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CherryBerry
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Fri, May 18 2012, 2:37 pm
When my dh first found out that a beloved teacher of his was accused of molesting a bochur, I witnessed first hand the process that a person must go through when they hear this type of accusation made against someone they admire and respect.
the first step is denial. "he would never do such a thing. it must be a lie."
the second step is confusion: "did he do it? maybe its wrong? is there proof? how do I know if its really true?"
the third step is resignation: "it seems like its true. he must have done it. its terrible."
it takes a long time to go from one step to the next, and its a difficult process.
when he was in the first stage, every time I would tell my dh that its probably true it would be like a slap in the face, thats how much it hurt to hear me say that. after hearing it enough times, he was able to progress to step 2. moving on to step 3 can only be accomplished with time.
all the posters who are still in stage 1, are reacting as can be expected. reading all the comments here is like a slap in the face over and over agin. it really does hurt, even though its a necessary part of the process in order to move on to step 2 and ultimatly 3.
I think some posters here could stand to be more understanding of the difficult process that they need to go through to reach the reaction of he seems to be guilty, that so many of use here were able to reach instantly, without having any personal feelings getting in the way.
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chavamom
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Fri, May 18 2012, 2:45 pm
Clarissa wrote: | PROUDPEACOCK wrote: | they can have a case. This man didn't even have a chance to defend himself. Just wait until she is cross-examined and will be caught lying. | And, when you find this not to be the outcome, please come here and publicly apologize for maligning the name of a young girl who was raped by a grown man. |
A-MEIN!
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chavamom
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Fri, May 18 2012, 2:49 pm
CherryBerry wrote: | When my dh first found out that a beloved teacher of his was accused of molesting a bochur, I witnessed first hand the process that a person must go through when they hear this type of accusation made against someone they admire and respect.
the first step is denial. "he would never do such a thing. it must be a lie."
the second step is confusion: "did he do it? maybe its wrong? is there proof? how do I know if its really true?"
the third step is resignation: "it seems like its true. he must have done it. its terrible."
it takes a long time to go from one step to the next, and its a difficult process.
when he was in the first stage, every time I would tell my dh that its probably true it would be like a slap in the face, thats how much it hurt to hear me say that. after hearing it enough times, he was able to progress to step 2. moving on to step 3 can only be accomplished with time.
all the posters who are still in stage 1, are reacting as can be expected. reading all the comments here is like a slap in the face over and over agin. it really does hurt, even though its a necessary part of the process in order to move on to step 2 and ultimatly 3.
I think some posters here could stand to be more understanding of the difficult process that they need to go through to reach the reaction of he seems to be guilty, that so many of use here were able to reach instantly, without having any personal feelings getting in the way. |
But there really seems to be an effort to keep everyone at that first level. You know, malign her family, talk about how she dresses, mention she has had boyfriends.... it's "proof" she's lying.
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MaBelleVie
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Fri, May 18 2012, 3:15 pm
mimishkl wrote: | http://www.vosizneias.com/106559/2012/05/18/brooklyn-ny-da-hynes-in-stern-warning-to-charedi-community-im-out-to-get-the-mafia-style-intimidators |
Nebach. The shechina must be crying. I literally want to hurt the people who have caused this.
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StrawberrySmoothie
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Fri, May 18 2012, 4:50 pm
sky wrote: | PROUDPEACOCK wrote: | they can have a case. This man didn't even have a chance to defend himself. Just wait until she is cross-examined and will be caught lying. |
Would you send your daughter to him tomorrow for a session?
Instead of a fundraiser you should have people sign up their daughters for a private session with him and pay him his supposed rate (if that is true) instead. I think that would force people to really think about how they feel about the case.
Personally I wouldn't let my daughter anywhere near him even though I don't know details about the case. |
Brilliant.
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GoldFlowers
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Fri, May 18 2012, 4:53 pm
ElTam wrote: | MamaBear, the multiple instances of the same crime means the crime was committed on multiple occasions. So if, for example, I smashed your car window in, you got it repaired, I did it again, etc. etc. for say five or 10 times, the indictment against me would read the same crime five or 10 times.
As far as your other post
Quote: | I was responding to the posts right before me where other posters are claiming that she could have never made up such a story since she was only 12 and doesnt know about molestation etc.
My response was, she is 16, and she is very worldly, she isnt your innocent naive sheltered chasidishe girl. |
Can you see saying that it is possible that someone did something wrong (made up a crime) would lead people to the logical inference that they actually did do something wrong. It's not twisting your words, it's a logical inference.
I'm in my 40s, didn't become frum until I was in my 20s, grew up totally secular and I couldn't make up a story like this, detailing abuse spanning over years, with details that would convince police and prosecutors who are trained in zexaul abuse and used to hearing the details of these crimes day in and day out. I couldn't stick to the same under multiple questionings and I fact-check documents for a living. I get paid well because I can remember that 2,000 words ago you said something that contradicts what you wrote 2,000 words later and I know I'm not capable of doing such at thing.
