having kids in your thirties

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Having kids in your thirties

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amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 9:55 am

how old were you when u had your last kid. When is too late. And Im not asking about those exceptions .

freidasima ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 9:57 am

And I thought you meant people who had kids who were in their thirties...like me.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 9:58 am

My mom had her first at 35 and last at 46.

she got married late

Ruchel ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:06 am

Thirties is not late in any circle. Not secular, who start in their thirties, not frum, who still have children (if they can) in their thirties.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:11 am

30's too old? That's silly! A woman in her 30's is in the prime of her life! Who said all babies should be born to women only in their 20's? Personally, I had a baby at 40. I would love for another one even though I'm 42.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:17 am

amother wrote:

how old were you when u had your last kid. When is too late. And Im not asking about those exceptions .

I had my only child (so far) at 28. Ive been SIF for 6 years and am 34. I hope hashem will still bless us with at least one or two more children.

Wondering why you think in one's thirties is too late? My mother had my last sibling when she was 40.

And what to you does exceptions mean?

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:18 am

And I started in my 40's. My kids B"H seem okay, so far.

Chayalle

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:27 am

I had my DD at age 32. I am SIF and pray that she is not my last. I'm now 38, and my midwife says she would see me for another 2 years. After 40, I would have to use a doctor for prenatal/delivery care.

My mother had my youngest sister at 42. She is Hashem's gift to our family (and we think, the world!) We cannot imagine a world without her.

What, exactly, is your question?

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:32 am

amother wrote:

And I started in my 40's. My kids B"H seem okay, so far.

I love your post!!!!

gold21

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:56 am

Half the world has kids in their 30s...
I mean, the standard time to have kids is in the late 20s and 30s....

Sherri

Tue, May 13 2014, 11:00 am

OP, perhaps you should clarify your question.

↑ freidasima

Tue, May 13 2014, 11:41 am

I have friends and relatives who had their first child waaaay over 40, went on to have more children and b"h all are healthy and fine.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 12:00 pm

In your 40's your chances of having a baby with chromosome issues is way higher than in your 30's. If you are planning to have 5 kids your doctor will encourage you to be done before you turn 40.

This is what my doctor told me. But he so nicely said that if I come pregnant at 40+ he will gladly deliver my baby. It was a conversation we had after I delivered a healthy baby BH, but we had to rule out chromosomal issues during the pregnancy.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 12:00 pm

you posted your question in the "parenting" forum verses "pregnancy" forum so I am going to take a hunch here and guess that your question (which could use some clarifying as other posters said) is about raising kids in your 30s/40s verses birthing kids at that age.

I had my first at 21 and last at 32 (my current age)
I had the most patience with child #2

Now at 32 I have an issue with noise (more sensitive to it now). I am more tired. I am also more stuck in my ways, I think I was more flexible with MY needs when I was younger. Dont get me wrong I would do anything for any of my children, but when you are accustomed to sleeping at least 6 hours a night, not dealing with diapers for 2 years, and bottles for 3, its hard to get back into the swing of things.

FranticFrummie ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 1:53 pm

I'm coming at this from a slightly different angle, because my daughter is adopted. From a parenting point of view, I adopted my infant daughter when I was 38.

I can tell you that although my energy isn't what it was in my 20's, the maturity, patience, and wisdom I have now WAY compensates for all of that. I was really not ready to be a mother any sooner, no matter how desperately I wanted to be. Looking back now, I can see that Hashem had a plan for me to be an "older mother", because it's what's best for me and my child.

Of course, everyone varies. This is just my experience.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 2:57 pm

I also thought OP was asking about starting to have children in your 30s. My sister had her last child in her late 20s, I had my first in my early 30s, and can't see any difference other than that when sis was my age all her children were already married and she had KA"H an einikel or two while I just started marrying off kids and looking forward to the joy of grandchildren BE"H.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 3:24 pm

I have heard women worry about 40's but worrying about 30's is new to me. I started and ended (at least I think I have) in my 30s. Kids are great Ka"h.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 4:57 pm

My mother was 43 and I was 21 and married when she was born. Bh, the pregnancy was typical but harder given her age. Delibery was easy and she's really grateful for her little girl. Not little anymore, she's 11. I had a baby girl at 22 and she's my oldest and only girl, followed by a few mischievous boys kh. She keeps my mom young and my daughter occupied! She's almost like mine, and I shop for her a lot too. I can't say my mother was thrilled with her "surprise", but now she is!! A bonus for me for sure.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 13 2014, 5:45 pm

I'm pregnant at the age of 36 and this pregnancy is really much harder than my pregnancies when I was in my 20's! I recommend having them when you're younger if u cld!!!

↑ FranticFrummie

Tue, May 13 2014, 6:00 pm

This reminds me of the old joke "How can you tell you're at an Orthodox wedding?"

The mother of the bride is pregnant! Very Happy

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