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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Other special days
healthywoman
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 Thu, Jul 21 2011, 4:24 pm
when your child turned one did you make a big party? just bought a cupcake and took some pictures? made a bbq for just family??
what did you do?
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MaBelleVie
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Thu, Jul 21 2011, 4:47 pm
We celebrated when we were visiting my parents, so we could have as much of the family there as possible. We just sang happy birthday and ate cake  I don't think any 1-year-olds are aware enough to get it, so don't do a big bash unless you really want a party for yourself.
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ElTam
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Thu, Jul 21 2011, 4:50 pm
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Small party just for immediate family. Took a few pictures. v'zeh hu.
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mom23
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Thu, Jul 21 2011, 6:39 pm
Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most.
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shoshina
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Thu, Jul 21 2011, 6:58 pm
| mom23 wrote: | Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most. |
As a not-first child, this makes me so sad. We have all of these pictures of my oldest sisters firsts...birthday party, steps, hand prints...by the time your down to the youngest and you ask your parents for pictures of what they did for you, you basically feel like the least loved baby ever...
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leomom
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Thu, Jul 21 2011, 11:58 pm
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I don't remember what I did for all of my kids, but the first birthday I liked best was very simple. We took our baby to a merry-go-round! Got amazing pictures to remember the occasion. It was a fun new experience that was just the right amount of "festive" to feel special, not overwhelming. It's the kind of thing that could have been a nice family tradition for first birthdays if I had only started it sooner!
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MaBelleVie
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 12:04 am
| shoshina wrote: | | mom23 wrote: | Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most. |
As a not-first child, this makes me so sad. We have all of these pictures of my oldest sisters firsts...birthday party, steps, hand prints...by the time your down to the youngest and you ask your parents for pictures of what they did for you, you basically feel like the least loved baby ever... |
Think of it this way: thanks to those older sisters, you actually had a whole lot more people loving you. I feel privileged to be among the youngest. I love hearing about my older sister baking a cake when I was born, and showing me off to all her friends. I think the youngest may not have the most baby pictures, but I love that so many of mine feature me in the arms of a proud, grinning older sibling.
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leomom
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 12:20 am
| MaBelleVie wrote: | | shoshina wrote: | | mom23 wrote: | Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most. |
As a not-first child, this makes me so sad. We have all of these pictures of my oldest sisters firsts...birthday party, steps, hand prints...by the time your down to the youngest and you ask your parents for pictures of what they did for you, you basically feel like the least loved baby ever... |
Think of it this way: thanks to those older sisters, you actually had a whole lot more people loving you. I feel privileged to be among the youngest. I love hearing about my older sister baking a cake when I was born, and showing me off to all her friends. I think the youngest may not have the most baby pictures, but I love that so many of mine feature me in the arms of a proud, grinning older sibling. |
MaBelleVie, that's beautiful and so true!
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Ruchel
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 4:04 am
We rented half a room (in a small restaurant in the Pletzl  ) and invited friends and family. Even two amothers! 
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mom23
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 9:08 am
| shoshina wrote: | | mom23 wrote: | Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most. |
As a not-first child, this makes me so sad. We have all of these pictures of my oldest sisters firsts...birthday party, steps, hand prints...by the time your down to the youngest and you ask your parents for pictures of what they did for you, you basically feel like the least loved baby ever... |
I'm not an oldest child myself and what I did has nothing to do with love. I'm probably the most fair mother EVER and make sure each of my children feel loved and special according to their needs. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for the other. I make sure big milestones are set in stone (I.e at what age you can have your first sleepover, at what age I allow you to cross the street etc.)
But a first birthday in all honesty is not for the child...they barely know what is going on...and I have been to many where the kid actually slept through the whole thing...it's for the parents! And after that first birthday I realize I wanted to make it about the child. Quiet, short and meaningful.
I'm sorry you misunderstood me.
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shoshina
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 9:31 am
| mom23 wrote: | | shoshina wrote: | | mom23 wrote: | Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most. |
As a not-first child, this makes me so sad. We have all of these pictures of my oldest sisters firsts...birthday party, steps, hand prints...by the time your down to the youngest and you ask your parents for pictures of what they did for you, you basically feel like the least loved baby ever... |
I'm not an oldest child myself and what I did has nothing to do with love. I'm probably the most fair mother EVER and make sure each of my children feel loved and special according to their needs. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for the other. I make sure big milestones are set in stone (I.e at what age you can have your first sleepover, at what age I allow you to cross the street etc.)
But a first birthday in all honesty is not for the child...they barely know what is going on...and I have been to many where the kid actually slept through the whole thing...it's for the parents! And after that first birthday I realize I wanted to make it about the child. Quiet, short and meaningful.
