Girl's "privates" | Imamother

↑ greenfire ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 2:23 pm

Clarissa wrote:

couldn't agree with you more ... it's a huge issue to disassociate body parts due to their zexual connection ... makes a kid think something must be wrong with my p#nis or v@gina ... it's a wonder kids aren't afraid to pee - let alone the taboo on having zexual pleasure without feeling like you're sinning

busydev ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 2:29 pm

bamamama wrote:

Yes. The amount of body discomfort I see around here is astonishing. It has nothing to do with tzniut and everything to do with prudishness and community control.

but pee pee, wee wee, etc are not only used in jewish circles. there are many secular people that dont teach their 3yo urethra, aiver, private part, vulva etc.

prudishness. maybe.

but community control???

↑ bamamama ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 3:24 pm

busydev wrote:

bamamama wrote:

Yes. The amount of body discomfort I see around here is astonishing. It has nothing to do with tzniut and everything to do with prudishness and community control.

The OP (or was it another amother?) doesn't want her kids to say p.enis or v.agina or vulva at daycare. Another mother said she would be upset if her kid heard those names at daycare. I agree that it's not only the Jewish community but body shame is a tool some communities (not only Jewish) seem to use to indoctrinate people.

↑ chani8 ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 3:26 pm

bamamama wrote:

busydev wrote:

bamamama wrote:

Yes. The amount of body discomfort I see around here is astonishing. It has nothing to do with tzniut and everything to do with prudishness and community control.

Yeah, but isn't it more the norm to have this body shame, in society in general. It's probably only the feminists who see nothing wrong with saying vajajay.

↑ chani8 ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 3:54 pm

princessleah wrote:

It's along the same lines as girls not knowing their basic anatomy. A friend of mine was once conducting a poll of how old frum girls are when they find out they have 3 holes. It was shocking.

Are you counting where the peepee comes out as a hole? Because technically, imo, it's not a hole, it's a tube. Just like a man doesn't have a hole. It looks like a hole, but it's the end of a tube.

↑ Clarissa ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 4:05 pm

chani8 wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

I thought the word "vajajay" was just an Oprah thing.

She's the ultimate feminist, isn't she?! But I only started using that word since being on imamother, because the correct one is auto-corrected.

I don't know that I'd call her the "ultimate feminist." I mean, she was always a little too into whoring out consumer culture. Although sure, in her book club she did gather a bunch of women, light some candles, pour some wine and have them talk about their first period or whatever.

↑ chani8 ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 4:12 pm

Clarissa wrote:

chani8 wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

I thought the word "vajajay" was just an Oprah thing.

She's the ultimate feminist, isn't she?! But I only started using that word since being on imamother, because the correct one is auto-corrected.

Listen, I love Oprah. She's done a lot of good. And I don't know what "whoring out consumer culture" even means. Wink

↑ Clarissa ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 4:15 pm

chani8 wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

chani8 wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

I thought the word "vajajay" was just an Oprah thing.

She's the ultimate feminist, isn't she?! But I only started using that word since being on imamother, because the correct one is auto-corrected.

Listen, I love Oprah. She's done a lot of good. And I don't know what "whoring out consumer culture" even means. Wink

Her "favorite things" show was basically about attaching her name to things and getting people to buy them, and I didn't think much of her book club. But she was fine, I suppose, except I basically thought she was full of **** some of the time and had an ego the size of Kansas. She won't mind, though, since she has more money than God.

As far as ultimate feminist, I think there are others who would deserve that more than Oprah, but it's okay, since many people can share the title.

mdpa

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 4:17 pm

I always teach my kids the correct term. Except vag1na, I guess. We do tend to say vag1na instead of vulva, but otherwise I use proper names. Now we say silly things because the kids are older and they think it's funny- which I am ok with it b/c like previous posters mentioned as long as they are comfortable with it and can joke about it but know the proper terms and know noone can touch or see it I think it is fine. Also not to talk that way with friends, at school, etc. But what started the jokey names was when my 6 yo son came home calling his testicles Chinese balls. Dh and I could NOT keep a straight face! Apparently his best friend called it that and we just thought it was so funny trying to figure out where that came from!

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 7:52 pm

princessleah wrote:

It's along the same lines as girls not knowing their basic anatomy. A friend of mine was once conducting a poll of how old frum girls are when they find out they have 3 holes. It was shocking.

