To Love Chanuka | Imamother

amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 8:19 am

I know that Chunuka is about a hidden Golus, it's about us celebrating our Jewishness over other folks. I seem to know everything about Chanuka. I serve latkes and the like. But I don't like it. Year in, year out, I'm happy when it's over. Chas vechalilo I don't neglect a single thing about it,

but could you teach me to love it? Please?

etky ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 8:31 am

Seriously? Out of all holidays not to like....
What is there not to like about Hannuka (unless you're counting calories Very Happy

)?
Nothing onerous about it, no stressful preparations, no dire issurim, a nice long holiday replete with history and ideology, an oasis of light in the dark heart of winter.....
Can you tell us what it is about Hannuka that you don't like?

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:01 am

etky wrote:

Seriously? Out of all holidays not to like....
What is there not to like about Hannuka (unless you're counting calories Very Happy

I don't feel anything, just being compelled to party. It's boring to be sitting 30 minutes listening to one and the same years and years while I understand what it's all about.

↑ etky ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:11 am

amother wrote:

I don't feel anything, just being compelled to party. It's boring to be sitting 30 minutes listening to one and the same years and years while I understand what it's all about.

Listening to what?

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:13 am

etky wrote:

Listening to what?

To Chanuka stories and divrei Torah as it's prescribed to.

Imhappy! ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:17 am

Dear OP,
try to be more clear, what about chanukah dont you like? 30min of listening to the singing after candle lighting? the parties...? try to pin your "not liking chanuka" on the detail that bothers you...

personally imo chanuka is a great holiday... I do get stressed out by the gift giving ( solved this year by giving kids $ and then doing shopping with them iyh sunday) and also give stress is hosting multiple parties... ( im working on that one... its a problem for me...)
once you pinpoint the issue you can work towards a solution..
holidays are here for you to enjoy to fill up with spirituality....

↑ Imhappy!

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:19 am

amother wrote:

To Chanuka stories and divrei Torah as it's prescribed to.

I dont know every minog. but I never heard of 30 mins of dvar torah I thought it was supposed to be singing... but again im chasidish and we do a lot of singing...
( oh... I love those song...)

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:19 am

Imhappy! wrote:

I like nothing about it. Nothing. It's the only yomtov I don't feel.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:21 am

Imhappy! wrote:

I dont know every minog. but I never heard of 30 mins of dvar torah I thought it was supposed to be singing... but again im chasidish and we do a lot of singing...
( oh... I love those song...)

What's there to sing for 30 minutes? It's hardly 5. And then you're supposed to sit in front of the lecht for 30 minutes.

myself

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:28 am

amother wrote:

What's there to sing for 30 minutes? It's hardly 5. And then you're supposed to sit in front of the lecht for 30 minutes.

I've never heard of sitting there for 30 minutes doing nothing. You could eat dinner, play dreidel/games, shmooze etc.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:31 am

myself wrote:

I've never heard of sitting there for 30 minutes doing nothing. You could eat dinner, play dreidel/games, shmooze etc.

I never said "doing nothing". I don't like Chanuka and it's activities.

Actually, I didn't ask to analyze me. I asked to teach me to like it.

bnm

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:34 am

amother wrote:

I never said "doing nothing". I don't like Chanuka and it's activities.

Actually, I didn't ask to analyze me. I asked to teach me to like it.

so do something YOU will enjoy. be it nap day or takeout or SOMETHING.

Lady Godiva ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:34 am

I've never heard of a minhag requiring anybody to listen to a half hour of divre Torah. But if that's what your family does and it really bothers you, why don't you spend that half hour playing a game on your phone while your dad/husband/cousin... retell the story that bores you? (Is that a valid reason not to enjoy a holiday?)

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:36 am

I "get" OP.

I am somewhat pyrophobic and it prevents me from enjoying it completely.

I have a former student who grew up in an intermarried household and hated the stress associated with celebrating Chanukah and other, so even though she's frum now, she also has a problem "loving" the holiday.

If OP's issues are similarly psychosomatic, she can work on figuring it out and still enjoy the aspects that are unrelated and perhaps even eventually overcome.

ETA, sorry OP. I just read your latest post, so feel free to ignore this one Smile

↑ etky ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:37 am

amother wrote:

I like nothing about it. Nothing. It's the only yomtov I don't feel.

I'm getting from you that maybe it's davka the lack of complex mitzvot, the shortage of ritual, mandatory content and a text to anchor the holiday that are the problem here. This might be compounded by the fact that it is a long drawn out holiday unlike Purim say that has 4 mitzvot (2 of which require lots of preparation) compacted into one day and where shul attendance for megilla reading is part of the observance.

↑ Lady Godiva ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:37 am

amother wrote:

I never said "doing nothing". I don't like Chanuka and it's activities.

Actually, I didn't ask to analyze me. I asked to teach me to like it.

Nobody can make you like something you don't like. And, truth be told, you are not required to like the holiday at all.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:37 am

Lady Godiva wrote:

I have a family who enjoy themselves tremendously doing what they're doing. I_don't. Me. Myself. I can choose to spend another 8 days of the year doing things I don't enjoy not enjoying them but I can choose to try to like them. I'm asking you to help me.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 15 2014, 10:42 am

Etky and amother, you got me! I'm not pyrophobic but it's something psycosomatic there as I grew up in non-observant home. Etky, it is about it being too simple.
Now what do we do?