What is chassidish life like?

↑ greenfire ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 10:18 am

suomynona wrote:

greenfire wrote:

never heard of a freezer ... curious

Lakewood Yeshiva has a rule that you're not allowed to date for the first 3 months after you come to yeshiva. They want the bachurim to "get into" learning before they start shidduchim. If all bachurim would start dating right away, yeshiva would basically be a joke for bachurim.

interesting - never heard of that ... is that per start of yeshiva year ... or just first year in yeshiva gedolah?

my son wants to go to college and yeshivas tend to say come first year ... and second year you can do both ... (he's still young) sounds similar ...

↑ suomynona ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 10:21 am

greenfire wrote:

interesting - never heard of that ... is that per start of yeshiva year ... or just first year in yeshiva gedolah?

Lakewood yeshiva is for bachurim of marriagable age. And it doesn't go by year, it goes by zman. So if a bachur starts yeshiva after succos (winter zman), he gets out of the freezer on tu b'shvat.

↑ greenfire ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 10:23 am

suomynona wrote:

greenfire wrote:

interesting - never heard of that ... is that per start of yeshiva year ... or just first year in yeshiva gedolah?

Lakewood yeshiva is for bachurim of marriagable age. And it doesn't go by year, it goes by zman. So if a bachur starts yeshiva after succos (winter zman), he gets out of the freezer on tu b'shvat.

so there are no engagements in the winter?!?!?!

↑ suomynona ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 10:26 am

greenfire wrote:

so there are no engagements in the winter?!?!?!

of course there are Smile

What if someone doesn't find his bashert until the next winter?
There are times of year that there are more engagements, such as a few weeks after tu bshvat, and during bein hazmanim for boys who try to "beat the freezer" by going out before they actually start yeshiva.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 10:26 am

Quote:

DO the women whose floors aren't always clean or make plain food considered less since they are not succeeding their task as well?

This isn't a competition. It's about everybody trying their best and being happy about themselves.
I am not the greatest Balabusta myself. So what!? I am a mother who sits down and plays games with her children. I am usually dressed up nicely for my husband. I keep my home happy and full of sunshine. You see, I specialize in other areas and I feel very good about myself.
( I also work part-time from home because I have an artistic talent)But even if I wouldn't work I would feel very happy with my role. If a person is happy with themselves they are happy.

↑ Mama Bear ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 2:32 pm

to the satmar williamsburg amother: My point was more about the hotel than the number of bishows. I havent heard of anyone going to a hotel. You usually go to a married sister's apartment, grandmother's apartment, or your own apartment if it's a daytime bshow (like I had).

To the amother who wants to know about the balabuste thing: It's not a competition about who can be the most 'geshikt'. True, not everyone fits into the balabuste 'mold' and it's a struggle... I'm a perfect example of this, I'm more of an 'intellectual' scatter brained type, I dont enjoy homemaking, and it's a constant struggle for me to keep my house in order and have a good meal on the table when it's so much easier for so many of my peers. But nobody judges me by the kokosh cake I dont make or the handsewn suits I dont sew. It's not a competition. It's a goal to strive for, not something to make you feel inferior or superior. of course it helps to be a talented person and have baking and sewing skills - those people have it a lot easier. It's more of a struggle if you're not an organized type and if you don't enjoy domestic skills. But as long as your children are neat and clean and your house is presentable, you're fine Smile

↑ greenfire ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 3:44 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

I actually have ... sometimes a family lives out of town and it is more appropriate to rent out an area of a hotel ... as did the person who told me this ...

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Jun 18 2007, 9:44 pm

Mama Bear,
I myself didn't go to a hotel But it's such a normal thing. My workmate, met in a hotel. My sister-in-law and Brother-in-law met in a hotel. Two Freinds both met their DH in a hotel. (all Satmar) Ask around. It's very common.
It's done for practical and privacy reasons.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 12:14 am

Quote:

What's the no driving thing? Is it no cars at all, or just that women don't drive? Who does this? For what reason?

JRK I think it's put somewhere in the caterory of Lo Silbush. It is not accepted in Williamsburg, KJ, Skvere etc.
I think it's more of a community thing. You won't see a Satmar Lady driving in Williamsburg but you can see a Satmar lady driving in Monsey or Boro Park (although many don't).
In Monsey, some schools are very strict about mother's driving and won't accept kids if their mother's drive.

↑ creativemommyto3 ↓

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 1:44 am

Mama Bear wrote:

I noticed that many chassidish women sew. Is there a reason for it?

Seraph ↓

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 2:23 am

JRKmommy wrote:

What does Lo Silbush mean?

It means a woman shouldnt wear a mans clothes, and a man shouldnt wear a womans clothes.
Guess that can be extended that a man shouldn't do a womans role and a woman shouldnt do a mans role.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 3:22 am

Okay, one more question and then I am ready to move in (too bad DH isn't). I live in one of the places in E"Y where we have mehadrin buses (don't bash me but YAY! I like it) an if I have to walk through the men's section of the bus it is uncomfortable, especially when the bus is full. What happens in places like KJ where the women and men walk about different sides of the street if you have to go somewhere on the other side. Isn't it mortifying?

Thanks for the beautiful inside view, and if you have more to add keep it coming!

↑ creativemommyto3 ↓

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 3:29 am

Thanks for the beautiful inside view, and if you have more to add keep it coming![/quote]

Same here. I can't wait to hear about the other minhagim, and other things about the life of a chassidishe women. Mama bear, you are a great writer, why don't you write a book on it? I would buy it in a second! Cheers

↑ TzenaRena ↓

Tue, Jun 19 2007, 8:20 am

breslov wrote:

JRKmommy wrote:

What does Lo Silbush mean?

It means a woman shouldnt wear a mans clothes, and a man shouldnt wear a womans clothes.
Guess that can be extended that a man shouldn't do a womans role and a woman shouldnt do a mans role.

Yes, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe speaks about this, in the thread of Feminism vs. Torah, I posted the link.

Driving in communities where women don't goes into this category and is considered a pirtzah. There's even a letter from the Rebbe to a woman who complained about her matzav, where the Rebbe tells her the fact that she was the first woman in her community to drive isn't helping her matzav.