I teach high school girls in an out of town- kiruv community. My students are frum now, but their families have all grown and become frummer during the last 5-10 yrs. I am one of the teachers that the girls feel extremely comfortable with, and so they ask me all of the questions that they won't ask their Mechanechet (good times, I tell you!) I'm pregnant, so this year I was asked a lot about birth. Now, these girls aren't sheltered and they know a lot, definitely way more than I did in High School. The "frummest" girl (her family was always frum basically) in the class was asking about how the baby comes out. She nearly fell off of her seat when I told her that it comes out from the same place that her period does, where she would put a tampon. She asked, but it's such a tiny hole, how does a baby come out of there. It suddenly dawned on me that she had no idea that she had 3 holes... So I had to give her a Bio 101 lesson. She was horrified, poor girl. She said that she could never ask her mother these questions. Also, her parents will be marrying her as soon as she finishes high school, and I worry Smile

I guess it's good that I answered her questions....

miami85

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 9:51 pm

I personally learned the terminology from other kids, growing up, and was mature enough to not go talking about it freely. But why must we be so forthright with kids? I agree with the OP that identifying areas where a stranger shouldn't tough is proper chinuch, but a 2yr old is different than a high schooler and should be treated as such. I don't say "did you get a wound?" I say "did you get a boo-boo?" because that's what my--and any toddler can relate to--I DEFINITELY wouldn't call it a subdural hematoma!. Some words are just more child friendly and should stay that way.

It's not LYING to use a child friendly term. Somethings are appropriate to say "wait until you are older".

I mean when I once saw my sister-in-law's bedika cloths when I was a teenager and she quickly hid them and said "somethings need to wait until you are married"--I was SOO curious as to what she meant, I had NO CLUE what she meant. OK I learnt in kallah classes. Childbirth you learn in childbirth classes (the anatomy lesson is part of the class).

Let kids be kids, if they learn it elsewhere treat the question as a question, but keep children pure as long as they can be!

↑ granolamom

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 10:11 pm

Clarissa wrote:

Here's part of the problem. If a kid asks what this or that is, or asks a mother what she has or what the father has and the mother gets obviously uncomfortable or throws out some silly made up word (knowing at some point he or she will know the real words) than the mother is transmitting s*xual discomfort. Body discomfort.

How many threads have we read here about wives saying their husbands NEVER touch them there and seem freaked out about it? Or have never had orgasms? Or feel freaked out if their husbands want something that isn't on the daily menu, s*xually speaking?

I don't care if you want to call a p*nis the Starship Enterprise. It's silly and they'll find out the real word soon enough. But you're putting out there that there's something icky and off-limits and forbidden. You're starting the long road of s*xual guilt and discomfort.

I call a rear end a tushie as opposed to buttocks, because I like the word tushie. But I don't call a p*nis or balls anything but p*nis and balls. Why should I?

My son, when he was younger, saw me naked and asked where my p*nis is, and asked how I urinate. So I explained that, instead of a p*nis I have a v*gina, but I make peepee out of a urethra. Big deal.

I like the way I have to use asterisks here. I'm more open with my kids than I am here. Smile

for the most part I was nodding along as I read this. but the balls comment got me chuckling. I guess I'm immature or whatever but when my boys ask for that name I cannot say 'balls' without laughing. testicles are easier.

now I need to pull up snl delicious dish: shweddy balls on youtube. probably THE funniest sketch. ever.

cookiejar ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 10:50 pm

Clarissa wrote:

bamamama wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

bamamama wrote:

amother wrote:

sorry I am the amother from above..what's wrong with saying the correct one? for child protection reasons it's advisable that ALL children know the correct terms for genitalia . What is your concern about it?

^yeah

what gives? I don't know which community you align with, OP, but I gotta say that a little more openness about bodies might go a long way toward protecting kids from predators. Who cares if she sings "vulva, vulva, vulva" at day care? Anyone who gets their panties in a twist about that needs to get a life.

Warning: if you get your panties in a twist, your vulva might get irritated.

^Can be solved with a nice fragrance and a new tablecloth. A new tablecloth always solves my vulva irritation.

That didn't work for me. I could barely walk with a tablecloth stuffed into my panties.

Raise your hand if you love Clarissa

↑ cookiejar ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 10:55 pm

amother wrote:

observer wrote:

By the way I see no issue in calling it a "private part" or "private area". Anyone should understand what that's referring to.

Thank you for answering my question. With ds, I call the general area "private parts", and his eiver/bottom. Would it work for DD to say "bottom" and "privates"?

Will it WORK? It's your bathroom. Call it Bert and Ernie if you want. Call it whatever you are comfortable with. Personally, in my house, we call it nothing, because we never need to talk about it (gasp). If one of my kids says their "tushy" hurts, we will ask "front or back"? Or say "show me where". That's it. I happen not to like anatomical names myself, don't like saying them much, and somehow we get by! Call it what you want!

↑ Clarissa ↓

Wed, Jun 12 2013, 11:12 pm

cookiejar wrote:

amother wrote:

observer wrote:

By the way I see no issue in calling it a "private part" or "private area". Anyone should understand what that's referring to.

Thank you for answering my question. With ds, I call the general area "private parts", and his eiver/bottom. Would it work for DD to say "bottom" and "privates"?

Not to get too personal, but if you can't call these parts by name, how do you say them when you're with your husband?