Need savings advice/priorities (Rich people problem B"H

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 6:54 am

I understand that in many communities supporting children is the norm it was not how I was raised and I am assuming the OP was not either. I feel that my parents supported me by paying for my education completely through college and graduate school. They gave me the tools to be self sufficient. If a financial crisis were to arise they would help, they do buy us gifts and are extremely generous but we do not rely on them. I know that there are many people on this site who think that parents should support their children and I respect your thinking, but I agree with the OP that it is better to pay for school and weddings completely. I came into marriage with zero debt, no student loans, excellent credit and bh have been able to maintain that because of the tools my parents gave me.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 7:05 am

chana_f wrote:

Why do you need to buy a house in a pricey neighborhood? Are there cheaper neighborhoods where you live? Best choice would be to live in a cheaper place and save a ton of money for retirement and other stuff.

I am not sure you are right. My parents lost a lot of money in retirement funds. If they would have invested in a second house, it could have been an income for them by the time they reached retirement.

Tamiri ↓

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 7:20 am

OP I am by no means a financial expert, but something here is bugging me. Maybe I've been living in Israel for too long. In any event, you plan to put $400k down on a $1.6 mil house? That's just 25%. And it means (again, based on what I see in Israel) that you really can't afford that house. Do you know how much you are going to be tossing in fees, interest and the like over the years of the $1.2 mil mortgage? Have you thought about it?
I would ask an expert opinion on getting rid of the first property at all costs, and then either by stopping the money bleeding our of your account and/or possibly getting a tiny little something out of it. See if it makes financial sense to have that extra $1k/month to put into a "real" property, plus whatever else may come of the sale.
In Israel, the downpayment is generally 50%, no less, and the mortgage is generally for much shorter than 30 years. This insures the lender AND the borrower.... it's not a bad model to follow. So far, not many people have lost their homes here or if they had to give up their homes, they weren't upside down!
I am so happy to read about a family doing so well. Mazal ubracha!

↑ saw50st8

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 7:49 am

Tamiri wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

20% down/30 years is standard here.

I know. BTDT. Twice. But look what happened..... and when you get into the $1.6mil range, well..... I wrote what I thought.

the problems here are more about the 0-3% down and the qualifying of people who didn't really qualify

↑ Tamiri ↓

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 7:55 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Tamiri wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

20% down/30 years is standard here.

I know. BTDT. Twice. But look what happened..... and when you get into the $1.6mil range, well..... I wrote what I thought.

the problems here are more about the 0-3% down and the qualifying of people who didn't really qualify

Correct. However... a family with $400k down on a $1.6mil property... with a debt load because of an upside down loan... and a relatively new business (if I understood correctly).... they qualify NOW, but...

↑ amother

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 9:19 am

amother wrote:

I agree with the op. Yes she can put them through school and pay for their weddings, however It's not her job to set them up for life. If they are old enough to be married then they are old enough to deal with their finances. I am someone who struggles financially and while my parents do help me a lot they did not buy me furniture let alone a house. I know people who have had everything handed to them on a silver platter and let me tell you they are so spoiled and expect everyone to give things to them. Is that the way op wants to raise her kids? I certainly and it doesn't sound like she wants too either.

I think your just jealous that others did get that! I have seen so many ppl struggling to buy basics when there parents are rich and on principal are not giving so they learn to be adults. sorry there should be a balance..if you have and a child is struggling help them. honestly it breaks my heart!

↑ Tamiri

Wed, Aug 07 2013, 9:25 am

amother wrote:

I dunno.... while I am very angry at a certain parent who chose to **** his inheritance away and not help us buy a house in Israel, it also made us quite self-sufficient and we learned to fend for ourselves in good times and in bad. I think that doing it on your own, or partially on your own, is a life building experience. I don't think we can fault people for deciding what they want to do with their money. We can hate them, but it's their right and prerogative. OP seems quite grounded, to me.