There is a big jump between "worldly" and able to and willing to perpetrate a long-running hoax in the face of the justice system designed to ferret out such a falsehood before a case is charged. Prosecutors can and do lose their jobs for not adequately checking out the stories of accusers. It makes the District Attorney look bad, and as elected officials (or appointed by elected officials), they can't afford that. Prosecutors have been disbarred (lost their license to practice law) for moving forward with allegations that fall apart in court. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Cases where the accused are almost certainly guilty don't get filed because the person making the accusation isn't a "credible witness," and the lawyers know they won't hold up in court. |
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sequoia
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Fri, May 18 2012, 4:56 pm
Uh, I can't believe what disgusting things have crawled out of the woodwork to defend this monster. Are these the kinds of people lurking on imamother? I am sickened.
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5*Mom
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Sat, May 19 2012, 2:54 pm
Mama Bear wrote: | And I am NOT TAKING HIS SIDE, LADIES.... CALM DOWN. I am not taking any sides. I am being perfectly pareve. I'm saying, BOTH SIDES ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. He has been charged, not convicted. She hasnt had her day in court either. Until that day comes, both parties to me are equally in the right. Period. |
You most certainly are NOT being perfectly parve. It is shocking to me that you really don't see how you are just as shameful as the Weberman supporters who hung up those signs in Williamsburg maligning and discrediting this girl. That is exactly what you have done here and it should be causing you heartache.
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Sat, May 19 2012, 6:34 pm
After several months being away from IM, I was quite surprised to see this as a hot topic. I did not read the 16 pages of posts and I don't live in Williamsburg but I did hear from reliable sources what Chloe and some others said about the case.
Other than that, all I would say is that Yosef Hatzaddik was thrown into jail for the same accusation. Was he guilty? Of course not, but how else would Mrs. Poitifar, Zlicha, show her revenge? Then, like today, many people also believed that Yosef Hatzaddik was guilty.
Nowadays, this trend is quite common. You want to fire a teacher, you or are upset at someone, just go ahead make a bilbul and file such a report and off he's send to jail. I know several innocent men who were accused likewise because of revenge or for whatever reason.
The media loves such stories in general whether true or not, esp. if there are Jews involved and even more so if it's chareidi or chassidish.
Those who have yiras Shomayim would know better than to believe blindly everything they read or hear from the secular press.
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Raisin
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Sat, May 19 2012, 6:51 pm
Yosef hatzaddik was not accused of peadophilia, but of rape. By a grown woman. whose husband knew very well she was lying. He also went through no trail but was thrown in prison.
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Sat, May 19 2012, 7:14 pm
Raisin wrote: | Yosef hatzaddik was not accused of peadophilia, but of rape. By a grown woman. whose husband knew very well she was lying. He also went through no trail but was thrown in prison. |
Oh, please, it's the same idea. Although her husband might not have, people then still believed her.
Nowadays you have to be very wary with such accusations which is more often than not untrue!
A single person's evidence is not enough according to Torah for a man to be accused or for anyone to be motzi shem ra on him even though it's all over the media.
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StrawberrySmoothie
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Sat, May 19 2012, 10:10 pm
Besiyata Dishmaya wrote: | After several months being away from IM, I was quite surprised to see this as a hot topic. I did not read the 16 pages of posts and I don't live in Williamsburg but I did hear from reliable sources what Chloe and some others said about the case.
Other than that, all I would say is that Yosef Hatzaddik was thrown into jail for the same accusation. Was he guilty? Of course not, but how else would Mrs. Poitifar, Zlicha, show her revenge? Then, like today, many people also believed that Yosef Hatzaddik was guilty.
Nowadays, this trend is quite common. You want to fire a teacher, you or are upset at someone, just go ahead make a bilbul and file such a report and off he's send to jail. I know several innocent men who were accused likewise because of revenge or for whatever reason.
The media loves such stories in general whether true or not, esp. if there are Jews involved and even more so if it's chareidi or chassidish.
Those who have yiras Shomayim would know better than to believe blindly everything they read or hear from the secular press. |
I never get personal here. But your sick disgusting words here show your true colors. I cannot even express my anger properly. More like my hurt.
Onaas devorim. The words you wrote here are causing immense pain to many victims here. And some of us are realizing how maybe it was good we never reported the abusers...
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StrawberrySmoothie
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Sat, May 19 2012, 10:12 pm
Besiyata Dishmaya wrote: | Raisin wrote: | Yosef hatzaddik was not accused of peadophilia, but of rape. By a grown woman. whose husband knew very well she was lying. He also went through no trail but was thrown in prison. |
Oh, please, it's the same idea. Although her husband might not have, people then still believed her.
