Frum Survivor Sima tells her story publicly for the 1st time

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marina

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:22 am

amother wrote:

In NY, the statute of limitations expire 5 years after one is an adult, 18 years. Thats until the 23rd birthday. They are trying to change that, but so far it hasn't passed.

I thought the statute of limitations for cex crimes was abolished in NY?

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 12:42 pm

How can we, as LAers, trust these rabbanim? Rabbis goldenberg, Schusterman, Union and Rabbi Bess? These are not all just local Rabbis of one shul. These are MAJOR rabbanim who, if they give a psak the city listens (and Pico etc does.). Like when there was a meat issue a few years back they gave their psak about kashrus. People cared and followed.
Apparently they gave one here, through inaction, that the abuser can be trusted. Especially if the name listed previously on here is the correct one- Sherman Oaks is not some far flung village! Kids who live there go to school in the city- that's how close it is!
Exclamation

BrachaBatya ↓

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 1:11 pm

Yishar kokech

↑ BrachaBatya ↓

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 5:15 pm

I am so very moved by and proud of Sima. Kol hakavod to her for being brave, poignant, honest, well-spoken. We need more people to tell the truth, both in Jewish communities and elsewhere. These molesters are monstrous!!!!!! The lowest of the low! I hope this rabbi is so exposed that he never has a career again.

↑ BrachaBatya

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 5:24 pm

It reminds me of all of the stories in the news a while back about priests in the Catholic church who were molesting boys. Instead of being prosecuted and imprisoned, they were just sent from one parish to another, abusing more boys.

I know it's not the same thing, but t's a shanda that rabbonim on the bais din swept this under the rug. Unreal. Criminal. Very un-Jewish.

amother

Powderblue ↓

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 6:39 pm

What I don't understand is this--why does her saying it make it any more truth than the guy saying he didn't do it? There are a number of people here voicing surprise that these rabbanim that they know brushed it under the rug. Well, guess what? Maybe there was a reason for that. I don't know her and I don't know him but after watching the video I honestly don't believe the story. She sounded melodramatic and didn't even name him. I'm no lawyer but I don't see how he can claim slander for something that happened just because theres no legal evidence of it. Maybe there is good reason people are surprised these big name rabbis (that I also don't know) didn't "do anything" about it. It doesn't sound like any of the responders here know her personally so have any more reason to believe her than him. And much as there is stigma involved in making such claims there are still people who would do it in the name of revenge among other things.

PS while I think people should definitely come forward and we should definitely support them that doesn't mean that every person that claims abuse is a victim. There are stories of people who falsely accused someone and when you are a public figure you are likely to have enemies for good reason or not, but likely not because of s-xual abuse. Still, someone coming forward and others joining in does not in and of itself make someone guilty.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 6:41 pm

Oh please

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 7:10 pm

Clearly going anon on this one for obvious reasons:
I am very familiar with the halachic advisory board and the rabbis involved and Debbie is an amazing social worker who literally dedicates her life to helping s-xual abuse victims.
There are many reasons why they cannot say his name - most likely the statute of limitations for the type of abuse he is accused of has passed. Because charges cannot be filed - they can be liable for slander if she names her abuser. The JCW did an extensive 18 month investigation on him - and have had multiple victims have come forward. Therefore they felt comfortable to take the risk and publicly put him on the wall of shame.
Unfortunately he lives very close to me - and I have good friends who had no idea and have allowed their children to go play at his house. Sima is literally saving lives by coming forward.
The school where his child goes to has banned him from the premises - they have tried very hard to notify the parents - but their lawyers have tied their hands.
Unfortunately, s-xual predators in California have way too many rights. They have very relaxed standards and protect them more than victims themselves.
I have posted his picture on my FB wall and have warned my friends and neighbors - because he is way to close for comfort.
And to the amother whose head is in the sand - time to pull it out and see the reality thats in front of you.

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:02 pm

I'm from L.A. and, knowing most of the rabbanim named fairly well, I feel so disappointed - and even betrayed - that they hushed this story up. I hope this will encourage more brave, strong survivors of abuse to speak out.

Cookie Monster

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:05 pm

amother wrote:

Here we go again.....

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:08 pm

Anyway for someone to tell her to double check the statute of limitations? I think in CA it's like 13 years. This happened 9 years ago and she only turned 18 about 7 if I did math right...

amother

↑ Powderblue ↓

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:22 pm

amother wrote:

Clearly going anon on this one for obvious reasons:
And to the amother whose head is in the sand - time to pull it out and see the reality thats in front of you.

Why is a random persons word (a person who you (general you) don't know at that) taken as fact just because it's accusing someone else of a crime??

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:33 pm

I'm unsure how I feel about this story.

She is clearly not accusing this guy of raping her, so what exactly was going on? Also, I've watched many other survivors tell their stories at JCW events, and they all rang true, but this one leaves me feeling confused. I'm not saying I don't believe her, [b] I believe her completely [b] I just felt like she was very vague.

amother

Linen

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 11:15 pm

amother wrote:

She doesn't say the Rabbi's didn't believe her. She said they sent the abuser to "therapy" and moved him to a different city, instructing her parents to tell everyone he left for "personal reasons". If they thought she was "falsely" accusing him, why the coverup?

I'm a little confused as to what you mean that "we should definitely support" people who come forward. If your premise is that one whould be skeptical and not believe those who come forward, how is that providing any support? And BTW, false public accusations of this nature are VERY, VERY rare, statistically. (Meaning random postings on the internet are one thing -- anyone can say anything with no real repercussions. But when someone makes a public accusation under their own identity, they stand to loose a tremendous amount and therefore it would be very strange to do it just because you want to "take revenge" on someone for some hypothetical reason.)

amother

cornflower ↓

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 12:00 am

amother wrote:

you know what? its ppl like you who make us not come out and tell our stories!

so if you dont want to believe her, good for you, but you know what? you are really not doing anyone a favor.

thanks for nothing.

amother

↑ cornflower

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 12:02 am

amother wrote:

oh, so only if you are raped you are worth your story?????

I think I should stop reading this thread!

↑ chani8 ↓

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 1:28 am

I don't hate those who are ignorant. One FFB mother asked me to explain what 'molestation' means. She had no idea. She understood rape, understood that people say molestation is this terrible thing, but had no idea what it was exactly.

Child molestation is defined as s-xual touch of any nature, done by someone who is in a position of power over the child. Often child molestation starts with what is termed, grooming. This includes touching a child in front of their parents, giving gifts, to showing a child [filth] in order to s-xually excite the child.

One reason molestation is bad is because it opens the door to s-xuality in children, who by nature, are not psychologically able to cope with s-xuality. Also, they are not legally, nor developmentally capable of consenting to s-x.

Children are gullible, trusting, and vulnerable to manipulation. Molesters get off on destroying that innocence. They destroy a child, much like a rapist destroys a woman. No penetration is needed. A woman who was almost raped still suffers. A molested child may not have been penetrated, but it was 'almost rape', even if not violent.

Learning ↓

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 1:32 am

amother wrote:

It's not just her accusing him. There are others girls that came forward. It is clear that he is guilty. The rabbi even sent him to therapy. I have the feeling that the people here who are supporting the abuser are his family and friends. That is why they are amothers.

chickpea_salad

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 2:39 am

I am so very proud of her and I don't even know her.

amother

Sienna

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 3:34 am

I wonder if she has any suggestions for parents -- would there have been any way she would have told her parents what was going on at any time during the period that she was being molested?

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