I'm sorry you misunderstood me. |
I didn't misunderstand you, and for sure you should do what is best for you and works for you, and if you feel like the party is for the parents, then you should what works for you, the parent. Your post just reminded me of the time I was looking through photo albums at the pictures of my oldest sisters first birthday-- sounds a LOT like yours-- big party, extended family, etc. Next couple siblings there was a picture of the baby and a cake. Yours truly? "Oh, we probably did something.....?" Younger than me? They don't even look in the baby books anymore, unless they happened to be in attendance at a simcha.
Of course the baby doesn't remember. Of course it's for the parents. That doesn't mean you don't feel badly about it later. My youngest SIL feels the same way, and the pair of us have decided to make a point of ensuring there are a million pictures of our youngest children/nieces/nephews.
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 9:32 am
Totally agree.
We did nothing. It was a non event.
My daughter is three and the only party she had even this year was in her gan. I dont know when I would start actually having a party at home.
But for a one year old? Nah, I dont think its necessary at all.
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mom23
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 2:56 pm
| shoshina wrote: | | mom23 wrote: | | shoshina wrote: | | mom23 wrote: | Well for my oldest I went all out. Invited family, extended family, friends of mine, friends of my DH's, "friends" of my daughter (and their extended families). I made a huge brunch on a Sunday morning, made a fancy cake, fancy decorations and fancy favors.
I loved preparing for it, and I loved the way it turned out, but I didn't do that with any of my other children. I came to realize that it was much more meaningful for me to invite over close family and celebrate the day with a store bought cake (I am NOT a good baker) and ice cream. Short, sweet and meaningful. I also scheduled the party around the birthday child's nap to make sure the child appreciated it the most. |
As a not-first child, this makes me so sad. We have all of these pictures of my oldest sisters firsts...birthday party, steps, hand prints...by the time your down to the youngest and you ask your parents for pictures of what they did for you, you basically feel like the least loved baby ever... |
I'm not an oldest child myself and what I did has nothing to do with love. I'm probably the most fair mother EVER and make sure each of my children feel loved and special according to their needs. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for the other. I make sure big milestones are set in stone (I.e at what age you can have your first sleepover, at what age I allow you to cross the street etc.)
But a first birthday in all honesty is not for the child...they barely know what is going on...and I have been to many where the kid actually slept through the whole thing...it's for the parents! And after that first birthday I realize I wanted to make it about the child. Quiet, short and meaningful.
I'm sorry you misunderstood me. |
I didn't misunderstand you, and for sure you should do what is best for you and works for you, and if you feel like the party is for the parents, then you should what works for you, the parent. Your post just reminded me of the time I was looking through photo albums at the pictures of my oldest sisters first birthday-- sounds a LOT like yours-- big party, extended family, etc. Next couple siblings there was a picture of the baby and a cake. Yours truly? "Oh, we probably did something.....?" Younger than me? They don't even look in the baby books anymore, unless they happened to be in attendance at a simcha.
Of course the baby doesn't remember. Of course it's for the parents. That doesn't mean you don't feel badly about it later. My youngest SIL feels the same way, and the pair of us have decided to make a point of ensuring there are a million pictures of our youngest children/nieces/nephews. |
I guess we are saying the same thing. While I didn't go overboard with a huge party for the rest of my children by choice, I still felt the day was special. I took plenty of pictures and I got to enjoy the day with my baby and family without all the stress. And I decided that THAT is what it is really all about. Not the fancy cake or the decorations or the huge guest list. It was about sharing this momentous day with those closest to us in a way that a one year old could appreciate.
Don't think that just because you may not throw a huge bash for your first, fifth or seventh child on their first birthday that it means you love them any less than any other child. You have to decide what is going to be most meaningful to you and your child in the long run. If that means a huge party - great! If it means something else that is also good.
I totally agree with you on the picture thing. If you don't take pictures, its hard to remember what happened. I don't take as many pictures of each of my consecutive children as I did of my first, but for those really precious moments in their lives I made a point of documenting it with a picture. So thank you for pointing out what my children could be feeling years down the line. I will try to be more concious of snapping pictures of all of them (including my oldest  )
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leomom
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Fri, Jul 22 2011, 5:06 pm
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I find I actually take way more pictures of my younger kids, because with digital cameras it's so easy to document absolutely everything.
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bnm
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Sun, Jul 24 2011, 1:53 am
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once a week 2 friends and I would get together with our kids who are just weeks apart. we would have cherios for the kids, read them a story and let them play while we relaxed and had some adult company and yummy snacks that the host prepared. the week of my daughter's birthday was my turn to host so I set up nicely- party tablclothe, disposables party papergoods, birthday hats for the kids, special birthday t (which they all had a turn wearing eventually) and hat and decorations for the high chair. I made muffins decorated with chocholate spread and sprinkles and set it up in the shape of a 1. the birthday girl loved it....
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