Are Shabbos robes "shabbosdik"? Spin off

↑ pause ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 3:20 pm

Maya wrote:

It's a matter of hypocrisy, not opinion.

In Williamsburg, I was constantly criticized for going to the grocery across the street in a long black skirt, but it's perfectly acceptable to walk across town on Shabbos in robes sweeping the floors. It makes no sense whatsoever, so don't try to justify it. Why are you allowed to "feel" it's okay to wear a long robe out but I'm not allowed to "feel" it's okay to wear it to the grocery? Rolling Eyes

Maya, it's absolutely not okay to walk across town in robes sweeping the floor. The same community that frowns on long black skirts frowns on long robes. My acquaintances who live in Williamsburg wear short robes in the summer (or short skirt with a "robe top"), and in the winter, they pull up their long robe and hold up with a belt under their coat until arriving to their destination.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 3:25 pm

watergirl wrote:

We don't hold by what he says - this is just my husbands "proof" of his opinion (for his family, which I happen to agree with) Here is what Rabbi Meisels wrote in his book (its on page 29 for those who want to check). "Many young women today wear a robe and slippers while kindling the Shabbos lights and during the meals, thinking that they are honoring the Shabbos. They are making a mistake. A robe and slippers are not malbushei kavod, elegant clothes that a woman wears in public or at a formal function or wedding. It certainly is not the proper attire for welcoming Shabbos and the honored guest, the holy Shechinah. When lighting the Shabbos candles and during the Shabbos meals, a woman should wear dignified clothes and jewelry, the way jewish woman have done throughout the ages. ..... dressing in a robe and slippers, in a way that is more concerned with our own comfort, completely misses the point - for it does not add to the holiness of Shabbos"

Now, obviously he is a man and doesn't understand the point that was made a few posts up that its very hard to be maid/butler/chef/nanny all in fancy Shabbos clothes. The reason I brought in his opinion is that while its true that there are special fancy robes just for Shabbos, its not something that you would wear to a function.

Point being that (I feel) one should wear something on Shabbos to the table that would be worn at any function. Wearing something that you would never wear to a function diminishes the kavod to the Shabbos table.

To be honest I secretly agree with him as that's the approach I grew up with... None of us owned robes as my father expected us to be dressed on Shabbos.

I can't seem to adhere to it though now that I have a family and have been using robes/maxi dresses since my first was born... I do aspire to it though and hope to dress up for Shabbos once my kids are not so little anymore.

↑ Kitten ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 3:27 pm

watergirl wrote:

The reason I brought in his opinion is that while its true that there are special fancy robes just for Shabbos, its not something that you would wear to a function.

Point being that (I feel) one should wear something on Shabbos to the table that would be worn at any function. Wearing something that you would never wear to a function diminishes the kavod to the Shabbos table.

I guess some people think there is indoor Shabbos wear and outdoor Shabbos wear, and they have no problem with that. For example, some women who wear a shirtzl, not all, would remove it to go out and visit neighbors. Why? I understand that some people just don't want to have a souvenir of every kiddush on it and remove it before eating, but what so bad going out like that?

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 3:29 pm

pause wrote:

This. Many Williamsburg ladies shorten their robes so that it's regular dress length, others lift it or don't go out with it at all.

I believe those with robes sweeping the floor are few and far between rather than the norm.

↑ animeme

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 3:35 pm

pause wrote:

What exactly is the difference between a washable Shabbas robe and washable Shabbas clothes???? My washable Shabbas robe is my washable Shabbas clothes!!! My non-washable Shabbas clothes I wear when I go to shul.

I would go outside in my washable Shabbos clothes. I would go to the park, to the neighbors, and even to shul. It may be an easier look, but still nice. It's the type of thing I might send with my older girls for Shabbos for sleep away camp.

In my opinion, if you'd wear your robe out, it's clothes, no matter what the store calls it.

↑ pause ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:03 pm

animeme wrote:

So, as I see it, the only difference between my robe and your robe is the length.

And even that is debatable because many women wear short Shabbas robes (duty length).

UQT ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:48 pm

It's a beged Shabbos - I wouldn't wear it during the week - it's special for Shabbos, so in my head it's ok. Also, I abhor wearing tights, so I need something that goes down to the floor so I can relax in comfort with my socks on Friday night. I always have a fresh face of makeup and put on a sheitel before lighting candles Lichvod Shabbos. If a Rav came to my house for a meal, I would get dressed, but parents, BIL and others will have to bear with me in my robe.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:57 pm

When I was a newlywed (chassidish, doing the taking turns shabbosim by our parents thing) I realized that I was putting on a robe right after the shower, lighting candles, and then getting dressed to go out for the shabbos meal.

I decided then and there to take my shabbos clothes into the shower and get into that lekuved shabbos, not for the street...

