Tuition is killing us. what are the alternatives?

amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 9:30 am

I'm supposed to register my second child for school next year and even if after the humiliating questionaires and grilling they agree to give us a break, I wouldn't have enough to pay the school and I have no idea what I am going to do. I am putting off having a third child indefitiely ONLY BECAUSE the cost of tuition is prohibitive. this cannot be what sarah schneirer had in mind. I don't have the guts to put my kids in public school although it grows increasingly tempting. What options are there if the money simply DOESN'T EXIST and there is nowhere to get it from? I am constantly fighting a sense of panic. This issue is controlling our finances, our family planning, our emotional health...this is WRONG! Especially in today's economy, where people need to be happy with whatever job they can get, how does anyone in the frum community pay more than one tuition? who has a spare 10 or 20 or 30,000 a year after living expenses? WHAT DO I DO??

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:22 am

I don't know where you live but are your schools more expensive than other areas? Would it make sense to move just for this? I don't mean to Israel where it's pretty much free because that's a huge move, but in brooklyn I know it's a lot cheaper than other areas. Lkwd too I think.

(Sorry if it's a crazy idea)

nylon ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:22 am

Mrs. Mommy wrote:

find out if you are eligible for vouchers. It can cover over half of the monthly amount.

Vouchers are not available in most states, and they're aimed at poor kids trying to escape failing schools, not kids who are already in private school and having trouble with tuition.

Dolly Welsh ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:24 am

Would it be insane to mention home schooling, with some outside classes, and regular home visits by paid tutors to supplement the daily home program?

Torah Home Schooling already exists; there are links, conferences., resource materials. Links could be found. Here is one.

I am not saying it's for everyone, or a cure-all, but you might want to read about it. I have no experience with it personally.

http://www.beyondbt.com/2010/0.....ling/

You might actually develop a working relationship with the very school you cannot afford, if that were handled delicately. They might be talked into not seeing you as a competitor or a rebel, but a different level of customer. For instance: not everybody can afford a mink coat upstairs at Bergdorf's. Bergdorf's is happy to sell a customer just one scarf on the main floor. They have various levels of customer.

The school might be confident that not everybody is going to bolt and home-school, leaving the school with too few students to survive, just because they support home-schooling with programming. Most people won't bolt.

Then, when your family's fortunes improve in a year or two, you might consider coming back at full tuition, if they had been nice and supportive during your difficult period. They should consider that. And your sons, when successful a little later, would remember their kindness and donate to the school. But if not, then, not. Realism pays off.

Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:38 am; edited 3 times in total

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:25 am

amother wrote:

I am in Brooklyn. Moving isn't an option and while brooklyn may have cheaper tuition, the cost of rent and housing more than makes up for it. I am paying $5,500 for my one child in school now and thats after much bargaining and its in one of the cheaper schools. I don't have another $5000 or $6000. I just don't. I don't have half that much. What do families do?

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:30 am

amother wrote:

OP, just curious how much your income is? I thought it was pretty much a given that everyone gets tuition breaks nowadays. Guess not

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:38 am

I would rather not get into my income, its a little personal. however I AM getting a tuition break. full tuition would be nearly $7000. But for my next kid the most I can do would be 2500 and the school won't take that. I have a friend with girls in the same school who ligitimatly can't pay because the school she works for is behind in paying her. her kids are getting kicked out. schools are toughening up, and not giving breaks and grace periods like they used to because they are also short on cash. also the exedous from brooklyn to lakwood means fewer young families and fewer kids in the schools. that means fewer tuitions. so they need whatever money they do have coming in and they won't give up on it so easily. Our school got a new tough as nails administraotr and you have to go through a song and dance just to get an appointment with him and even if you do, he has heard the same sob story ten thousand times. the fact is we just can't afford it the same way we can't afford to buy a house and qwe can't afford a new car. we can't afford private school.
I looked into homeschooling. I don't think I can pull it off. I don't have the patience or the orginization or the space. I may have to look into it again, but not everyone can be a teacher. even for their own kids.

Petra ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:45 am

Personally, everything in the Jewish world is more experience. I don't know why we put up with it. From shaitels to clothing to food to schooling.

I don't know the answers. We were considering home schooling for a while when our income was not sufficient. Most states have online public school (the K12 homeschooling) which isn't true home schooling because the curriculum is provided and attendance is taken, I believe. So you would just have to augement Limudei kodesh.

↑ Dolly Welsh ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:46 am

Homeschooling is a job. It takes the organization and patience of getting into the subway, and being at a desk, at the expected time, sharp, and ready for the work.

It is probable you have already held down a job.

"If you mean it they will know" said my old pediatrician.

I feel bad mussaring you, chas v'sh, but the mindset and even the existence of Jews is at stake here.

You need some allies.

Get two or three friends together and form a mutual support hub, so you are not alone in the wilderness. Most jobs provide colleagues. Start with the toughest, smartest dragon lady you know. This is not about friendship. It is about colleagues. The only word that matters is "results". And if you have $2500 you can hire some tutors with that.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:52 am

Dolly thats why I work freelance. Set office hours never worked for me. Neither did sitting at a desk. I always have to be on the move. Its not a mindset, its a skill set. I can't teach the way I can't carry a tune. I would be Love to arrange for someone else who homeschools, to pay her to teach my daughter too but I don't know anyone who does it. and I do need allies, but the general attitude is you can't fight city hall. no one will stand up to this everyone just cries and begs and scrapes what they can. I get whatever work I can but things are slow and my husband has a dead end job but, the tzaddik he is, he is just happy to be working, times being what they are. however its not enough to support a frum family on when school is a part of it.

Shalshelet

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 11:15 am

LeahsEma wrote:

Well, NY doesn't have the K12 program unfortunately. Doesn't look like NJ or Connecticut do either. Unfortunate.

What do you mean, LeahsEma? Isn't it accessible online for anyone?

Also, OP, where are you located? It might help us guide you in finding the right people.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 11:26 am

Shalshelet wrote:

LeahsEma wrote:

Well, NY doesn't have the K12 program unfortunately. Doesn't look like NJ or Connecticut do either. Unfortunate.

What do you mean, LeahsEma? Isn't it accessible online for anyone?

Also, OP, where are you located? It might help us guide you in finding the right people.

is means its not recognized by these states as a valid education or have approved curriculums for those states. I live in brooklyn. the BP/Flatbush area.

saw50st8 ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 11:59 am

Wait - k12 isn't free in NY, but I thought you could pay a minimal amount to use it? Its like $30/month per course. Thats a lot cheaper than tuition, especially if you pick a few subjects that you can teach.

Tuition is (generally) the greatest burden in orthodox families today.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 12:02 pm

saw50st8 wrote:

OMG can you give me a link? that would be a lifesaver!!!! I am opnly concerned because my little one is so social but it certainly pays to look into it. like this even if I can't pull of school or she gets kicked out I know I am not out of options.