, we didn't even think of it... if someone had told me I had to have them, or wanted to be/their kid to be, I would have agreed wholeheartedly. A wedding is the time to make everyone happy lol (esp. if you don't mind the stuff).

↑ mimivan

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 9:25 pm

Motek wrote:

mimivan wrote:

I think, consciously or subconsciously, it is a ploy by the mothers to take attention away from the kallah and intrude on things.

What a

thing to say!

Sorry, but I'm not taking it back... It didn't happen at my wedding, but I've seen people "play games" like this

Anyway, I just think the whole thing is terribly goyische and the focus should be on the Kallah and choson.