Nowadays you have to be very wary with such accusations which is more often than not untrue!
A single person's evidence is not enough according to Torah for a man to be accused or for anyone to be motzi shem ra on him even though it's all over the media. |
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sequoia
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Sat, May 19 2012, 10:12 pm
StrawberrySmoothie, don't feed it!
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StrawberrySmoothie
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Sat, May 19 2012, 10:16 pm
sequoia wrote: | StrawberrySmoothie, don't feed it! |
SO angry right now! I don't know why, it's not like I expected better from her, but it hurts too deeply...
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buzz
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Sat, May 19 2012, 10:21 pm
Ok everyone read this:
Weberman- child rapist must go to jail. He is a terrible danger to our young children!
Ad-kan received the following startling letter from Pearl Eng leman.
May 18, 2012 Editor Ad-Kan
Dear Ad-Kan,
Many of my friends and acquaintances assumed my presence and media outspokenness at the protest against the fundraiser for accused s-xual abuser Nechemia Weberman was due to my bitter experience with my Yoely’s molestation case. Not exactly wrong but not the whole story either…….
This past Monday, May 14th, I received a call from an unknown woman asking if she could speak with me confidentially. When I assented she said “my daughter was s-xually abused by Nechemia Weberman!” I listened in shock as she told me “when my daughter was 15 years old she began to dress differently than our family’s dress code and my husband and I were very worried about what this signified. We were advised to take her to Nechemia Weberman, the chassidishe therapist for “troublesome” girls. We trusted Weberman fully, as he was also my husband’s good friend. During the 2 something years my daughter was in “therapy” with him she did not tell us what went on during almost every session.”
I glanced at the caller ID and realized she was calling from upstate NY. My caller continued – “After my daughter’s wedding, one day she told me, ‘Mommy if you would know what Necehmia Weberman did to me you would kill yourself! He showed me relations videos, he made me do-------to him, he did ------to me, and he told me that I should never, ever tell anyone because no one would believe me; I was known as a “troublemaker” and he was a very Choseve (prominent) person, I would have no credibility and would only damage my reputation further! He tried to convince me that no one understood me, cared for me or loved me as he did. For sure my parents did not understand me or love me!’
To say the caller took my breath away is an understatement. Listening to the sorrowful tone of her voice was awful. Then she said “in hindsight I now remember that whenever I called him for a progress report or an update on my daughter a strange thing happened. He would actually instigate me against my daughter! I used to wonder why doesn’t he say something like - Don’t worry - we are working with her – there is hope for improvement – instead he would say what an ‘ “Azas Ponim” she was, how she would burn in Gehenim for her behavior!’ I would be so very angry at her and she at me; we were going at each other all the time.”
And then my caller told me her name! This family is not “nobody”, this is a well known, beautifully functional family! Very frum family! She explained to me that because her husband’s livelihood was dependant on the Heimishe public they could not openly expose Weberman – being from the community they knew the backlash would be directed against their daughter and themselves. And because their daughter was happily married they did not want to rock that boat either.
Her story continues: “When the campaign in support of Weberman was started this winter and I saw the signatures of the Rabbonim I couldn’t bear it anymore. I myself went to Rabbi Teitelbaum (R’ Zalmen Leib’s son) and to Rabbi Pollack and told them my story. They were shocked - ‘Oiy, Oiy vie, we didn’t know, we were told he was the victim of a bilbel (libel). However, you should know – we are still Yiddishe kinder and for this Weberman doesn’t have to sit in jail, we will take care of him and he will never do this again, and do not hinder us from protecting him!!!!!’ “
How do we say it? REVICTIMIZING THE VICTIM! In essence they are telling this poor mother – go home, choke your feelings and do not stop us from supporting and helping the man who violated your child! Has there ever been anything as cruel, as pitiless, as UNJEWISH? Is this really us? Don’t we stand for the Emes? For Yoisher?
I gently asked her what could I do to help her? Her sorrowful answer: “I don’t know”. Why did she call me now? Because she feels so terribly sick when she sees the campaign for Weberman’s fundraiser.
And so now we come to the protest or rather to the massive PR campaign for Weberman. We Yidden pride ourselves on being Uber Chachomim. No one can pull a fast one on us, no one can sell us the Brooklyn Bridge. So now I have several questions for us.
1- Doesn’t it seem strange that UTA, who goes so far as to censor with black magic marker a boy’s face in a first grade girl’s reader, that they employed a Yungerman as a therapist for wayward teenaged girls in his own office on Classon Ave? Not in the school office, no. A man with absolutely no training, no background in psychology. Who supervised him? Who oversaw his cases? Aren’t we very strict with Yichud? Aren’t we scrupulously gender separated at all times?
2- Does anyone bother to inquire into the facts of Weberman’s arrest? Oh we know that shiksa, that chatzifa, that oisvurf, that terrible girl, who made a revenge bilbul on an innocent “Mechanech” who was only trying to help her…..