Since then, having had a few kids, my friday night attire is a lot more comfortable than the stiff suits of my traussea... but it's an outfit I would wear when I go to someone else's house for the shabbos meal.

sweetpotato

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 5:35 pm

Shabbos robes are definitely not a thing in my circles (I'm MO), but I personally love the idea. To me, the idea of a long, elegant-looking caftan/robe/maxi dress/whatever seems perfectly appropriate for Shabbos.
Isn't Shabbos supposed to be about oneg and menucha-- to me, that means being comfortable at home.

I wear a dark, silky/stretchy maxi dress at home on Shabbos. I find it much easier to look and feel mentchlich when I wear it because it's simple and matches everything and I can focus instead on putting on jewelry and a little makeup. I always assumed Shabbos robes were at at-home, only with family Shabbos outfit, though.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:04 pm

If I would wear to my Shabbos Seudah what I wear to a function I would be very uncomfortable. That would not bring about much oneg shabbos to me nor to my kids (who I will yell at not to touch me with their dirty hands or drink grapejuic on my lap, etc.. for fear of dirtying my clothes).

I so don't agree with the op but to each their own.
To me a robe is special for Shabbos. Why is it different than a hostess gown? What if I call it a gown? then it's ok?
What's wrong with having different clothing for different locations/events? So my shabbos robe is for eating at home shabbos, or by any family member actually. And my shabbos clothes is for when I go to shul or eat out at friends (and the whole time I'm so uncomfortble, worst part is the tights)

questioner

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:12 pm

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12......html
http://vintagefashionguild.org.....robe/

Hostess gowns were popular in the mid 1900s and are mainly out of style by now in most of America. Circles that are more insulated from outside trends still wear hostess gowns as practical, comfortable but formal attire.
(In other words, if my husband can wear a black hat that went out of style in JFKs time, why can't I wear a robe that went out of style in the same period?)

mirror ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:53 pm

watergirl wrote:

Now, obviously he is a man and doesn't understand the point that was made a few posts up that its very hard to be maid/butler/chef/nanny all in fancy Shabbos clothes. The reason I brought in his opinion is that while its true that there are special fancy robes just for Shabbos, its not something that you would wear to a function.

Point being that (I feel) one should wear something on Shabbos to the table that would be worn at any function. Wearing something that you would never wear to a function diminishes the kavod to the Shabbos table.

Let's all wear ball gowns to our shabbos table. Problem is, once you put on an apron, it looks ugly.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:53 pm

Quote:

Seeker, I love you and I usually agree with your posts. This one, esp. the bolded, I take issue with. Like I said in the other thread, when WOULD you be seen in a robe? Would you go to PTA in a Shabbos robe? No. Would you run to the grocery store in a Shabbos rope? Nope. I would go to PTA in a long black slinky. That's the "to each his own" aspect.

I agree with Seekers comment about maxi skirts being our lounge clothes that we changed into to chill.
But I don't understand something here- are you saying that since you wear them to PTA it's ok to wear on Shabbos? How does that make sense? That is proving that it really is weekday clothes. Why would you wear the same thing to PTA and on Shabbos? how is that lkavod shabbos?

I would not wear a Shabbos robe to PTA. But that's because it's special for Shabbos.
I also wouldn't wear a shabbos suit to PTA. Or a ball gown.

bigsis144 ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:58 pm

amother wrote:

THIS.

On weekdays I have to change out of my work clothes before feeding my kids dinner and sitting on the floor with them. And I'll even put an apron on top of my "at home" clothes!

I can't even think about wearing what I'd wear to shul/a meal at someone else's house at my own home for any reason. My house is just too unpredictable!

I sometimes have to wear 2-3 different Shabbos robes over the course of a single Shabbos depending on how klutzy I am and how rowdy my kids are... I can't afford to wear anything that's not machine washable -- both top and bottom.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 8:20 pm

How about control top stockings? That sounds like the antithesis of Shabbos menucha to me, but if I'm at a Shabbos bar mitzvah seuda I might be wearing them. I would never wear them at home--it doesn't make it less shabbosdik, just comfy. My velvety Shabbos robe would not be considered fancy in many circles. It is fancy to me--it is not weekday home clothes. Weekday home clothes are sweats. As you can see, I wear robes, and am most certainly not yeshivish (I don't think I've ever met anyone yeshivish who changes out of denim skirts into sweatpants as soon as she comes in the door).

Shabbos in your own home means what Shabbos means to you. My husband did not come from a robe culture, but he got used to it pretty quick!

Ema of 5

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 8:28 pm

watergirl wrote:

Don't tell him I light my candles wearing my weekday clothing with my hair uncovered. And I don't get dressed until my husband comes home from shul. Then I wear a very nice maxi dress with a shirt under. And no, you can't see my bra and underwear lines. I know cuz I've looked, and cuz I've asked.