Men Signing Off on How Their Wives Will Dress / School Reqts

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Khaki ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:16 pm

What struck me most about this is the requirement that the "father" sign off on this. (And if the parents are divorced????)

And I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong with leggings.

Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:19 pm

So your title is misleading. I think they want both parents to be on board. I don't see a problem with that, when I would see a huge issue if it was "men signing".

amother

↑ Khaki ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:21 pm

Ruchel wrote:

So your title is misleading. I think they want both parents to be on board. I don't see a problem with that, when I would see a huge issue if it was "men signing".

I disagree. There is a page where the father is required to sign that he will do his utmost to ensure that the school's dress code with respect to his wife is followed.

amother

Crimson ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:25 pm

While the rules apply mainly to women (polish, sheitel, etc.) at minimum the no denim rule would apply also to men. I don't see where it says this list is only for the mothers. What's the problem?

BetsyTacy ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:30 pm

Other than denim this seems to only concern ladies' dress. They couldnt find anything to pick on about men? What about tight pants?

I am amused about the nail color point. I am surprised they don't include a color chart of acceptable colors. Maybe they are saving that for next year.

Well, thanks for the eye opening look at a world other than mine.

amother

↑ Crimson

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:39 pm

BetsyTacy wrote:

#4 would cover that.
Like I said, this does not pertain solely to women and I really don't see what the big deal is.

OP, if the school rules offend you somehow, there are other schools.

water_bear88 ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:41 pm

BetsyTacy wrote:

I think point 4 would cover tight pants, no? Do the fathers also have to wear closed shoes and long sleeves?

amother

Aubergine ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 1:43 pm

BetsyTacy wrote:

I actually assumed that they included tight pants in there. It doesn't say tight skirst or shirts. It just says tight clothing. My son's school is pretty strict about tight pants on the boys.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:08 pm

There's a certain school that enforces fathers davening in their minyan. Both need to sign. Where's the outcry?

amother

Rose

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:20 pm

letter was addressed to parents, signed by a man and talked about 'our dignity....as Bnos Yisroel'. I thought that was the weird part.

Also - exceeding shoulder blade - does that mean the top of the shoulder blade, or hair that grows past the bottom of the shoulder blade?

DrMom

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:26 pm

What's wrong with leggings? They are basically ultra-thick footless pantyhose.

But whatever. I don't send my kids to schools like this anyway.

debsey ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:27 pm

1) is the school OK with a private, internal document being posted online?

2) you're trying to make this into a feminist issue, when really it's a personal integrity issue. A school has the right to set up any code of conduct they wish, for anyone they wish. It's a free country. If you don't like the school's policies, don't send there.

3) the idea is that both parents are signing off that they will follow a certain code of conduct. I (and my husband) have to sign my daughter's HS handbook. It isn't me who will be following those rules, such as the honor code etc, but the point is, the whole family is aware of the code of conduct expected of students in their school.

4) I'm sure both parents have to sign the Internet policy, even if only the father has Internet, right?

5) If you don't like it, change schools. Don't whine about it, and don't try to make this about being a poor, oppressed victim. You have choices. *(Unlike the school, whose privacy and choices about who gets their internal documents have just been hijacked by you.)

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:32 pm

Why ask us. Ask them! My kids' school has a dress code only for the kids (more rules by the boys actually, like no hair gel, kippa color, etc etc).There's a teacher who is the tznius mashgicha for questions. Father must cover their head and so do moms Wink

along with "tznius" but no detailed anything. And yeah, the feminism "à toutes les sauces" gets tiring as we say in France

sequoia

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:33 pm

DrMom wrote:

What's wrong with leggings? They are basically ultra-thick footless pantyhose.

I know, right?

amother

↑ Khaki ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:36 pm

Ruchel wrote:

There's a certain school that enforces fathers davening in their minyan. Both need to sign. Where's the outcry?

Its ridiculous to expect women to sign off on where, and how, their husbands daven. We are not our spouse's keepers.

Even worse in the case of divorce!

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:39 pm

And yet - if women weren't mentioned, some would find a way to misconstruct it too. "what, only men are concerned about davening?".

amother

↑ Khaki ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:48 pm

debsey wrote:

Hijacked by me? Its online at http://www.crownheights.info In fact, what you are viewing is an inline link from that site. I didn't even copy it. I read a news item. If you have a problem with its publication, complain to them.

If this were a matter of personal integrity, then the man would not need to sign off as to what color nail polish his wife would wear. Unless, of course, you actually think its directed to both genders, like, the school is fine if the father wears Essie Ballet Slippers, but not if he wears Teal the Show. And that the school demands that he wear a mid-calf skirt. The fact that none of the items indicate that they are for women only strongly suggests that they are all for women only.

Of course, I also don't equate agreeing that my child will attempt to adhere to a certain behavior code to agreeing that my spouse will. I'm my kids' parent; my husband isn't mine.

However, I do find it interesting that you, and most other people here, don't have a problem with your husband agreeing that you won't wear certain colors of nail polish.

studying_torah

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:50 pm

You do realize this is a Chassidishe school right? This is pretty moderate for one.

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:51 pm

Ruchel wrote:

There's a certain school that enforces fathers davening in their minyan. Both need to sign. Where's the outcry?

Is this story true? What city is this in? Even if it's true, its waaay out of the norm.

↑ water_bear88 ↓

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 2:53 pm

amother wrote:

Interesting. I do note it doesn't explicitly require skirts on anybody- you could read it as a requirement that skirts hit mid-calf if worn, but loose women's trousers (not denim, of course) should be fine.

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