2- Who is really behind the huge campaign to fund Weberman’s legal fees? We know it must be his family, but can they alone really pull this off without outside help? Who are the outsiders and why are they interested in helping?
Before we tackle the questions, I’d like to share some of my experiences at the protest. Several men who recognized me asked me angrily “Why are you here?” “Weberman did something to your son?” Two ladies walked by and angrily told me “It’s all lies, lies”! Sharon Otterman, the NY Times reporter standing nearby asked them “Can you please tell me why you think Weberman is innocent?” Here’s their answer, which is the sum total of what almost everyone asked says: “I know Weberman. He is a wonderful person, very smart, he has a wonderful family, he’s helped so many people. Look at the person who is accusing him – she’s garbage”. This statement of “I know Weberman” flies in the face of the Talmud ‘Aiyn apitrophes L’Aroiyes’, and the statement of viciously besmirching the girl is in the same vein as people saying “Look at Reichman and look at Yoely Engelman and whom are you going to believe?”.
Several minutes later, I was introduced to a beautiful young woman from Williamsburg. I did not know who she was then (I do now). She said to me shaking her head sadly, “I know Weberman very, very well. I cannot talk, I’m married. I cried all day today - I wish I were standing with you, but I am not able to.” And with eyes brimming with tears she looked across the street at the outpouring of support for Nechemia Weberman!
Now back to an analysis of the questions:
Ms Krausz, a student at UTA Bais Rochel School for Girls, was sent to by the school to Weberman for “therapy”. Isn’t it odd that after so many years of his “therapy” the school needed to expel her? Of course no Chassidishe school wanted to accept her. She landed at a girls school in Flatbush; the name of the school is not relevant.
The school provided a guidance counselor for some of its students. Ms Cohen * was deemed in need of this service. She spoke about her experiences at Weberman’s hands and the guidance counselor, being a mandated reporter called the police. Weberman was arrested.
Hello, I’ll say it again – Weberman was arrested because the guidance counselor correctly reported him! Do the posters or the articles in the newspapers tell us that? Of course not! We are led to believe the girl was a Moser! That she acted out of revenge to get even with Weberman! Now know this: When an accused molester is arrested the case is owned by the legal system. In other words, Krausz is not the complainant – the government is! The government in this case is the DA. Yes our friend, Charles Hynes, whom the media has shown to be the best ally in the community cover-up of molesters!
The DA and his crew will be on Krausz’s side! (Oiy Vey!) On Weberman’s side will be the best attorneys money can buy thanks to our misguided generous donations for his defense! Besides the family, guess who else is sooooo invested in defending Weberman? UTA of course! Imagine their headaches right now! UTA sent countless girls to Weberman. They must now make sure none of them ever, ever comes out to point fingers at him. Many of the girls are still below the statute of limitations – they are all potential missiles against UTA! Ha, and here we were let to believe the missiles were directed by the Krausz girl against our community! There is one little hope.
Are you starting to feel as if we are living in Sodom? Can the PR people really make us believe that black is white and white is black? We’ve been called many things – stupid is not one of them!
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PROUDPEACOCK
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Sun, May 20 2012, 12:01 am
Dont get angry, but this is all one group. Mrs. Engelman has an agenda of her own. She is therefore out their to cry against anyone that is accused. Bring me a story a letter of an outsider not the all in one Nuchem Rosenberg group.
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Maya
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Sun, May 20 2012, 12:05 am
PROUDPEACOCK wrote: | Dont get angry, but this is all one group. Mrs. Engelman has an agenda of her own. She is therefore out their to cry against anyone that is accused. Bring me a story a letter of an outsider not the all in one Nuchem Rosenberg group. |
Can't you understand that she is out there to advocate for these victims because of her own painful story and how badly she was wronged by the system? We need more like her, not shun her. You, and people like you, are ignorant and insensitive, and I want to hear how you will talk when it happens to your kid.
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StrawberrySmoothie
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Sun, May 20 2012, 12:09 am
Maya wrote: | PROUDPEACOCK wrote: | Dont get angry, but this is all one group. Mrs. Engelman has an agenda of her own. She is therefore out their to cry against anyone that is accused. Bring me a story a letter of an outsider not the all in one Nuchem Rosenberg group. |
Can't you understand that she is out there to advocate for these victims because of her own painful story and how badly she was wronged by the system? We need more like her, not shun her. You, and people like you, are ignorant and insensitive, and I want to hear how you will talk when it happens to your kid. |
arrogant people like proudpeacock are the ones that turn off many from yiddishkeit.
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MaBelleVie
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Sun, May 20 2012, 12:16 am
I wonder if there was ever a time in history when so many Jews were so STUPID. So many of the insular communities are turning into sedom. It's scary.
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