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-> Judaism
yehudis
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 Mon, Mar 07 2005, 7:12 pm
Do you put candles on a birthday cake? Why or why not?
I once asked someone (not a Rav, just an older friend), and she told me that it's better not to do it because it's not a Jewish practice. So we didn't do it, but the kids were too little to care anyway. Since then, we've been to a number of Jewish frum birthday parties with candles on the cake. And right now my daughter is making a birthday cake out of play dough and putting crayons into it as candles. Which got me thinking -- she is going to expect that for her next birthday (still a few months away).
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Tefila
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Mon, Mar 07 2005, 10:57 pm
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Because a candle is compared to a light of a neshama.And by blowing it out it's like extinguishing the flame from the neshama. Lubavitchers and certain chassidim do not blow out candles or have them on the birthday cakes for that matter.Think it's a kabbalistic reason
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ForeverYoung
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Mon, Mar 07 2005, 11:15 pm
Yehudis, get her a scented candle and light it in honor of her b/day.
A nice compromize, I think
And if you put candles on the cake,they have to be kosher
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IM-MA
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Tue, Mar 08 2005, 12:50 am
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Rabbi Blumenkrantz in his Pesach book wrote that birthday candles on cake is a pagan custom and should not be practiced
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Rivka
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Tue, Mar 08 2005, 6:11 am
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I put candles on b-day cakes and when I was a kid we had candles on b-day cakes. I think if you are worried about it ask your rav.
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Tovah
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Tue, Mar 08 2005, 8:48 am
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why don't you put the sparkled candles on the ones that go out by itself.
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Rochel Leah
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Tue, Mar 08 2005, 9:41 am
Tovah- I was just going to say the same thing 
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gryp
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Tue, Mar 08 2005, 9:54 am
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we never did it when we were kids because the wax drips on the cake and the wax is treif.
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ForeverYoung
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Tue, Mar 08 2005, 9:56 am
| Quote: | | Rabbi Blumenkrantz in his Pesach book wrote that birthday candles on cake is a pagan custom and should not be practiced |
Many Rabbeim do not hold like he, so ask your Rav.
In our days it a totally secular thing; Does it still count as avoda zara?
I mean, people used to worship trees, but we do not cut them all down, do we? Neither did we stop using the sun & the moon, which are worshiped to this day.
Yehudis, this is a tricky situation, especially if that family was frum 
It needs to be explained in lines of: "we don't do this" like Chalav Yisroel.
How about making an unusual party, and instead of the cake serve individual mini-cup cakes decorated with the guests initial? (made from cookie or icing)
She'll be so buisy giving them out, she might forget.
Make her cup cake w/ different colour icing.
No cake = no candles! + there won't be any room for candles.
Involve her in the project, so she will realise that there is no room for candles & offer a scented one.[/b]
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Rivka
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 4:55 am
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What sort of wax do you use RG? I know they used to be made out of fat, but now most are synthetic.
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supermom
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 8:26 am
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when we had candles on our cakes growing up we used foil to catch drips. I never heard of people not using candles for this reason or any other reason at that matter.
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supermom
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 8:30 am
a great birthday idea: instead of buying pizza for the birthday let the kids make their own.
buy the small already make pizza doughs and put cheese veg. sauce and all on the table and let the kids create their own. while they are playing a game bake them. The kids love them. My sister had that at her b-day and the girls in her class couldn't stop talking about it.
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gryp
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 10:28 am
I dont put candles on the cake because of the dripping wax. even if they are of synthetic material if they drip onto the cake they should have a hechsher in my opinion. for this reason when I was little our entire community stopped putting candles on the cake, or covered the cake with saran wrap and put the candles on top pf that. the foil around the candles doesnt always work unless you wrap them very well.
I like to buy the candles that are a number and just stick them on the table, or I like to buy the trick candles that keep relighting but I dont put them on the cake either and we try and wave them out, not blow them out because as someone mentioned before we dont blow out a flame because it is like a neshama.
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ForeverYoung
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 11:22 am
| Quote: | | I know they used to be made out of fat, but now most are synthetic. |
but kids don't!!! & when they find out when older, we can explain that it's not appropriate
Also, you can extinguish a candle by covering it & blocking te oxigen supply - a great scientific experimant for the kids (with a foreword that only parents can do this!)
By the way, this candle - neshama thing - what's the source?
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hadasa
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 12:08 pm
I once read in a non-Jewish book the history of birthday candles, and it was interesting to see that it is a pagan custom, from the Greeks or something. If I find the book, I'll give the exact quote.
At what point do pagan customs lose their Avodah-Zarah significance? That's an interesting question, to which I don't know the answer. 
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Rivka
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Thu, Mar 10 2005, 4:58 pm
Yes who lets candles drip on cakes? I don;t, you buy those candle holders and they are never on the cake lit long enough for them to drip anyway.
Greeks were not pagans. Paganism is witchcraft and holidays like Halloween and May Day.
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hadasa
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Fri, Mar 11 2005, 1:56 am
| Quote: | Meaning of pagan (adjective)
polytheistic; hedonistic
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If I learned the story of Chanukah correctly, that sounds Greek to me! 
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Rivka
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Sat, Mar 12 2005, 7:15 pm
Pagan: a person holding religious beliefs other than those of the main world religions.
How does that refer to the Greeks? They were pretty world dominant at the time.
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ForeverYoung
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Sat, Mar 12 2005, 9:12 pm
Motek, cute story, thanks for the link.
But it doesn't answer my question.
The NESHAMA is candle of G-d.
Fire is not neshama.
I just don't see the connection!!
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